24/7 Dynamics

[Deleted Member]

For those in a full time dynamic, do you find it harder to stay in that mode when you've had a rough day or family's sick, etc .?

[si****]

Any good dom should understand if you are having a bad day or family illness etc and make allowances or top for a couple of day.
I would anyway

[lo****]

We may be affected but it will not change our submission. Everything must be separate.

[my****]

Hope this still helps, I’ve been in a few but not currently in one. You have to be in tune with your partner. I have always had a warning safeword. Even in a 24/7 relationship you can safeword out if it’s too much. So if your day is just shit and you’ve been yelled at all day you should be able to talk to your partner about that day. If the situation is misread and play begins you warn them off with the warning safeword. It’s up to them at that point to determine what the correct course of action is. If it’s something the top feels strongly about and the bottom is in no mood for, safeword out. With the safeword all play stops. Communication is key.

[1k****]

No because I’m so comfortable around my Dom that I can let him help me cope. I feel better in full submissive mode.

[DeviantInside]

So… we do live 24/7. However it’s not always played upon… it could be at any time but not necessarily. However… real life comes first. If family needs to happen that is more important, similarly when *** or illness occurs that is the sole priority. Forget roles, this is the person you want to be with.

[co****]

It takes commitment and focus, even when it's hard or inconvenient, but that's what makes it stronger. If my playmate is sick, then my directions and guidance donshift to a nurturance role, but there's also directives to perform self care as well. Doing the tasks (non konky, actually constructive and beneficial to wellbeing given the context) and following the lead provided in times when sick, stressed or in crisis creates a degree of confidence, consistency and reliability in the leader that the partner will be taken care of with their health and wellbeing in mind. Consistency of support and keadership during stress/sickness is a good foundation to have, particularly when there's uncertainty at any level.
Having said that, the best approach is usually to start with something like, 'How do you need me to show up for you right now?'

[Mi****]

Yes! You have to be in the right frame of mind to do this or else it all goes to sh*t. You should be able to talk to each other and be able to explain that you aren’t feeling it and the other person should understand.

[Gr****]

Going luck with that

[Ka****]

Nope, I’m submissive 24/7. Sick or healthy. Master is always Master. He is always boss. Whether we are actively in a scene or play session he is always my owner. I am always his property. It doesn’t stop if we are busy or sick. Just like if you are married. You don’t stop being a husband/wife when you are sick or busy.,it’s who you are.

[My****]

If I'm sick I'm not passing it to you

[Da****]

Yes sometime it’s better to switch or go to a more caring mode.

[ey****]

while different 247 dynamics work differently for different people

being sick., having a bad day, family issues

these are all the sort of things the other person should factor in.   It's neither less Dominant nor less submissive to adjust your routine to accomodate someone else's needs.  

[Wo****]

Being in 24/7 but that dose not stop you from caring for your partner needs and understanding them as to what they need

[Da****]

As I always say communication, trust respect and honesty are very important aspects in any relationship or dynamic. We all cannot read each other's minds. Communicate what is going on. Even as a Dom and Master, I have off days too. We all have emotions, and if we aren't in the mindset, things can go downhill quick. That is why I put communication first. I should have included understanding. If someone is having family issues or just plain issues that is when they really do need us to show up. They need us. Not only in those times when we're playing, but even in the most *** times. That is when they need the protective Dom. The need to be secure in your leadership skills. That is when the Dom needs to lead by example. Taking on a supportive role doesn't mean you're any less of a Dom. In fact it is quite opposite. A Dom needs to show thst he can be *** to his submissive. In fact it would solidify your dominance in all you do. Stop with the orders sit down and listen to your submissive. Don't talk.

[do****]

Master/slave relationship is just husband and wife with kinks, at some point people forget BDSM was born and is feed by vanillas who bring the new practices just like anal fisting was created by vanillas before BDSM absorbed it.

So BDSM is all about relationships actually and is deeply just a community of vanillas that decided to show up their kinks and found many had the same and highlighted the set of basic values for healthy wife and husband relationship which extends to any number of partners relationships and sessions.

So 24/7 is just actually marriage when you get all the make-up and folklore that media and fetishists put on it.

