Why is it so hard for others to accept a compliment

[MasterTalathian47342]

Why is it so hard for people to accept a compliment without feeling like a person is hitting on them?

About a week and a half ago I sent a person a message that stated "Very lovely photos. Artistic poses and great setting. Have a good day. " I had not sent anything else in the intervening time and did not request a response or any other contact.

I was not trying to hit on them or pick them up. I specified that I liked their photos. That was it. Ended it by stating have a good day. I received a rudish response in return.

I understand many people (unfortunately men are the largest part) hit on people no matter what the profile says or expect submissives to call them Sir or whatever right away. Other things of this nature as well.

However, and this is not the first time a response like this happened, I just don't understand when people stopped being able to take a compliment as a compliment. I could understand if i was being rude or something like that or stepping over boundaries but I didn't. In this instance I just complimented the photos and moved on.

I had another where the person had a non- sexual question in their profile and I sent an answer to that question and was rudely told that they didn't want to talk to an old man like me and to leave them alone which I did. I didn't even respond to their reply. There was nothing sexual stated or requested just a simple reply to a general question they asked on their profile.

I am just trying to understand why people react the way they do. When did this change in the lifestyle?

[fa****]

I get them all the time and all they want is the D! Oh, wait...no i don't. But we ALL know who does 🤣

[de****]

Over the lifestyle i can not give a opinion cause i recently steped into this life style, but general speaking people are more stressed and overstimulated by al the short dopamine burst they got from endlessly scrolling. The most are not aware of that this is even happening cause a whole generation is raised by those standards. Recently some study been published about the 'harm' of those fast incentives on the brain. What came about is because oure brain is so overwhelmed by those incentives we go subconscious back to oure primal instincts.
That means at least in my opinion that processing in context is not really done so the "reaction" you got back is from primal thinking . (Danger - love ect ect) without a deeper layer of thoughts and has nothing to do personal.
They just bounce around to the next rush or shocking incentive.

Ps keep in mind that those algorithms are in place to keep people's attention not there well being.

Hope i give you a perspective:-)
Enjoy youre day

[Sh****]

Narcissism for the most part. If someone is "hot enough for them", they will react over the top to compliments.
If someone is "not hot enough for them" they will have an ego trip and "reject" you in a condescending way, signaling that they (think!!! That they) are higher value than you.

It's either that or extremely poor manners and a horrible stuck up attitude.

Either way, I find it an amazing way to save yourself some time and energy by not dealing with these mentally unstable individuals.

All that is assuming that the compliment was appropriate on all levels.

[Scuba_fetishist]

So many the same, not just here either. I've sent loads of respectful messages, comments, compliments and either the message is left unread, it's read and ignored, or deleted without response. Fine, they don't owe me a response and I sometimes write that in the message, that I don't expect a response but manners should surely prompt a response. I often think of how the scene would be in the street. Give some compliments or as something and the recipient look you up and down and walks away without an acknowledgement. Sadly, manners and warmth are rare in this entitled society we live in now. Blessing really....who wants to converse with a rude twat anyway. Block and move along.

[Sh****]

Oh and another thing!
A healthy individual with manners will say something like " thank you but you are not my type" or something roughly along these lines.
That's the healthy rejection. You can see how huge the difference is between the two types of answers/people.

[Subbyjohn1973]

You can't complain when you don't have a photo.

[ri****]

Because you're already picking a person based off their looks have substance. Hey beautiful isn't a compliment either. That's how you greet your significant other. Just my opinion.

[Ne****]

I think there are a number of reasons people have difficulty with compliments. I find that, recognizing aspects of someone’s profile, noting what there looking for, desires, and the specifics that speak to their person. Expressing vulnerability and asking for consent. Ex: hey I really appreciate how much intention you put into your profile. I totally agree with A B C. I know I can simply heart your photos, but i wanted to check in and see if you if I could give you a compliment.

Other possible reasons:

There are some people, especially woman who get so many compliments and shitty messages that they might not even have the capacity for another.

Some times people are having a bad day.

I imagine “Lovely photos” is an extremely common compliment. I think taking the time to introduce yourself and adding in additional language might be more welcomed. Like, hey I’m (……) I just came across your profile. Respectfully, I just wanted to say that your photos are extraordinary and have an artistic flare to them. Although you have a short and sweet profile, I gotta say your photos are both lovely and intriguing.

Maybe the person just realized they had been talking to a bot for 3 days.

[ri****]

1 hour ago, NeuroUnidiverse said:

I think there are a number of reasons people have difficulty with compliments. I find that, recognizing aspects of someone’s profile, noting what there looking for, desires, and the specifics that speak to their person. Expressing vulnerability and asking for consent. Ex: hey I really appreciate how much intention you put into your profile. I totally agree with A B C. I know I can simply heart your photos, but i wanted to check in and see if you if I could give you a compliment.

Other possible reasons:

There are some people, especially woman who get so many compliments and shitty messages that they might not even have the capacity for another.

