Community

[dr****]

 is it just me that feels like the element of community in our lifestyle has dissipated. The online present seem strong, however when looking out into the community, there are so few events and get-togethers meet and greets, and munches. When I first began exploring this lifestyle, there were so many events and so many open-minded and welcoming people I miss that.

[Se****]

Same here and tbh It’s hard to find open minded people now. If you follow kinks then you should be able to cross boundaries consensually

[en****]

It's called nihilistic epicureanism. It's at the very core of all of it and will cause isolation due to its nature.

[ev****]

Personal I feel like there's are people doing it for the fad. Because it the new hot thing or like the internet show you can become a million air if you join onlyfans

[Ro****]

Well I think unfortunately this applies to pretty much everything these days. Not just kink, friendship, family, education, shopping, everything is happening "online" and the offline traditional communication is becoming diluted more and more.

And I think we kinda owe this to covid. We kinda got used to being isolated. You know? It's not healthy at all, but it is comfortable...

[Re****]

I had a small gathering of about 15 people planned starting with games and then just branching off into separate hotel rooms for play, and that number has dwindled to eight and could still be dwindling more. It just seems to be an occurrence especially now that it's summertime people have other things going on and I didn't think about that when I planned it So realistically my event will probably be canceled just because I'm not paying $615 for three hotel suites for people to not come

[co****]

This Fet is boring. Fetlife is what ya want

[Astickman]

I'd say he is right about fetlife, but it is happening here too. Never had a big group or a group lol but the influx of fake profiles and people just here to make *** seems is very big. If half the people you message aren't here for the community vibe then it feels soulless. Maybe coopdog14 is just lucky?

[Be****]

I feel it depends on your area, fetlife has some amazing events nearly every day but they are unfortunately miles away

[MD****]

I can say the community has changed from when I started years ago. Its become more of a instant gratification of expectations, and not the open and friendly, community based safe space like it was/is for me

[Bi****]

I do not see a slow down of kink in the least. Where I do see a change is away from the “lifestyle” and lifestyle related events. Kink centered life and groups do not seem to be dissipating at all. Kink shows, businesses and bookings seem to be busier then ever. I know my self and most other ***rs that work as professional Doms have a wait list in our scenes but I know there are a ton of people not at our level that can’t say that. I think it’s a YMMV kinda situation.

[gl****]

Whine whine whine. Humans should be more grateful. Be grateful for what you have. Ingratitude will make you not see what you have and what you could make out of it. Keep the energy positive. Just live, don’t complain

[lo****]

All I know is that for two years I have been deceived a couple of dozen times by women who said they were doms. Been fleeced out of more *** than I’d like to admit and NEVER MET ANY OF THEM. I think this whole kink world is the worst sham I have ever encountered, and I find it all now frankly repulsive.

[ba****]

Yeah it’s definitely shifted over the years and seems to be doing so more and more across a range of different community groups .
I guess it’s to be expected now we’re all essentially hostages to the digital world , I truly believe it’s a major concern as people tend to think they are still staying connected to those that matter in their life , but I think it’s a double edged sword , yes we can StayConnected through social media and our devices , the thing is we can stay connected but we can do it from a place of isolation aswell.
You literally don’t need to leave your home for anything these days , we can get anything we basically want or need delivered straight to our front door , with it all done in a matter of minutes from our phones.
I believe it’s only going to become an even bigger problem as time goes on , but we’ve never questioned it .
I think the fact it’s so easy to do is what appeals to people.
Not much effort required at all.

[dr****]

Thank you guys for your comments! I’ve come to many of the same conclusions. It makes me worry for this lifestyle we live. I’m 51 and I was introduced to this at 19, it’s really all I know. Best of luck and warmest wishes to all of you!

[me****]

Theres no community without unity

[ma****]

4 hours ago, drifter79 said:

Thank you guys for your comments! I’ve come to many of the same conclusions. It makes me worry for this lifestyle we live. I’m 51 and I was introduced to this at 19, it’s really all I know. Best of luck and warmest wishes to all of you!

I've been publicly involved for about 15 years on Fetlife. My circle has shrunk marginally, based on people's character. I just had beers and pizza with a buddy I've known through kink for about 10 years. We have a group of about 30 people that get together a few times a year at events, dinners, drinks, cards, etc. Sometimes it's a small gathering for just the group and their partners. Other times it's a massive public event and we bump into or plan to meet up at.

I've found that the most important thing to me, is to surround yourself with good people within your local kink community. You'll get attention whores on both sides of the slash that are egotistical and seek to disturb the calm because of their need for attention. Avoid the pick me people. Make time for drinks and dinner with your kink family (closest and most trusted kink friends). Participate and organize. Kink is no different than anything else in life. You get out of it, what you put into it.

[mo****]

Too many scammers. I'm out

[ph****]

I’m a bit shy and reserved when it comes to online presence. I wish there were more munches in my area because I’d like to meet my daddy dom organically. There’s a lot of fake doms and subs out there that affected the community name.

[Ha****]

I agree. You get what you put in and organic occasional gatherings are best just to hang out and have a couple beers. It rids all the phony’s.

[dr****]

10 hours ago, glasgow22906 said:

Whine whine whine. Humans should be more grateful. Be grateful for what you have. Ingratitude will make you not see what you have and what you could make out of it. Keep the energy positive. Just live, don’t complain

If we don’t try to fix what we think is wrong then things will never change.

[sp****]

Honestly, I think there are a lot of fake people out there who are simply looking for hookups. They don’t truly understand the lifestyle or everything that comes with it. My assumption is that many view it through the lens of certain adult websites, then try to fake their way into someone else’s life and community.

Because of that, I don’t blame anyone for doing extensive vetting or taking whatever steps make them feel safe. At the end of the day, trust and safety are essential when two people choose to be together and explore the experiences and enjoyment that the lifestyle has to offer.

[Li****]

7 hours ago, matt_in_michigan said:

I've been publicly involved for about 15 years on Fetlife. My circle has shrunk marginally, based on people's character. I just had beers and pizza with a buddy I've known through kink for about 10 years. We have a group of about 30 people that get together a few times a year at events, dinners, drinks, cards, etc. Sometimes it's a small gathering for just the group and their partners. Other times it's a massive public event and we bump into or plan to meet up at.

I've found that the most important thing to me, is to surround yourself with good people within your local kink community. You'll get attention whores on both sides of the slash that are egotistical and seek to disturb the calm because of their need for attention. Avoid the pick me people. Make time for drinks and dinner with your kink family (closest and most trusted kink friends). Participate and organize. Kink is no different than anything else in life. You get out of it, what you put into it.

Spot on with your response! I couldn't have said it any better.

[Bi****]

There is a lot of truth in that comment Matt.

[ve****]

amen to that Matt 🙏. I am single but try to approach any situation with upmost respect and integrity required. anything less is blatant disrespect