Does any other female go through this

[Ho****]

Allow yourself time. Takes me typically a couple of hours., so it's an afternoon set aside for me time, and nowhere near every day! These things fluctuate. Also, sloowww works so much better anyway...

And reminding yourself throughout the day, as you would send little hints in the lead-up to a date with someone. You've booked a date with you, so look forward to it. Select little thoughts that you like and don't worry how they make you feel, just think about them now and then.

Also when it doesn't happen, remember that doesn't equal nothing happened, it isn't a failure - I bet you can find some part of the time spent that wasn't so bad. Relive everything that was enjoyable, try not to tell yourself it should be more. Just because the end result isn't 100% doesn't mean nothing went right - if any part was lovely, that's a win surely? Stay with that, that's already better than feeling shit about it. While the whole thing's associated in the mind with effort, it's difficult to relax and allow.

The more times you look back enjoying the memory (even if it's a tiny moment that went ok), the more you'll find yourself looking forward to next time... It isn't an overnight fix. Your pleasure is your project, long term perhaps. There are certainly less fun projects to be working on 😏

[In****]

On 6/22/2025 at 8:01 AM, AngelGrace94 said:

So long story short. Due to past trauma I can't masterbate to get myself to an o. So I always need help from a partner. I've tried thousands of time but have failed over and over and over. My problem lays in the fact that I have a high sex drive and a partner that won't hardly touch me !ND now I have the male equivalent of blue balls. Advise please .

I think there's a big indicator here, from your own words you're stating the partner you're with doesn't want to touch you. Have you chatted with your partner about this? I only ask because it's so easy to feel dejected and isolated, when the other person may not realise how deep you are feeling from their action, or lack of action and the emotional turmoil that unfolds. It screams to me that you feel unwanted by your partner, and that's incredibly hard to deal with. On top of trauma! I'd definitely speak to them, communication is key.

 

Also, in terms of getting off... I sometimes can't even be bothered to start. The other lovely ladies have given some solid advice, it's you time. And it's a journey. If you can't speak to someone about the trauma, like a professional etc, then I think finding yourself during alone time is a great thing. Self-care, get a new toy that looks exciting, spend time trying and if it doesn't feel right, don't *** it. I'd focus on finding material that turns you on too, porn really gets me going and I took forever to find my special niches, I'd give that a go! 

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I'm truly sorry for whatever it is that hurt you. You've got this, though! So get that toy, crank it up and knock it up to 10 lovely!