How to resolve past trust issues in BDSM

[ge****]

Nowadays, I have noticed that a lot of people have these traumas from previous relationships. How can we resolve them because in a Dom/Sub relationship, it takes a lot for a partner to trust another one? What are the top few things we can do in the beginning of a relationship to make things smooth and successful?

[Fr****]

It definitely takes recovery time after a traumatic experience in a relationship. Im going on 8 months and im still not ready to enter a new relationship, but im trying. And it will have to be slow going for me with someone who's going to be gentle, who will listen and let me be heard. Someone who will understand that I can't live 24/7 dom/sub anymore.

[ey****]

A lot would depend entirely on the nature of the trauma, and remember we're not psychologists.

A common thing mind would be patience, accepting it would/should take time for someone to build up trust 

[cl****]

Bdsm is not therapy. It can be the***utic but it does not replace professionally trained support. Trauma can be present yes but if it is the main driver and isn't being addressed, I would say that creates safety issues. This can look like addiction issues, finding a dominant to self harm using another person etc

[my****]

I’ve been cheated on by two girls and in my last relationship I made a conscious choice to believe her, whatever she said. I was happier for it. You could get taken advantage of, but to me it was worth that risk by always second guessing her and watching for angles on every conversation. That’s exhausting.

[Xplosivrob]

Yeah. This happens an awful lot. Its especially an issue when im wanting to find a bratty little. -> fantastic online and the best of clicks. In person its a different matter. Very closed.

As a protective dom it jarring, as ive invested lots of time (as i should) and now feel powerless to help this human who is a totally different person in front of me.

So frustrating, especially when I see huge potential.

[cl****]

4 hours ago, Xplosivrob said:

Yeah. This happens an awful lot. Its especially an issue when im wanting to find a bratty little. -> fantastic online and the best of clicks. In person its a different matter. Very closed.

As a protective dom it jarring, as ive invested lots of time (as i should) and now feel powerless to help this human who is a totally different person in front of me.

So frustrating, especially when I see huge potential.

Arguably online interactions are not rea its not the same as being in front of a whole person whose behaviour and reactions can't be mediated thru a screen