Vanilla guy dating a little

[Do****]

So I date a little and she was open to me saying she’s into bdsm, we having a sort of DDLG and I know from her she used to be a slave too … she’s feeling good with me and not submitting to me as she did with the others in her paste … she was open and told me stories … etc … I wonder why?! Any thoughts ?

[re****]

What is DDLG?
I’m thinking the reason she told you is because she’s into you

[Sh****]

Well I'd take that openness and cherish it. Cause for some littles opening up like that takes a great amount of trust to do. And honestly to surprise her look into more ddlg and surprise her with a full little day or something. Cause I think and this is my opinion. She sees a very good daddy, and or caregiver in you

[Do****]

Ok, that’s a good thing, but will she need this slave/***?! … the last partner shared her with friends … she just did to please him … this was her explanation

[Deleted Member]

I am very confused by this post. You say you are vanilla yet you are sort of in a dynamic? Like is this just bedroom play or do you take it outside of the bedroom? Either way I would say you are not a vanilla guy and being on this app also makes it seem like you are not a vanilla guy. So maybe the real question is, How do you transition from calling yourself a vanilla guy to a kinkster/Lifestyler?

Search your local area or join an Online Munch, the both of you, talk to your community and get regular guidance? I highly recommend a mentor for you both to help figure out what it is you're looking for.

[Sw****]

11 minutes ago, rebellious_slut said:

What is DDLG?
I’m thinking the reason she told you is because she’s into you

Dd LG is daddy little girl. ie age play

[Deleted Member]

From the little information I’ve got maybe she’s not feeling 100% sure you want a full submission. If you haven’t had that conversation that you are open to exploring deeper you should have it. If you’re at all curious start researching DDlg. I know personally for me DDlg is a huge commitment and it hurts when someone says they’re ready and want to only to have them back out or change their mind. She may be protecting herself. At the end of the day only she can tell you why she’s not submitting fully. We can only guess and it’ll never be accurate

[To****]

Yeah, that's one of the reasons. Other reasons could be that she is still new and is still discovering what it means to be a slave or she has not found the dynamic conducive to submission, like couldn't go from lil to sub heads pace.

[Do****]

8 minutes ago, LeoLoves said:

I am very confused by this post. You say you are vanilla yet you are sort of in a dynamic? Like is this just bedroom play or do you take it outside of the bedroom? Either way I would say you are not a vanilla guy and being on this app also makes it seem like you are not a vanilla guy. So maybe the real question is, How do you transition from calling yourself a vanilla guy to a kinkster/Lifestyler?

Search your local area or join an Online Munch, the both of you, talk to your community and get regular guidance? I highly recommend a mentor for you both to help figure out what it is you're looking for.

Well, don’t be confuse, I am here for your opinions not as a kinkster … she used to be here and thought will find the right advice

[Do****]

19 minutes ago, Shadow0071 said:

Well I'd take that openness and cherish it. Cause for some littles opening up like that takes a great amount of trust to do. And honestly to surprise her look into more ddlg and surprise her with a full little day or something. Cause I think and this is my opinion. She sees a very good daddy, and or caregiver in you

Ok, what’s a full little day? I do care about her and we having great time … she’s even asking me not to spank her anymore … she used to be whipped to bl**od … etc … ab*sed … etc

[Pa****]

A Little does not necessarily need to submit for a healthy DDLG relationship. Seek to understand where her Little originated, tell her you will protect it, allow her to come into little space naturally as you create that safe environment for her to trust. If she is feeling good with you then why seek to fix something that isn't broken?

[Do****]

8 minutes ago, TorontoDD said:

Yeah, that's one of the reasons. Other reasons could be that she is still new and is still discovering what it means to be a slave or she has not found the dynamic conducive to submission, like couldn't go from lil to sub heads pace.

