Earning her submission

[Re****]

This way of thinking is what scares the hell out me trying to find an experienced dom. I dont want to just "submit" to the first dom I meet , I dont know him or trust him. What are some ways of finding an experienced dom that isn't just out for there own personal agenda?

[Vi****]

2 hours ago, Rebel9786 said:

This way of thinking is what scares the hell out me trying to find an experienced dom. I dont want to just "submit" to the first dom I meet , I dont know him or trust him. What are some ways of finding an experienced dom that isn't just out for there own personal agenda?

The only way is time. Yo have to build the relationship and decide along the way if he's worth submitting to

[CG****]

2 hours ago, Rebel9786 said:

This way of thinking is what scares the hell out me trying to find an experienced dom. I dont want to just "submit" to the first dom I meet , I dont know him or trust him. What are some ways of finding an experienced dom that isn't just out for there own personal agenda?

Let their actions guide you. If all they seem to act like or want is submission, that isn't a good dom. If all they want is sexual, that isn't a good dom. If they guide you through difficulties, and their actions make you feel supported and show you that they genuinely care, that's a good dom.

Kink can be learned, being an a** is permanent. A good dom admits what they don't know, and is willing to learn with you. A bad dom insists they lnow everything to begin with, and won't be *** or admit faults.

My strongest recommendation, find something you mesh with at a personality level, and if they don't have the experience you want, learn it together.

[Ba****]

2 hours ago, Rebel9786 said:

This way of thinking is what scares the hell out me trying to find an experienced dom. I dont want to just "submit" to the first dom I meet , I dont know him or trust him. What are some ways of finding an experienced dom that isn't just out for there own personal agenda?

Try looking for a open minded and honest one instead

Experienced doesn’t always mean good/ethical

Just make sure not to waste your trust on people who didn’t earn any and you’ll be fine

[Po****]

Good demonstration of why this app may need a dislike button

[Re****]

Thank you so much for the advice, its so nice to get "real" feedback, and to know that you genuine guys are actually on here that care. This gives me hope❤️

[CG****]

14 hours ago, Rebel9786 said:

This way of thinking is what scares the hell out me trying to find an experienced dom. I dont want to just "submit" to the first dom I meet , I dont know him or trust him. What are some ways of finding an experienced dom that isn't just out for there own personal agenda?

One additional note, please please please be careful of Doms that volunteer to be "your dom" without a vetting process. Your profile says "inexperienced sub" seeking "experienced dom" and while there is something to be said for that goal, it will invite more predatory Doms than positive ones. It may be very hard to weed out. In my eyes being a dom requires more trust than being a bf/gf. So be very very careful, especially with people you are getting to know anonymously.

[Ry****]

This is a terrible view on it. The point is there is consent between parties. You are only a Dom in as far as you respect your subs boundaries. I feel bad for any woman who has you as their, "Dom". Grow up. Learn what kink actually is before you claim to partake in it.

[Deleted Member]

There are plenty of "doms" who live in a fantasy land and have no idea how to communicate, what is aftercare etc etc etc. Just cos a man said he is a dom doesn't mean I'm a sub to any man and it sounds like ure one of those who would expect it. I feel sorry for any woman who gets you. Go educate yourself.

[Bi****]

I think there’s a little more nuance to it than that.

Submission is something that’s freely given, not something that can be demanded from either side. In my experience, the healthiest dynamics tend to come from mutual respect, communication, and trust that develops over time. Some people feel an immediate pull toward a Dom, while others need to see consistency, care, and understanding of their boundaries before they feel comfortable offering that level of vulnerability.

Neither approach is necessarily “fake” — it’s just different people navigating power exchange in ways that feel safe and authentic to them.

At the end of the day, I think the real key is consent and compatibility. If two people communicate clearly about their expectations and desires, the dynamic can develop naturally in whatever way works best for them.

[Mi****]

It depends. I’m a brat, sometimes I like to be f@rced into submission. I like to poke the bear to see if he means business. I like to be punished and to see if he will step up. I feel like most people that say they are doms are actually hard tops.

[Da****]

I don’t reward bad behavior, if you give me submission give it freely because you like or respect me. Submissives are supposed to act like it in my mind.

[ch****]

You must ABSOLUTELY earn their submission. Just because you identify as dominant doesn't make you worth submitting to. Prove yourself and EARN it or you're just a narcissistic perv in my book.