Learning Styles, Platforms, and Being New to Kink

[JusticeForHJ]

Hello all,

I have introduced myself by the way, as linked below.

My question today is about having sort of remained in the learning phase for BDSM. This relates to communication and how people engage as a substitute, or perhaps before meeting at in-person spaces (munches, events, one to one meetups, etc.). What I'm tying to understand is about how different styles of interaction are typically facilitated through different platforms, like this website. Does that impact those of us who don't naturally thrive on fast, public or performative exchanges?

Some spaces, not this site, but another seem to be more geared up towards attributes like wit/being quick on your feet, through confident and short comments, while being very public and bold in how you present yourself (proud extroversion). Other spaces like this one feel conversational in a more human way and less emphasis on the different "-isms" but the direction doesn't really seem to lend itself towards more abstract expression. I remember the group chat used to be emphasised over forum participation, I'm not sure if that is still the case.

I don't necessarily feel in the right depth anywhere, so as someone that is really quite inexperienced when it comes to BDSM (and relationships, actually), I am wondering if this (me hitting my head against the wall):

- is just part of the learning curve, not a genuine mismatch in communication style

- means some platforms are better suited to a less analytical approach, or if it is analytical doing so with a very specific, high confidence and outwardly driven manner

- means newer people can still navigate the different communication strategies in the scene (with a focus on beginning online)

I am seeking perspectives from people who have had similar hiccups or had to overcome barriers like these and figured out where they actually are, versus where they thought they were. What helped if you didn't really benefit much from in-person events?

[LADY_GRIMM]

I'm new to the sites, community, and the kinky world. Dom Sub Living on YouTube has been my go to and has helped me so much! They have an amazing community and lots of incredible information.