Who Should Sex Be Focused On?

[Be****]

Reward me with your cum, and praise me and let me, and I could care less if I orgasm.

[Be****]

Pet* not let

[PL****]

For me, it's because I thrive in submission to my partner. If im not pleasing them...(which can mean being pleased by them too) I feel inadequate. And what is the ultimate point of pleasure, relaxation, and intense feelings most have during a sexual encounter? The climax of course, so why wouldn't that be my ultimate goal. However, I also enjoy partners who take their time in both of reaching that goal and look for a mutual end goal. I have learned that for some men though they do not care if they climax so therefore my goal changes in that situation and instead it becomes about the intense pleasures olI can provide him with during the entire encounter. Basically I need my partner to know that I want to please him.

[un****]

Many women don't even experience climax until they are able to focus on their own pleasure. So the multitasking women do internally is already taking precious focus away from what they are experiencing in the moment.

Additionally, a lot of men experience climax before they even have sex with another person, through masterbation or wet dreams. It takes a lot more experimenting for a woman to identify how to make herself climax.

All this combined with each individual's personal experience creates a space where many women prefer to focus on a man's climax, which is much more tangible.

This also could be the reason a woman seeks out a pleasure Dom. She may want to learn to focus on herself, but is still learning how. For women, this can be a whole mindset change that can take years. These women may not even know there are levels to climaxing eg. Pleasure, single orgasm, multiple orgasms, squirting.

Plus, some women don't self lubricate when they feel pleasure or climax. In these cases, climax may not just be pleasure, but may also be ***ful, as climaxing often leads to penetration, and without additional lubrication that hurts. *** may not be their kink.

Now imagine all or any of this is going on in your head and body and you have no idea sex can be any different. So you actually don't know how to change or that change is even possible.

It is very easy, as a woman to get to the frame of mind, "This is lovely, but let me just focus on him, because I've no idea how to focus on me right now to get more out of the experience."

Sometimes it's less mental work to focus on your partner.

[Mo****]

2 hours ago, under_the_radar2108 said:

Many women don't even experience climax until they are able to focus on their own pleasure. So the multitasking women do internally is already taking precious focus away from what they are experiencing in the moment.

Additionally, a lot of men experience climax before they even have sex with another person, through masterbation or wet dreams. It takes a lot more experimenting for a woman to identify how to make herself climax.

All this combined with each individual's personal experience creates a space where many women prefer to focus on a man's climax, which is much more tangible.

This also could be the reason a woman seeks out a pleasure Dom. She may want to learn to focus on herself, but is still learning how. For women, this can be a whole mindset change that can take years. These women may not even know there are levels to climaxing eg. Pleasure, single orgasm, multiple orgasms, squirting.

Plus, some women don't self lubricate when they feel pleasure or climax. In these cases, climax may not just be pleasure, but may also be ***ful, as climaxing often leads to penetration, and without additional lubrication that hurts. *** may not be their kink.

Now imagine all or any of this is going on in your head and body and you have no idea sex can be any different. So you actually don't know how to change or that change is even possible.

It is very easy, as a woman to get to the frame of mind, "This is lovely, but let me just focus on him, because I've no idea how to focus on me right now to get more out of the experience."

Sometimes it's less mental work to focus on your partner.

This. This is the golden comment. 🫶 absolute perfection.

[Be****]

Some lubricate so much after squirting that the slipperiness of our natural lubricant gets washed away, as well.

[wb****]

12 hours ago, jinxed said:

I can count on two hands the times I climaxed with a man unless it was me using a toy. It's almost impossible for me as I simply can't relax enough to get there when my partner is even close to me. On my own, not a problem. 
For me it's not really worth any effort nor do I get satisfaction out of not climaxing. Rather it's my way to keep a man by my side. If all else is a catastrophe with me, then at least that positive part will always be available with me. So it all boils down to very very low self-esteem and since I am aware of what a messed-up mindset that is, I am desperately working on changing it. But for now this is the honest answer. 

Same, all of it same.

Additionally it was pounded into my brain others needs and wants come first and I get what’s left. That was usually just to go clean up and try to sleep or drive home. It wasn’t until this yr that I was with someone who prioritized me. It took great effort to stop pretending I was enjoying myself and actually start enjoy myself.

So for me putting the other person first at the expense of my enjoyment was just the status quo. It just was.

[ho****]

I find all the focus on me exhausting. It's way too much pressure.

I'm not alone in this.

Oh, sure, you'll have the feminist pathos abundant like weeds online going on and on about the magical secrets to making girls cum ... But you wanna know the REAL magic secret? Just chill the eff out! And stop pressuring her to perform for your ego like a helicopter parent at an SAT prep class!

Whether she climaxes or not is varied, and doesn't affect whether she enjoys sex as much as guys seem to think it does. For a man, successful sexual encounter is whether he busts a nut -- but please don't apply man logic (or male sexuality) to a girl!

Guys online these days -- o lordy! Mr. "I wanna eat you out for four hours!" ... Goodness, boy, that sounds exhausting... for ME!

Let's be real: Most of the obsession you guys have with a woman's orgasm is totally about you; it's about your egos; it's about wanting to feel good about yourselves.

Women are like the ocean: Keep trying to find a pattern in the waves but there isn't one; our experiences change based on so many factors, only a fraction of which have to do with the partner, and largely having to do with ourselves and what's in our heads and what's around us and something that happened on the drive to work last Wednesday, and....

So just go with the flow and you'll float! You can't *** the ocean to perform for you.

As for your question to what drives a woman to prioritize her partner: Love.
Love. Trust. Security. Feeling safe. Feeling her investment reciprocated.

If the women you've been having sex with lately feel like they're only thinking about themselves -- **invest actual effort into women of higher quality.**

[an****]

3 hours ago, honeycrisp said:

I find all the focus on me exhausting. It's way too much pressure.

I'm not alone in this.

Oh, sure, you'll have the feminist pathos abundant like weeds online going on and on about the magical secrets to making girls cum ... But you wanna know the REAL magic secret? Just chill the eff out! And stop pressuring her to perform for your ego like a helicopter parent at an SAT prep class!

Whether she climaxes or not is varied, and doesn't affect whether she enjoys sex as much as guys seem to think it does. For a man, successful sexual encounter is whether he busts a nut -- but please don't apply man logic (or male sexuality) to a girl!

Guys online these days -- o lordy! Mr. "I wanna eat you out for four hours!" ... Goodness, boy, that sounds exhausting... for ME!

Let's be real: Most of the obsession you guys have with a woman's orgasm is totally about you; it's about your egos; it's about wanting to feel good about yourselves.

Women are like the ocean: Keep trying to find a pattern in the waves but there isn't one; our experiences change based on so many factors, only a fraction of which have to do with the partner, and largely having to do with ourselves and what's in our heads and what's around us and something that happened on the drive to work last Wednesday, and....

So just go with the flow and you'll float! You can't *** the ocean to perform for you.

As for your question to what drives a woman to prioritize her partner: Love.
Love. Trust. Security. Feeling safe. Feeling her investment reciprocated.

If the women you've been having sex with lately feel like they're only thinking about themselves -- **invest actual effort into women of higher quality.**

I enjoyed you contribution, thank you. I get the 'pressure adds pressure not release' that's definitely a real thing and people should fully understand this, this is important in a lot of dynamics.