How hard is it REALLY to find a dominant woman for life? (FLR / lifestyle femdom edition)

[T0****]

Cont....
I could really use some hope on that front right about now .....

[Su****]

I’ve been struggling with this as well. I can’t seem to get responses, but I understand that female dommes are in high demand. My introductions are respectful and not sexual in any way. I guess looking for a virtual relationship to start with makes it even more difficult. My plan is to participate in chats and forum posts here and try to organically build a network. So I guess to start I’m not even looking for a domme, just cool people that I can vibe with. I’m hoping that will be enough to meet someone. We will see.

[la****]

Personally I get a lot of requests from subs this leads to a kind of basic checklist for those I will reply to unfortunately as I’m not able to reply to every single one. I’ll look at initial message and if you have more kinks I don’t have plenty of knowledge or for some experience then kinks I am use to then I will unfortunately more than likely not reply. I also tend to look at distance and if your to far to meet with at some point then I may pass on you though for the most part I will atleast converse first to see wether I feel an online connection would work. If I pass on a person it’s because I 100% think that there’s someone else that would be a better match and I would hate to waste your time in an unsatisfactory relationship with me. I’m a pleasure domme and I’d hate to waste someone’s time or not fulfil their hopes properly and safely.

[Ja****]

5 hours ago, lalana00 said:

Personally I get a lot of requests from subs this leads to a kind of basic checklist for those I will reply to unfortunately as I’m not able to reply to every single one. I’ll look at initial message and if you have more kinks I don’t have plenty of knowledge or for some experience then kinks I am use to then I will unfortunately more than likely not reply. I also tend to look at distance and if your to far to meet with at some point then I may pass on you though for the most part I will atleast converse first to see wether I feel an online connection would work. If I pass on a person it’s because I 100% think that there’s someone else that would be a better match and I would hate to waste your time in an unsatisfactory relationship with me. I’m a pleasure domme and I’d hate to waste someone’s time or not fulfil their hopes properly and safely.

Step by step and Logic...thats Hot...i guess, you drowning in messages 😉🤭👍
...
To man, If you ASK for this and that... maybe...reduce it to the Minimum you absolutely and realy need.

[ow****]

tbh i think to find a real dom who isn’t a fake or like some scammer from another country not from where they said they was from i.e uk (which i’ve had a lot and i know this because of ip addresses)
i think it’s impossible
i’ve never met a dom that is real in my two years looking and searching and in the kink space until recently

i learnt a lot from the fake doms in kinks but they always end up as a cat fish or like begging for *** and then trying to black mail and all this crap and you learn over time how to spot the fakes from the real which there’s not many real doms so it’s luck sometimes

i think for a new sub in this space there’s lots to learn but also there’s to many who try and catch the newbies and basically scam them for *** via contracts or tributes or black mail

i find men doms are best but tbh i prefer a female dom
but females are hard to find who are dominant

[us****]

10% hehe

[On****]

Being a Domme is tough, as there is so much contact from all types, but we have to be honest if a sub isn’t a basic match. I answer every message politely though

[Ve****]

my deep respects to those Dommes who do answer every message – from the small amount of FemDoms i know that aspiration is often there. Another reason to not blindly and generically write to every female dominant profile one comes across. 

There is something else I want to talk about and it will arrive in my next post – maybe it will not arrive becaue it will be controversial towards our host. 

[Ve****]

i was talking about the imbalance male sub and FemDom.

Just a few days ago i found another statistic of one of the small'ish Swiss BDSM Communities and the numbers more or less matches the number of aellas blog (you'll have to find it yourselfs aella . substack* look for "Fetish Tabooness and Popularity (v3)") – she has the biggest sample worldwide, 'n' over 500'000 so those numbers are reliable to some degree, not like some of the ivory-twoer "studies" with n=75. 

*****

Edited February 20 by CaraVirt
Parts of this post were removed due to off-topic content + external link removed

[ow****]

you have confused me

[Sa****]

First & foremost, if you are going to be in a dynamic relationship, be aware that a certain amount of effort is needed to maintain a healthy relationship. i.e. Communication is paramount to keep the bond secure. A dynamic is not a game, or something to help pass your time. Please remember that your dynamic partner is a person with feelings, & needs, just like you.

