First time Dominant long time sub

[su****]

hello, long time sub here. so long that it’s part of my dna. if you are about to serve a Dominant that is new to the lifestyle, how do you go about making suggestions where it doesn’t seem like you are trying to top from the bottom, but truly trying to help build the relationship?

[BeMyPaleBitch_]

True dominance comes from within… I feel like if they need “suggestions” then that particular role might not be for them. Good luck to you and your “dom” though 💕

[ye****]

I think conversations about the dynamics outside of play in a safe space or situation and leaving ideas or suggestions open ended. So you aren’t planning every detail just general things or ideas that are discussed in width the limits you both currently have. Knowing what each other is comfortable with will help both you and the dom craft and grow your relationship.

They could also be a service sub and being a dom for you as that is the service that you need. Which what @BeMyPaleBitch_ said would then 100% be true.

[ey****]

it depends kind of how new and also what they are looking from.  You can demonstrate ways you can improve their life

take them to local munches so they can meet others in their ***r group to learn from so they're getting a variety of info that isn't just for you

there is also never any harm in suggestions and feedback which helps them

[Je****]

As a submissive myself I found when I dated someone long term that wasn’t a Dom I wrote out, or reposted scenes or scenarios that I wanted played out. I did this through an online forum where it wasn’t directed at him, but he read everything I posted, and over time as he was comfortable he would fulfill the things I wanted or needed. We communicated directly too of course, but this way made it easier for him to ‘be in charge’. I’d say for some people he could very much fulfill a soft/pleasure/Daddy Dom role, ultimately for me, I knew this wasn’t a natural desire for him and didn’t come naturally to him. On the flip side as a submissive I’ve taken a Domme role or simply been ‘in charge’ however this too was not natural for me at all. I’d say as a submissive any role I personally would take as a Domme is still really me being submissive and fulfilling their needs, so maybe if you look at it as your instructions are to be in charge, it will come easier knowing you’re still ultimately in a submissive role, just in a different way.

[fl****]

5 hours ago, Jennwith2Nns said:

As a submissive myself I found when I dated someone long term that wasn’t a Dom I wrote out, or reposted scenes or scenarios that I wanted played out. I did this through an online forum where it wasn’t directed at him, but he read everything I posted, and over time as he was comfortable he would fulfill the things I wanted or needed. We communicated directly too of course, but this way made it easier for him to ‘be in charge’. I’d say for some people he could very much fulfill a soft/pleasure/Daddy Dom role, ultimately for me, I knew this wasn’t a natural desire for him and didn’t come naturally to him. On the flip side as a submissive I’ve taken a Domme role or simply been ‘in charge’ however this too was not natural for me at all. I’d say as a submissive any role I personally would take as a Domme is still really me being submissive and fulfilling their needs, so maybe if you look at it as your instructions are to be in charge, it will come easier knowing you’re still ultimately in a submissive role, just in a different way.

The way you went about this reminds me of how a woman drops something in front of the man she likes in order to give him a reason to go up to her. Well put little lady.

[Je****]

5 hours ago, flamtam said:

The way you went about this reminds me of how a woman drops something in front of the man she likes in order to give him a reason to go up to her. Well put little lady.

Why thank you! Was an enjoyable relationship for 18 months, ultimately I wanted more, but we have remained friends for many years, and he found his person 🖤