Some times people are having a bad day.

I imagine “Lovely photos” is an extremely common compliment. I think taking the time to introduce yourself and adding in additional language might be more welcomed. Like, hey I’m (……) I just came across your profile. Respectfully, I just wanted to say that your photos are extraordinary and have an artistic flare to them. Although you have a short and sweet profile, I gotta say your photos are both lovely and intriguing.

Maybe the person just realized they had been talking to a bot for 3 days.

We know our photos look good. We picked them. We aren't looking for your validation. The fact you swipe right or speak shows your interested. Have substance. Be able to hold a conversation. Pick something in the profile and ask more about it.

[Deleted Member]

80 PERCENT of the entire internet land scape is nothing but " narcissistic sockpuppet ego stroking strawmen 💯'. A small group of people with tones of FAKE PROFILES POSTING AND THEN FALSELY PUFFING there ego w/fake profile pretending to be someone else in actuality its the same person/friend responding to there own pic/post. To gaslight, promote, belittle and make everyone else look stupid and unimportant. That's not that hard to see if you look to comments they will only like a select few comments from a select few individuals. Here comes the hate. Good bye

[Ni****]

I bet if she was interested in you her reply would have been different!
Maybe the problem is being able to accept a compliment with no expectations.

You are a photographer and likely really did admire the photos! Maybe next time include that you are a photographer in your comment.

I recently received a compliment from a man who was cross dressing (his words not mine)
He immediately told me he knows we aren’t a match but he wanted to compliment my weight loss success. I thanked him. He was super kind! We chatted a little.

It was a nice interaction. I hope you get kinder interactions here in the future!

[Fu****]

Unfortunately some people have bad manners that speak to their up bring and not your comments

[Se****]

But you kind of are overstepping boundaries. A public photo is public, if you then feel you want to comment your comment/compliment ought to also be public. A photo is not an invitation for you to enter someone’s inbox to provide what YOU deem to be a compliment. It isn’t about a change in the lifestyle, it’s about understanding where and when it is appropriate to comment or to send a message. If the photo encourages you to visit their profile and something therein intrigues you and gives you cause to reach out the by all means, provided their profile doesn’t indicate otherwise, do so and mention it was their photos that directed you to their profile. People can also accept compliments without necessarily replying to you or acknowledging your compliment - to think that they owe you a response or “manners” speaks more to the person sending the message than the person receiving it who didn’t ask for it in the first place.

I am fully aware that this isn’t the response you wanted to hear. I am also fully aware that this is only my opinion and that others disagree.

[PresentisPeculiar]

It's a volume game...if the last 20 times a guy does that, he turns aggressive and then ultimately insulting because he feels he was do something for being a nice guy... It's going to make it really hard for them to sit through and figure out that you, Mr 21, mean it. I mean we all know the horror of what men initially message on these apps... Just going to read some of the other posts on these chats. Be a normal question about do people go to King the first day or all that kind of stuff and it'll be arrive guys will be like "don't care about all that. just wanna shove my cock down your throa.'. We just need to have a new approach, one that addresses the unspoken concerns immediately. Also can't just say "hey have a nice guy I want this and so I'm good to have this being treated like a nice guy". Not how the world works lm

[PresentisPeculiar]

3 hours ago, SerendipitousKeeper said:

But you kind of are overstepping boundaries. A public photo is public, if you then feel you want to comment your comment/compliment ought to also be public. A photo is not an invitation for you to enter someone’s inbox to provide what YOU deem to be a compliment. It isn’t about a change in the lifestyle, it’s about understanding where and when it is appropriate to comment or to send a message. If the photo encourages you to visit their profile and something therein intrigues you and gives you cause to reach out the by all means, provided their profile doesn’t indicate otherwise, do so and mention it was their photos that directed you to their profile. People can also accept compliments without necessarily replying to you or acknowledging your compliment - to think that they owe you a response or “manners” speaks more to the person sending the message than the person receiving it who didn’t ask for it in the first place.

I am fully aware that this isn’t the response you wanted to hear. I am also fully aware that this is only my opinion and that others disagree.

My first contact is usually about a photo because j love photos that show personality. And you know then when you see them. To make sure it started there but then is their move, I'll say " I really love your profile pic the whole set was really good. Looking like you were having a lot of fun ...probably a good story t there...it looks like you were with pople that you enjoy.
This is where I'll step out. I'm sure you're box is full with guys sending messages. I just wanted to say I enjoy the photos , so...feel free to read my bio and ask me question anything. But until then ill be out of her frame k I'll be lusomewhere nearby"

[PresentisPeculiar]

13 hours ago, Shrekk said:

Oh and another thing!
A healthy individual with manners will say something like " thank you but you are not my type" or something roughly along these lines.
That's the healthy rejection. You can see how huge the difference is between the two types of answers/people.

