Attire expected of a Dom...

[no****]

I'm not talking about clubs or dungeons, where there may be a dress code, but more about general life when kinky dating or playing, as well as in profile photos on here/Fet.

So I reeeeally don't feel myself in what most would consider "Dom" outfits suitable for public, suits, leather trousers/shirt etc. (even though I actually look good in a suit/shirt) . So I wear pretty casual clothing, cotton trousers, denim jackets, flannel shirts etc. And so, I can't help but get the feeling I'm not putting my Dom energy out there, and people dismiss the possibility of me being a Dom. Despite the fact that IMO it shouldn't have anything to do with appearance, and everything to do with personality amd mentality, which I have in spades. 

Does anyone else struggle with this kinda thing? The "seeming" vs "being", as it were?

[Th****]

Your attire is what you feel it. I think looking good is it. I have dominated in jeans and a wifebeater dress. You don’t have to wear what the stereotypical attire is. It is not always leather. Being a Dom/Domme is also your presence and what you give off.
Don’t look like a slob but dress to look good and feel good.

[TravellingDom71]

Most people have a preconceived notion of what they are looking for in a partner, the best thing you can do is be your authentic self, then the people you click with are probably looking for someone like you. Then all you need to do is break the ice and seduce them, easy right.

[Lo****]

I don't know, but isn't being a dom more a state of mind and an urge than appearances? I mean, if "they" dismiss you, pull out the (figurative) whip? My subs always know, when I am in charge, regardless of my attire, if any. And for the rest of the community: dare them to withstand a staring contest with a dom*me. If you are a dom, you are a dom.
That being said, if you need a certain set of clothes to get into character, please, by all means, go ahead. But bear in mind, everything you witness, everything you see, everything you believe to perceive is just happening in your head. If someone looked at you dismissively, chances are, they didn't mean you, but you misinterpreted their looking. Don't let yourself being fooled by your beautiful mind. Is it you questioning yourself in being dominant or am I totally missing the point?

[no****]

7 minutes ago, LordofthePit said:

I don't know, but isn't being a dom more a state of mind and an urge than appearances? I mean, if "they" dismiss you, pull out the (figurative) whip? My subs always know, when I am in charge, regardless of my attire, if any. And for the rest of the community: dare them to withstand a staring contest with a dom*me. If you are a dom, you are a dom.
That being said, if you need a certain set of clothes to get into character, please, by all means, go ahead. But bear in mind, everything you witness, everything you see, everything you believe to perceive is just happening in your head. If someone looked at you dismissively, chances are, they didn't mean you, but you misinterpreted their looking. Don't let yourself being fooled by your beautiful mind. Is it you questioning yourself in being dominant or am I totally missing the point?

Yeah missing the point unfortunately 😅 I'm questioning whether I should just do myself the favour and allow my Dom personality to be transmitted by wearing something more cliché, to make it abundantly clear. But I *** that would make me uncomfortable in my skin, which would ironically make me feel quite a bit less confident and dominant.

[Lo****]

7 minutes ago, noiseBoy said:

Yeah missing the point unfortunately 😅 I'm questioning whether I should just do myself the favour and allow my Dom personality to be transmitted by wearing something more cliché, to make it abundantly clear. But I *** that would make me uncomfortable in my skin, which would ironically make me feel quite a bit less confident and dominant.

Ok, let me rephrase. Why would you need to transmit being dominant through an outfit that (you might think) was cliché for doms? Do you need to dress like let's say Christian Grey to be transmitting dominance? What hinders you from transmitting dominance without this appearance?

[Yi****]

I agree with you. A long time ago a "hip dude" suggested I dress like the people I want to attract. I wear practical clothes then and now. And the multiple piercings fad just seems cheap, and not in a sexy way.

[no****]

5 minutes ago, LordofthePit said:

Ok, let me rephrase. Why would you need to transmit being dominant through an outfit that (you might think) was cliché for doms? Do you need to dress like let's say Christian Grey to be transmitting dominance? What hinders you from transmitting dominance without this appearance?

So I'd say that this is much more about the first impression, the hook, if you want. Once I've connected with people, it's no issue.

[Lo****]

8 minutes ago, noiseBoy said:

So I'd say that this is much more about the first impression, the hook, if you want. Once I've connected with people, it's no issue.

Ok, got it. First impressions are important, but I guess it depends on your community and their openness. Confidence, a winning smile and not giving any fucks can overcome any dress code, but if your community of choice is superficial, it will most likely stay superficial. If you feel uncomfortable in formal attire, don't wear it. Be authentic. Change the people you go to, not yourself.

[fi****]

Does being dominant even remotely tied to your clothes? The dungeon in Cleveland Ohio has no attire to be worn. Whatever is comfy. Dominance is exude in all manners subconsciously from how you carry your self to how you o retract with people. Is no an act or a thespian cloak to wear.

[AmandaMonsterLady]

Me. Personally I am more drawn to well groomed and well put together men. The “adult” look. Not sloppy or that they don’t care. Looks do matter. We are humans. Your look is the first thing people see and they judge. It says a lot.

[un****]

I love an undercover dom. I dress causally and love when my dom is in joggers, a T and runners - clean, hair well cut, cologne etc. it makes me hot to think that this seemingly easy going man is going to control the ***t out of me behind doors

[Deleted Member]

You know what they say: dress for the job you want.
Especially on a profile picture in a site like this because first impressions matter. When anyone is browsing for play partners the first thing they look at is your photo to see if there is an attraction. We're a vain society and there's no avoiding it.
As a sub I look at photo, then age, then distance and I actually read profiles to see what kind of person I am engaging with and if our kinks match.
You have a very well written profile that is enticing, but if you hadn't asked for feedback on here I would have passed it bc of your main profile picture (and distance). I recommend making your close up with the blue background your main photo - it's got the most likes and those eyes... ❤️‍🔥 🫦
As far as meeting in person that will depend on the relationship you establish with your sub. Personally I enjoy dressing up and roleplay, so wardrobe is a vital part of the scene for me. Do what works for you and the right sub will match your preferences.

[se****]

I like the little string thing I have..one is black other one glows in the dark

[Deleted Member]

You're going to get different answers from people depending on what they're looking for and what appeals to them. I do think dom energy as you call it emerges more from words than photos. I'd pay attention to the description in the profile, the username and any forum posts before I judged the gear.

[Ho****]

It’s more about how you carry yourself versus how you dress. That said; a proper dom should be well kept/groomed imho.

A good dom takes care of their sub so if they’re not taking care of themselves, no way they can deliver on the former.

[Or****]

When you are, you dont need to seem

[da****]

There’s no dressing like a dom sure people associate suits with dominance probably due to movies like 50 shades but they’ll always be able to tell form your no bulkshit energy or being assertive but then again some people are doms in bed and not doms in their daily life which is fine