[Sp****]

I've been fortunate enough to have two different flr relationships that expanded over a combined of 7 years but I've been single for four and it's driving me crazy

[ey****]

9 hours ago, VeeTee said:

(you'll have to find it yourselfs aella . substack* look for "Fetish Tabooness and Popularity (v3)")

I've got the blog open and have no idea how you've got some form of ratio out of the data - especially as it seems to be about deemed taboo fetishes and how many people are into them 

[Ve****]

I wanted to make a completely different point but that part got censored. 
@eyemblacksheep unfortunately when I go deeper into Aellas Data (in another thread) I got censored too.
So… you're on your own.
Maybe this is allowed: she offers the raw Data for downloand so you can do your own analysis.
The results are more or less congruent with other numbers thrown around but slightly better. 

So the bigger picture is not as bad as it seems. 

[ey****]

I think it's often difficult a lot also as - well - bigger datasets are often better providing it's the right sort of data.  But also the right questions and anaylsis, and honest answers

The foot fetish one is always a good one because it suggests 1 in 7 men have a foot fetish, but when you analyse it - it was something like 1 in 7 from a small dataset had ever had a fantasy involving feet. Which is not really the same thing

And this is also true when we get into roles because for example - the age old argument that - men will dismiss a lot of women who self identify as Dommes as not being "real" for whatever reason, whilst also inflating how many mens who would self identify is submissive, actually are.  

It's a big issue getting the right sort of data

[Q_****]

It is difficult for a Dom to find a proper sub-partner as well. Plenty of subs, but all what you mentioned above is really valid, it has to be a human being who doesn’t treat a woman as his kink dispenser but as another human being being and understanding what is true submission is. This is not easy to find even in playful dynamic so for lifestyle even more hard.

[APerfectTool]

Honestly I have never met a dominant woman in life. However I was able to... I want to say "convince" but that feels bad... I'll just anecdote drop

I told her I am a weirdo and mentioned massaging feet, sucking on toes, and a strong desire to have a woman kick me in the balls many many times.

She said her feet were to ticklish for a massage, and probably toe sucking as well. As for the kicking in the balls she basically said she couldn't do that.

Regardless we kept talking. We took our hour lunch at the same time, and drove to a nearby empty parking lot (overnight shift) and she let me try and massage her feet in the back seat of the car. As it turns out I love giving foot massages and have even been told my massages are magical so she found she really liked it even letting me remove her socks to continue after not being tickled even slightly.

With that I asked if maybe now she would try having her toes sucked for the first time and she agreed. Turns out she absolutely loved the feeling and was highly surprised by that.

While massaging and toe sucking and talking I explained more about kicking my balls and how I didn't expect her to just come out full on power kicking, I wanted her to be comfortable at all time throughout and move at her own pace. I suggested just putting her foot between my legs, poke around, add a little pressure, just do whatever she was comfortable doing as she grew more comfortable with it. She poked and pressed and really didn't get anything until she asked me and I moved her foot so her front pad rested on top of my balls and she gently pushed down a bit. Then lunch was over.

A few days later she stops by my house after work before heading home. It ends up with her sitting in my computer chair and me on my knees, legs spread. She gives gentle tap of a kicks now more comfortable but still completely unsure about this. I don't remember how buy I got her to take her pants off and allow me to make her orgasm. (Suprise she says its basically impossible for her)
Regardless her still in chair i begin orally pleasing her risen up on my knees a bit I feel her foot kick my balls harder than she has yet to do, causing me to lean forward slightly into her and lick faster and harder like I was a horse she had just spurred into action. 10 minutes but I made her orgasm to her surprise again and she had kicked my balls pretty decently hard and multiple times.

She would later kick me until I was covering and closing my legs only for her to push them apart and pull my hands away for more. Which I had mentioned to her before and she did it on her own one night.

She actually found all of it fun and had never considered any of these things. Even being a unsure about even doing them once brought up to her. Simply by me expressing my desire for them but not pushing her, easing her into the more intense parts, reassuring her and making sure she was comfortable in everything she did as she discovered something new at her own pace.

Basically expecting a dominant woman to just appear is a bit crazy to me. You are better off just dating people, eventually explaining what you like, why you like it, and that you would love for them to do them. Then don't push and pester them to do it. Still talk about it but don't be overbearing.

As long as they don't say absolutely not, never happening, though in my experience when they say that they usually don't stay much longer anyways, hopefully the person you are dating has an open mind, wants to do something that will please you, and finds that theu actually really enjoy this thing you introduced them to and would never have known otherwise. I've had it happen a few times and im an extreme introvert hermit master that hasn't dated a ton, so if I can so can you.

TL;DR: Don't expect to find a dominant woman, go introduce some women to femdom. Most don't know they like it and never even tried it out.

[lo****]

I would very much be open to a long term relationship with a sub
I find most online are only interested in short term. That’s fine for me for now but at some point I’d like to have something long term we can both grow into.