Problem is there's far too many unhealthy people who will then start pushing them why is that I don't think I have enough *** for you or I'm sure you don't find me attractive cuz I look like I have a life s***. People get very bizarre rejection and women have spent their whole life actually ***ing physical and knowing that I mental *** is probably the lightest they get away. This isn't about the one person this is about the whole

[PresentisPeculiar]

Some of my answers are un readable. Sorry about that. I have some auto Bondo epoxy on my phone from a bumper repair I'm doing 2 my car yand it causes buttons to hit or not hit with no particular regularity so it kind of sounds like I'm having a stroke and some of those answers above. It'll be fixed tonight when I clean this off

[bo****]

If you can't accept a comment from anyone that offers it then get off of social media, and never leave your house or talk to anyone, we don't need you in the gene pool anyways. 🤣

[wo****]

3 hours ago, SerendipitousKeeper said:

But you kind of are overstepping boundaries. A public photo is public, if you then feel you want to comment your comment/compliment ought to also be public. A photo is not an invitation for you to enter someone’s inbox to provide what YOU deem to be a compliment. It isn’t about a change in the lifestyle, it’s about understanding where and when it is appropriate to comment or to send a message. If the photo encourages you to visit their profile and something therein intrigues you and gives you cause to reach out the by all means, provided their profile doesn’t indicate otherwise, do so and mention it was their photos that directed you to their profile. People can also accept compliments without necessarily replying to you or acknowledging your compliment - to think that they owe you a response or “manners” speaks more to the person sending the message than the person receiving it who didn’t ask for it in the first place.

I am fully aware that this isn’t the response you wanted to hear. I am also fully aware that this is only my opinion and that others disagree.

But you kind of are overstepping boundaries.
———
My reply-
Yeah, no. An inbox is not a “boundary” it is an open door.
——-
A photo is not an invitation for you to enter someone’s inbox to provide what YOU deem to be a compliment.
————
My reply-
A photo is not a “keep out” sign either. Communication is a two way street. This kind of after the fact proclamation asserted by YOU comes across as chastising.

That’s especially problematic given that there are billions of people in the world and there are a wide variety of differing boundaries and preferences spread out across them.

You know your boundaries and preferences, and those of some of the people you know. You cannot say with specificity what strangers’ boundaries and preferences are anymore than anyone else can.
—————-
It isn’t about a change in the lifestyle, it’s about understanding where and when it is appropriate to comment or to send a message.
——————-
No. What is ‘appropriate’ is for people to behave reasonably, to follow your instructions as to the particular course of action If you have boundaries it’s your responsibility to express them. It’s no one’s responsibility to mind read.

[PresentisPeculiar]

19 minutes ago, bobinfrapples said:

If you can't accept a comment from anyone that offers it then get off of social media, and never leave your house or talk to anyone, we don't need you in the gene pool anyways. 🤣

That's ridiculous... You make a populist reward while ignoring all the reasons that have been given. It's not about not being able to accept a compliment it's about how many times out of 10 that compliment if accepted is followed by something that is crass. You are not due an expectation of a response from anybody. That's not how s***ch works. Everyone has their own filters from their own personal feelings, and basically saying so much to be wiped off the freaking face of the earth because there's fed up with a certain type of person getting s***** on them if they make that first thank you, with not a second of experience in their shoes... So many feels wrapped up in a diatribe

Why so worried about someone that doesn't want to give you the time of day? F***.. I miss competitive as anyone can be in this place I guarantee you probably more competitive than any of you in all things... And still I can deal with someone isn't interested. Why the hell would you want a response from someone who isn't? It's all about your own ego My God Just move on

[Go****]

i love a thoughtful compliment or comment, but straight sexual connotation even as a joke, makes me wary

[MasterTalathian47342]

18 hours ago, Shrekk said:

Narcissism for the most part. If someone is "hot enough for them", they will react over the top to compliments.
If someone is "not hot enough for them" they will have an ego trip and "reject" you in a condescending way, signaling that they (think!!! That they) are higher value than you.

It's either that or extremely poor manners and a horrible stuck up attitude.

Either way, I find it an amazing way to save yourself some time and energy by not dealing with these mentally unstable individuals.

All that is assuming that the compliment was appropriate on all levels.

As I stated it was a simple I like your photos basically. Nothing more.

[MasterTalathian47342]

18 hours ago, Shrekk said:

Oh and another thing!
A healthy individual with manners will say something like " thank you but you are not my type" or something roughly along these lines.
That's the healthy rejection. You can see how huge the difference is between the two types of answers/people.

Oh believe me I know. I am an amature photographer and some specific photos catch my eye because of creativity, lighting, etc. I give a simple compliment and go about my business. Very very few have even reacted to a compliment, very very few even respond one way or another, majority is a negative response. The ones that don't react I leave alone. The ones that do respond with a thank you i give a you're welcome and move on. The negative I block.

[JackJonesHull]

I have found a similar reaction to my idle comments. It is not particularly in my nature to be hitting on someone without first getting to know them somewhat, even then only when there's some indication that it may be welcomed. So it is with a certain level of amusement that I discover comments I do make, usually humourously, are met with a block.