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Questioning whether I am submissive


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I have always considered myself switch, but I really started questioning the submissive part of it.
I enjoy dirty talking and kind of ,,roleplaying,, being submissive through texts, voice messages and videocalls. But in real life me being submissive always looked more like me telling my partner exactly what I want him to do to me. We did only things I liked and just to the point I found them pleasant and very comfortable, literally no discomfort for me. I enjoy name calling and such but looking back at it it was me telling the partner what to do the partner was not really dominating me since I always had everything under control. Like faking being dominated if that makes sense.
I hate the idea of not knowing what the partner would do to me or getting *** or feeling discomfort during sex and related activities. Like I said I enjoy being name called and ,,dominated,, to the extent of it being pleasant, enjoyable and totally under my control. Much more just dirty talking about being submissive (even when having sex) and not really doing it.
Does that mean I am not submissive at all?



Or you're a submissive that knows what they want. "Topping from the bottom" or maybe you're a switch.


I always considered myself submissive. I am, for the right person, but I know what i want, not afraid to go after it. A dominant that enjoys "receiving"


Personally, I'd not bother with labels.

Is it fun? Consensual? 

If it works... embrace it.


I think you need to take charge and see if you get pleasure from being in total control


I enjoy having all the control, but I still don't do things my partner wouldn't be okay with. In fact, I tend to almost exclusively do the things they would appreciate the most. Does that mean I'm not dominant? I don't think so. At the end of the day, everything still has to be consensual. My partners know safe word is law, so they don't have to do anything they aren't comfortable with. Just because I'm exercising all the control doesn't mean they can't take it back in an instant. It's all built on trust. My partners voluntarily put themselves in *** positions with me, and they trust me not to *** that. Does that mean they're not submissive? I don't think so. Being submissive doesn't mean being ***d into things you're not okay with.

If you feel like you're the one pulling the strings. Maybe that's something else. Maybe you're not submissive. Or maybe you are submissive, or you want to be sometimes, but it doesn't feel real because your partner isn't that dominant and is just doing what you want instead of exercising their own control. Only you can tell.


Could it be that you're scared to be fully submissive? A normal and common feeling, have you tried gradually losing control with little things, even simply being orally pleasured, with material layed over your eyes but not secured in anyway, perhaps holding it their with your hands, but discussed before hand, so he knows exactly what you are both trying


I'd say topping from the bottom is a switchy / Dom thing but,  as has been said, if it works for you.

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