So in a healthy relationship both will have connection and love for each other and will take care of one another, so you don't have to keep using a mask of domme in your relationship, just be human because being sick and needing care from your partner doesn't make you bottom or less domme.

People here seems not even have perceived you are domme and is asking from a domme perspective of the situation, but in any case no matter if you're domme or sub, in your relationship if you don't find easy and open communication nor caring/support from your partner in the difficult moments specially, then you should rethink if it's good to continue this relationship.

[do****]

2 minutes ago, domdegrader said:

Master/slave relationship is just husband and wife with kinks, at some point people forget BDSM was born and is feed by vanillas who bring the new practices just like anal fisting was created by vanillas before BDSM absorbed it.

So BDSM is all about relationships actually and is deeply just a community of vanillas that decided to show up their kinks and found many had the same and highlighted the set of basic values for healthy wife and husband relationship which extends to any number of partners relationships and sessions.

So 24/7 is just actually marriage when you get all the make-up and folklore that media and fetishists put on it.

So in a healthy relationship both will have connection and love for each other and will take care of one another, so you don't have to keep using a mask of domme in your relationship, just be human because being sick and needing care from your partner doesn't make you bottom or less domme.

People here seems not even have perceived you are domme and is asking from a domme perspective of the situation, but in any case no matter if you're domme or sub, in your relationship if you don't find easy and open communication nor caring/support from your partner in the difficult moments specially, then you should rethink if it's good to continue this relationship.

When you get off* all the make-up... (Sorry for the correction needed)

[th****]

When I have a lot going on or if something is very overwhelming staying in that role becomes difficult for me

[Co****]

24/7 doesn’t mean that the play never ends. It is simply a way of ordering the relationship. The rules I set for my submissive don’t change just because she has had a rough day, but I am not going to ignore that either. Both parties have needs that have to be met and family, work, etc are just as important as the D/s dynamic.

[Deleted Member]

I think it’s important to approach your own struggles / a partners with a sense of realism and understanding despite the dynamic

I’ve had 2 scenarios now where I am trying to be a proper Sub, but between moving, renovating a new apartment, working, finding furniture,

It is apparent that I am in no position to dedicate myself to the lifestyle let alone commit my time consistently in any way.

If these people were more considerate of my situation / adjusted their methods accordingly or at least ACKNOWLEDGED the fact that my personal life would be getting in the way for a small amount of time,

I think I would be more inclined to try such a dynamic out again

But for the mean time, I have a bad taste in my mouth and do feel like the Dom / Sub dynamic in which a male is submissive is exclusively for females to make *** and has nothing to do with fun, exploration, structure, and the sorts.

Long story short, I have an inaccurate generalization of Dom/sub dynamics and feel that the entire experience is just one big pay wall.

I wish to think differently in the future and I hope my situation may help you.

It is very difficult to stay immersed when your life is not like everybody else’s

[ey****]

I think an issue also is 24/7 is a destination, not a starting point.

So if you try it as a starting point and life gets in the way - then - 24/7 wasn't the right approach - but when folk build up to a 24/7 then it's easier to have flexibility and work around what 24/7 means to you both

[Deleted Member]

From a Domme pov, one who prefers and currently holds a TPE dynamic, the short answer is no.


The long is, power exchange is the foundation of the relationship. So if, for example, I’m sick and not outwardly “acting Dominant” that doesn’t mean I’m suddenly not the Domme. My property going into “care mode” and doing what might outwardly look like “Top behavior” ie choosing what is for dinner, telling me to take medicine or whatever, is coming from a place of service and is not from an attempt to lead. Does that make sense? Taking care of me is an act of service and anticipating needs or taking on the decision making role in ways that I might normally, is all to lighten my load until I’m feeling better.

Submission and service, like its counterpart, oftentimes comes down to intention rather than the superficial actions. In my opinion.

[CL****]

I haven't been 24/7 but I was straight sub to a Domme and sometimes I felt like cancelling a hangout or a session because of stress or mood but instead, I shared my mood and she made sure I forgot about it all 😊

Nothing like a good Domme to share our feelings with and let her deal with them at least for a few hours :)

[yo****]

Ik the feeling