Earning her submission

[mo****]

WOW, where is the flagman...??? Ido Hope he has a really humongous red flag🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[Go****]

I’d be interested to hear how you see dominance and submission working within the real world?

[Deleted Member]

Well I personally never have started out saying that. If a guy thinks I will just allow him to Dominate me instantly then he doesn’t understand submission. The Dom should make you feel comfortable about letting go and allowing him to take over. That takes conversations and understanding. In no situation would I look at a person and just submit.

[Deleted Member]

You’re poking at the wrong girls my guy. Being dom regardless of male or female, requires explicit communication not what you can see with your own eyes. People get in trouble because they assume what other people mean by their actions🤷‍♂️

[FE****]

MODERATOR NOTE:

ALL POSTS AND ALL COMMENTS in the Kink Academy are moderated.  DO NOT repost your comment just because you haven't seen it appear YET.

All that does is create even more work for the moderators having to delete the dupes.

 

In addition, the OP has NOT deleted any replies; they don't have the ability to do so (see above for where they go to).

Finally, this post was allowed on purpose as it's important for dangerous views to be aired and 'the person 'educated'.  Otherwise people who share his viewpoint but may not post it will continue to retain it and also never learn.

[Deleted Member]

59 minutes ago, FtM_ShyPup said:

Submission requires trust because you need to feel safe to submit too many "doms" want power but no responsibility. I use to just submit but I was almost killed by a fake dom who didn't have any experience and tried to strangle me with his full forearm.

So now submission is earned for my own safety I've had too many fake doms put my health and safety at risk.

Fake and uneducated Doms is the quote I love of yours. So many piped up after 50 Shades of Grey. Smh. We subs go way back before that movie Sir! Do some research. We are a wanted and honored group of people who have served for centuries.

[Deleted Member]

By the way, understand derives from expectance, only the wise can challenge the status quo.

[Deleted Member]

Wish you good luck. You need some training. Maybe do a little more reading on how to be a dominant the proper way

[Te****]

I think what the female actually wants is just the feeling of being wanted and feeling pretty. It's not submission she wants she wants to be used nice and nasty and be bossed and told what to do. To be bombarded with you're attention.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, TeapotandD1990 said:

I think what the female actually wants is just the feeling of being wanted and feeling pretty. It's not submission she wants she wants to be used nice and nasty and be bossed and told what to do. To be bombarded with you're attention.

Agree.

[Jp****]

I think dudes gooned up on watching porn hub ,lonely fans and believes what we do safely on set is real life ….. it’s just paid out produced fantasy where every thing happens on Que and is edited …… yes it’s not real it’s like Santa clause 

Edited February 24 by stepper_5656

[Ge****]

What about all the fake Doms. Who expect the woman before even meeting to send pics engages in dirty phone sex and all sorts. These Fake Doms think Submissive woman are easy lays, Wrong. Bad mistake! They forget. WHOEVER gives can take away, the Submissive gives her body willingly to her chosen Dom she can also take it away and theres nothing he can do about it. So I ask Who is really in control ???

[Deleted Member]

Submission is earned in my opinion because with submission come vulnerability. I'm not about to drop my boundaries and vulnerability just because you say so... It's a mutual understanding of consently giving and taking. Not trying to sound crass but if you don't think it's earned and must be automatically given to you...then what makes you different from an ***r that takes things by ***? I feel safer with my submission when my Dom respects it and cherish it as a privilege than an obligation.

[Al****]

1 hour ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said:

I’d be interested to hear how you see dominance and submission working within the real world?

Not sure if it would be worth your time to be honest

[Deleted Member]

7 minutes ago, ThePleasureDom70 said:

What about all the fake Doms. Who expect the woman before even meeting to send pics engages in dirty phone sex and all sorts. These Fake Doms think Submissive woman are easy lays, Wrong. Bad mistake! They forget. WHOEVER gives can take away, the Submissive gives her body willingly to her chosen Dom she can also take it away and theres nothing he can do about it. So I ask Who is really in control ???

I honestly think that sub is apparently more in control.

[Fi****]

I found that most are fake Dom, they just use to get access to women’s body. Lots of them are jerks.

[ph****]

🛑🛑🛑🛑🛑🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

This post is a HUGE red flag. Submitting to a Dom is the submissive's choice. Demanding submission or saying submission is based on looks alone is ridiculous. Giving up control is not as easy as "you're cute, Dominate me". Giving up control requires a feeling of safety and trust.

If this is truly how you feel about Domination and submission, I feel sorry for anyone who does choose to get involved with you and I would feel concerned for the sub's safety. You are not a true Dominant if you think your post is accurate to the lifestyle. Please do more research and learn more about the lifestyle before someone gets hurt.

[Vi****]

A woman can't know she "wants to submit" to somebody when they see them. That's not at all how submission works. You don't "earn her submissiveness" by bowing down to her.

This place, well, the internet in general but especially kink sites are full of guys that claim to be a dom and have absolutely no idea what it means.

[ok****]

30 minutes ago, ThePleasureDom70 said:

What about all the fake Doms. Who expect the woman before even meeting to send pics engages in dirty phone sex and all sorts. These Fake Doms think Submissive woman are easy lays, Wrong. Bad mistake! They forget. WHOEVER gives can take away, the Submissive gives her body willingly to her chosen Dom she can also take it away and theres nothing he can do about it. So I ask Who is really in control ???

I'm glad you were here to offer the counterpoint. The OP is why I keep away from most "doms." They're just interested in abusing people.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, FireStar48 said:

A True Dom knows that there is a bond that is created between him and his sub. A sub is bonded to her Dom when she feels safe, protected, respected and heard. Her full submission is easily given when she is relaxed and comfortable. Her duty is to serve her Dom with respect, openness and willingness to provide him pleasure, excitement, fulfillment and submission at their agreed upon comfort levels. There should always be open discussion and dialogue prior to play sessions.

this

[Deleted Member]

Wow i’ve been dom and poly for 15 years I have multiple submissive and I live a lifestyle 24 x 7. I’m very highly active in my community and I constantly attend events.
What I have to say is this whole perception that submission shouldn’t be earned is bullshit. I mean honestly this whole statement for OP sounds like some newbie ass dumb shit to me.

[Ga****]

Without the subs trust you as a Dom have nothing point blank. I think you are confusing kink and actually bdsm submissive/Dom relationship. A sub will not just trust you especially when you have scenes in mind. Yes soft and hard limits give you an idea of what you can expect BUT you need that subs trust and you won't get it by one glance, by barking orders expecting them to be blindly followed nor by not actually communication. You are a dangerous Dom and one that won't have a sub for more than an hour if that. And once again if that is what you want you need to look at kink rather then BDSM and an actual submissive/dominate relationship.

[Lo****]

So so very incorrect.

[Deleted Member]

Just to be clear every Dom worth engaging with know that submission is something they earn every day and every second of their interaction with a Bottom.

Only toxic fu*ing Doms thinks submissive owe them submission.

[ch****]

I don't know if this has been said or not, but it's not about earning someone's submission. It is however about earning their trust. This goes both ways.
So often I am contacted and the only thing the Dom is interested in is sexual, pictures or actions. And hey maybe that's all the Dom wants, a sexual toy, that's fine if they are up front about it. Instead you hear, oh I want you to be my sub, in one form or another. Well to submit to anyone should require trust and respect. Those things take time.