She was a slave … got a permanent marking … etc … I am just the vanilla guy making her feel loved

[Sw****]

5 minutes ago, Dominus1010 said:

Ok, what’s a full little day? I do care about her and we having great time … she’s even asking me not to spank her anymore … she used to be whipped to bl**od … etc … ab*sed … etc

She might have just grown out of it. It happens. Just listen to what she's telling you and do that.

[Sw****]

Also not everyone wants to be in a hardcore kink relationship with someone they deeply deeply love. Some people love the Sex side but can't look at someone the same way after they've entered that sort of relationship. If she's telling you no, you listen. And you can communicate sensibly to ask why when it's suitable

[Do****]

13 minutes ago, Little-Brat-B said:

From the little information I’ve got maybe she’s not feeling 100% sure you want a full submission. If you haven’t had that conversation that you are open to exploring deeper you should have it. If you’re at all curious start researching DDlg. I know personally for me DDlg is a huge commitment and it hurts when someone says they’re ready and want to only to have them back out or change their mind. She may be protecting herself. At the end of the day only she can tell you why she’s not submitting fully. We can only guess and it’ll never be accurate

Shall I wait or just make a move talking about it … if I don’t spank her daily she’s getting bratty

[ve****]

As was mentioned earlier, we can only speculate about her decisions and motives. As a general rule I would advice you to approach these topics with curiosity and a learning mindset. There’s nothing you *should* do and when it comes to her what she did or did not do in the past will not dictate what she’ll want in the future.

Showing that you are willing to learn about this topic is first way of showing you care about her.

[Do****]

34 minutes ago, PaulKrendler said:

A Little does not necessarily need to submit for a healthy DDLG relationship. Seek to understand where her Little originated, tell her you will protect it, allow her to come into little space naturally as you create that safe environment for her to trust. If she is feeling good with you then why seek to fix something that isn't broken?

That’s brilliant, thanks 🙏

[Do****]

8 minutes ago, very-p said:

As was mentioned earlier, we can only speculate about her decisions and motives. As a general rule I would advice you to approach these topics with curiosity and a learning mindset. There’s nothing you *should* do and when it comes to her what she did or did not do in the past will not dictate what she’ll want in the future.

Showing that you are willing to learn about this topic is first way of showing you care about her.

I absolutely care and that’s why I am here, I really appreciate your input guys

[ey****]

Sometimes, people get into kink and maybe have some interests but then either think, or are told, they have to do or be a certain way and they end up down a path they're not happy with

when people are "used to be" it's often that that was a route they weren't overall happy going down

It may be if she has previous experience that this has helped her be good and open with communication with you.  But anything kinda you're wondering, the best answers is from asking her

[Da****]

She wants a Dom for her happiness and solitude. Educate yourself and open both of your worlds.

[nc****]

You earn submission its not owed.

Sounds like youre new and learning.

Listem to what she needs. Earn her submission

[sl****]

Need to start slow and work your way to that level. Just cuz she has done it with other guys doesn't me she will with you. It's all about trust and bounders.

[Ca****]

This is not the kind of thing you can waltz into all willy nilly. You really need to know what you're doing or it could go badly for both of you. 

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, nc712 said:

You earn submission its not owed.

Sounds like youre new and learning.

Listem to what she needs. Earn her submission

This.

Sounds like you are expecting her to submit without earning it. She doesn't owe you submission just because she did to others in her past.

Also a DDlg dynamic would be different than a slave dynamic and it sounds like youre not sure what you want from her.

Best advice.. learn the different dynamics, decide which one you want. Then earn it. Be upfront and honest with her about your expectations and goals.

[Ro****]

Her being open with you means she wants a stable connection with you. She's giving you the opportunity to decide if this something you want to be involved in. Keep in mind that the answer you are seeking, can vary from person to person and only true answer can only come from a conversation with her.She offered communication. Now it's your turn. Ask her what role she has in mind for you. Just because she did something for a previous partner, does not mean she's into it now. Also as a sub for 10 years I have had a few doms. Each dynamic was unique. Don't compare yourself to her past. Find your own part, wherever that may land.