Healthy Master/slave dynamics

[Deleted Member]

With this blog I will probably get the criticism of the self-proclaimed Masters, and in superlative the super Masters and beyond.

The Ideal Master/Owner and slave dynamics in the BDSM Lifestyle

However, since BDSM is consensual, masters/owners must work to keep their property happy. It is not enough to train a slave according to his or her wont; the slave/property’s needs and desires must be taken into account.

1. The ideal master is one who is interested in learning the psychology of his property. He (we’ll use ‘he’ because of the dynamics of this site) wants to understand how his property thinks; not just about how that person thinks about slavery and submission, but about pretty much anything that they share. This is important if the master wants to have full control over his property, since if the slave’s thought process is in any way a mystery, those thoughts cannot be under his control. Sometimes a slave might not intentionally hide information from the dominant but still be unable to articulate something that seems obvious or trivial. Understanding the slave fully, through observation, interrogation, and prior knowledge will makes the slave’s motives in all things crystal clear.

2. The ideal master is well-read in a variety of subjects and has a questing curious mind. How else can he teach his slave new things or raise the bar of expectations if he himself cannot lead by example? This will also keep boredom setting in for the slave over the long term, as they learn new things together.

3. The ideal master has a sense of humor. He should be able to see the absurdity in many situations, including the master/slave relationship itself. It is no longer possible to legally own people in the US, and antebellum slavery was a horrible thing that destroyed families and souls. Without a sense of humor, it is easy for a master to become convinced that his ownership is both real and immutable, which can lead to emotional and even physical ***.

4. The ideal master is capable of flexibility. He understands that in order for a relationship to grow and stay fresh, the dynamics may change over time. This was true for real-life slaveowners who were sexually intimate with their slaves, and it is true of modern people who believe they have spiritual ownership over another. Without flexibility, the slave may become emotionally crippled, and the master may end up alone.

5. The ideal master plans for the future. Life contains many trials, including sickness, divorce and death. If a master is in a poly relationship with a married slave, he must plan for if that slave gets a divorce. If he is married to his slave and she has been kept at home, he should plan for an equitable separation of assets in case of a divorce, and for his property to be capable of holding down a job on her own. Since slaves and masters can become ill, an ideal master should plan for contingencies such as health care; and again, a master should always assume that at some point the slave will have to become the primary breadwinner in the household. Keeping a slave ignorant of finances, rendering her incapable of thinking for herself, or lowering her self-esteem to the point where she is incapable of holding a job is cruel, selfish, and short sighted. Likewise, owners can die suddenly. There should be contingency plans in place so that the slave can start a new life while grieving, without having to find a new master to pick up the slack.

6. The ideal master is capable of love. It is not wrong to love a slave, but it might change the dynamics of the relationship. He might decide to stop sharing her, or to break off sexual relations with other slaves. If she is to become his primary or sole sex partner, he should consider things like birth control, and what they should do if his property becomes pregnant. Such a master would need to be more cognizant of his slave’s new feelings and thoughts regarding love, jealousy, and faithfulness. He should not see love as a weakness, but simply another way of being.

7. The ideal master can admit that he is wrong. He is also willing to listen carefully to a slave’s suggestions and advice, even though he is the one who will make the final decision. On important matters, he must carefully way what is best for everyone involved, since he is responsible for more than one human life. In reality, a master is more like a king of a very small kingdom, than a real life owner of human flesh. Real slave owners do not have to be concerned with the well-being of slaves, since the slaves are bound by law and custom to never leave. Real masters can and even kill their slaves, put them in danger, deny them a living or even food and damage their property if it suits them, but a sexual master cannot and should not ever do so.

8. The ideal master can anticipate the needs and desires of his slave, even though he may choose whether or not to give into her desires on a regular basis. He should also not interfere with anything that will cause her to lose her job, her standing in the community, her children, or her family and friends, even if they disapprove of BDSM. This goes back to no. 5. It is emotionally unhealthy for a slave to become so dependent on her master that she loses all outside positive contact. A master who is so selfish that he would humiliate or denigrate his slave in such a fashion that it would cause undue friction between herself and her external support system is not a true master, but a coward with no self-control or self-respect. He is little more than a narcissist or a sociopath.

9. The ideal master does not see his slave as inferior to himself. He is not looking for a doormat, an *** victim, or *** co-dependent. Because he sees her as worthy of his attention, affection, and possibly even his love, her can take advice from her on matters where she is knowledgeable, sound her out on matters of importance, and trust that she can take care of them both if it is necessary. The ideal master is a princeps, a primus inter pares, a first among equals. A superior man is only interested in sharing his life with a superior woman who is not weak-willed and who presents a challenge. It is not worth breaking someone down if that person is not worthy of being built back up. Her strength is his strength, since it is the gift that she offers to him, along with her body.

[Deleted Member]

Very well said.

[Deleted Member]

More doms should take note. A dom is an enabler when he is seen by a potential sub, to be worthy of her submission to him and not until. All of your bullet points should be aspired to by all dominants worth their salt.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, masokitty said:

Very well said.

Thnx @Masokitty.

[Deleted Member]

16 minutes ago, Leatherfox2010 said:

More doms should take note. A dom is an enabler when he is seen by a potential sub, to be worthy of her submission to him and not until. All of your bullet points should be aspired to by all dominants worth their salt.

Thnx @Leatherfox

[Br3nt]

Thank you! I’m trying to figure out where I fit into all of this. Just starting to explore this side of me as recently as a few days ago and your article is very helpful.

[Ni****]

A submissive should be an equal in any Ds relationship, despite being the submissive partner.

Their views, opinions, wants and needs are as valid as the Dom/mes, and every submissive should be free to chat outside of the dynamic without *** of punishment. Communication is key to building a lasting, consensual and healthy DS relationship.