Finding people for less common kinks?

[Deleted Member]

How do yall go about finding people who are into more taboo kinks or kinks that aren't normally sought after?

[CaraVirt]

Note: Please make sure that no non-discussable or illegal practices are discussed in the discussion. Our guidelines naturally also apply here.

Greetings, Carmen FET Team

[bo****]

You find an obedient sub or find/create a group for your kink. Nothing easy in life.

[Ch****]

Step 1: attend munches, blah blah blah. Step 2: be a person and get kinky woman to like you.
Step 3: Date woman. Enhance like.
Step 4: Get a bucket
Step 5: Introduce fetishes
Step 6: Woman throws up in bucket
Step 7: Break up. Repeat all steps as necessary.

[sardonicus87]

In my experience, short of moving 2,000+ miles away, you don't. If it's not D/s stuff, rope, fire or wax... pretty good chance won't find what you're looking for.

[wa****]

First, find a good sub. Get her very emotionally dependent on you. Then present her with what you want to do very slowly. Get her used to the idea that the kink is something you enjoy as a Dom and she should br accepting as embracing you. In off play time, expose her to videos and talk about it positively. During playing, punish her for not obeying. Its no different than ropes or crop, but seeing her doing it will prove she's a good girl. Remember to reward her lavishly afterwards.
This works with swallowing vs spitting. Reward swallowing, punish spitting. Do this with any kink.

[Sa****]

Try the fetlife app

[Deleted Member]

@ChromeStarz how do you find out what munchies are happening around ones area?

[ki****]

I don't i just use my imagination 💀

[ey****]

it depends, wholly, on what these kinks are

but honestly - people talking "taboo" often raises eyebrows - if you can't communicate what these are you've failed in the whole "commuinication is key" thing

But even "common" kinks - you can't just woo people with your kink 

[Ju****]

Fetlife*

Edited September 6 by FETMOD-TF
*External link removed

[ge****]

The same way as you go about finding those who are into any common interests whether they be vanilla or kink - you find places where those people go, you get to know them, you see if you have things in common and if there is mutual interest from both sides you progress from there.

[Deleted Member]

Well, I guess it would depend on what you're looking for...

[Ca****]

Still struggling with it. Fetlife hasn't been great for finding people into my specific kink interests (abdl, ageplay, big/little dynamic, primarily non-sexual)

[Deleted Member]

People mention Fetlife. I came here because I haven't found anyone on Fetlife in many years. I've been on Fetlife since it began in 2008. Met a handful of people over the years, but not many. Seems like so many fake accounts on all these sites. Are there real actual honest human beings on here? LOL. Or is everything a lie?

[Ps****]

I hear that, really perpetuates the Internet is dead theory.

[Ma****]

11 hours ago, wakefield125474 said:

First, find a good sub. Get her very emotionally dependent on you. Then present her with what you want to do very slowly. Get her used to the idea that the kink is something you enjoy as a Dom and she should br accepting as embracing you. In off play time, expose her to videos and talk about it positively. During playing, punish her for not obeying. Its no different than ropes or crop, but seeing her doing it will prove she's a good girl. Remember to reward her lavishly afterwards.
This works with swallowing vs spitting. Reward swallowing, punish spitting. Do this with any kink.

Absolutely f**king not. You're describing manipulation and *** and everything you've said just points to you being a horrifically dangerous person

[Pr****]

Short answer, I don't. I've been looking for a partner for taboo kinks for like 2 years. So if you have advice, let me know.

[ey****]

There are good things about fetlife - but it often gets presented as a magic solution to every problem as if people suggesting it are on the payroll.

Fetlife is also full of people frustrated they can't find people regardless of if it's a unique fetish they think is special - or - a common fetish

and it doesn't matter too much which sites your on, the common denominators are the same.    Finding compatible partners is hard. Finding them online is often harder because of so many communication barriers. Weak or low effort personal ads or ways of contact makes things harder in itself.

And folk assume it's the old and boring "fakes and scammers" when the reality is always if that is all you attract then it's likely your own approach. 

 

There are a couple of comments in this thread I like, but most cannot tell you how to find someone cos, sadly, there's no magic formula or magic wand.   

[ge****]

5 hours ago, ganderson17746 said:

People mention Fetlife. I came here because I haven't found anyone on Fetlife in many years. I've been on Fetlife since it began in 2008. Met a handful of people over the years, but not many. Seems like so many fake accounts on all these sites. Are there real actual honest human beings on here? LOL. Or is everything a lie?

That's because Fetlife isn't primarily a dating site - more a site to use for information, including information about local events where you *can* meet like minded people and build a network that *may* lead to play.
.
Seek out local Munches and the like - get to know people, not with a view to anything happening necessarily but to simply interact etc - you'll be surprised how different your experience will be if you do.

[sardonicus87]

Also, define "taboo", because there's a lot of kinks that are super common and accepted but people think they're more taboo than what they are. And there are kinks that are uncommon, but nonetheless not viewed as taboo (relatively speaking within kink). For some, anything beyond just basic blowies and handies with strangers is "taboo", for others, "taboo" is only the stuff that isn't legal.

[We****]

17 hours ago, wakefield125474 said:

First, find a good sub. Get her very emotionally dependent on you. Then present her with what you want to do very slowly. Get her used to the idea that the kink is something you enjoy as a Dom and she should br accepting as embracing you. In off play time, expose her to videos and talk about it positively. During playing, punish her for not obeying. Its no different than ropes or crop, but seeing her doing it will prove she's a good girl. Remember to reward her lavishly afterwards.
This works with swallowing vs spitting. Reward swallowing, punish spitting. Do this with any kink.

NO ONE DO THIS! That’s far from how to do it! That’s a huge red flag!

[pu****]

15 hours ago, ganderson17746 said:

People mention Fetlife. I came here because I haven't found anyone on Fetlife in many years. I've been on Fetlife since it began in 2008. Met a handful of people over the years, but not many. Seems like so many fake accounts on all these sites. Are there real actual honest human beings on here? LOL. Or is everything a lie?

I've had a fetlife for like 10 yrs and honestly the site has gone downhill it's basically an OF ad board now basically use it for events and that's it

[Ot****]

16 hours ago, ganderson17746 said:

People mention Fetlife. I came here because I haven't found anyone on Fetlife in many years. I've been on Fetlife since it began in 2008. Met a handful of people over the years, but not many. Seems like so many fake accounts on all these sites. Are there real actual honest human beings on here? LOL. Or is everything a lie?

Everything is cake.

[Ot****]

Be open about your kinks. People who share your interests will find you.

Louder, for the people in the back:

THE BEST WAY TO FIND PEOPLE WHO SHARE YOUR KINKS IS TO LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY.

Whether it’s here, Fetlife, Facebook, Lex, Tinder, or whatever. Find the appropriate group and say “I’m into this thing…” and see who responds.

Or go onto a place like Reddit with an anonymous profile and post in r/BDSMcommunity “does anyone share my fetish” and talk about what it is. Hell, someone asked about gerbil play there the other day (a form of pet play, nothing to do with lemmiwinks).

I met someone who was my needle bottom that way who ended up later being my submissive for a couple of years.