'Domme' scammers and one-dimensional assumptions

[Blackadder1978]

 I've been on sites like this for a while on and off, and of course have been contacted by a range of would-be scammers looking for a mark. Just my musings, but two things seem to be really common:

1) They very often use the same forms of text / descriptions / questions / responses, and rarely tailor to one's profile in any meaningful way
2) They all assume a one-dimensionality to what a sub male is looking for

The first of these points is easy to get; it's the reason the Nigerian banker email scam still circulates - because it occasionally works. Throw enough spears into a lake and eventually one floats up with a fish.  It also, thankfully, makes it easier for all of us to avoid these swine.  

The second point bemuses me more. Do they really think that it's only a physical thing at play here? That sub males are only about the brain between our legs, and the image of a whip-wielding Domme will melt our ability to be rational? There's no subtlety or range; it's all 'you will be my sex slave', 'used and ***d at My whim', '24/7 servitude' (as if that were actually possible), and so forth. It's fantastic, in the less common meaning of the term.  Is it just laziness or stupidity on their part, or is that Domme / Sub construct so embedded in 'vanilla land'  that it's just what people believe?  

Or am I just the weird (um, weirder) exception for whom the mind is the darkest playground, and it really is mostly physical for most of us?

[Deleted Member]

Scammers can be found on all social media and all dating sites these days, and the reasons for this are quite simple. Even if you would be obliged to pay on every dating site, and also be obliged to identify yourself with, for example, a driver's license or passport, this cannot be prevented. What remains is to learn to live with it, and to report if you come across one.

[Subsissy331]

Don't forget the new (due to hygiene) equipment you have to up front, from the shop of their choice, and have delivered to their dungeon in advance of your arrival. Around £700 ish. Lol.

[ey****]

do you know why they stick with that formula? because it kinda works

but also a lot of scam kits get bought and sold - so people basically them and it has the text and instructions in.

[Deleted Member]

Because they just want $$$. They don’t take the time to actually educate themselves on being a proper Domme.

[su****]

This thread has started me thinking. Is it possible that they (the scammers) see us as 'disabled' by our deviance, and that's why they target us?

It's conceivably why every scammer who's contacted me takes the same cookie cutter approach. 

*c*

[ey****]

4 hours ago, coax said:

This thread has started me thinking. Is it possible that they (the scammers) see us as 'disabled' by our deviance, and that's why they target us?

It's conceivably why every scammer who's contacted me takes the same cookie cutter approach. 

*c*

Nah, we're not even the most commonly targeted dating mark, let alone mark in general.

Most common scam at the moment is an email or text saying a package/parcel could not be delivered - pay £1.99 fee - which phishes your card details.  

But also scams are very much a pyramid scheme.  If you have a system which has worked, you can sell it on to other wouldbe scammers 

A lot of scams work by offering somebody what they want and a reliance of them not reporting. Perhaps some does work by deviance, "I ordered some items and they didn't arrive from a fake website that scammed me", "OK what did you ?", "Err, a personalised butt plug"

Not a phone call someone wants with a nice lady at the bank

But still. Women are often more targeted for dating scams in general... but usually a long game and higher stakes 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Women being scammed online?!? 🤔 presume you mean the stuff thats been reported on TV recently....... Dating/Romance scams we can meet up & get married if you'd just pay my $3000 air-fair type scam you mean?!? Or did you mean something S&M related to that type of thing?!? Guys who try to scam with stuff like that tend to assume that even if you've only just chatted casually to them a Bit that you've become "bonded" to them during that time & will be "open" to doing stuff for them 💀🙊💀 like paying them to "come visit you" etc but if your wary you still don't know them from Adam & it's total bollocks you just end up laughing at their blatant presumptive crassness but the worst part is you can't really report them on most sites & get them removed so they'll just go on to someone else with all my disgust in tow ☠️🎃🤐☠️

I'm sure it's often played as the longer game to get her 🎃❤️🎃 & get tons of *** But they do shorter terms bets as well it's happened to me once but he didn't get anything out of me!!)

 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

On 8/7/2021 at 11:53 AM, Blackadder1978 said:

 I've been on sites like this for a while on and off, and of course have been contacted by a range of would-be scammers looking for a mark. Just my musings, but two things seem to be really common:

1) They very often use the same forms of text / descriptions / questions / responses, and rarely tailor to one's profile in any meaningful way
2) They all assume a one-dimensionality to what a sub male is looking for

The first of these points is easy to get; it's the reason the Nigerian banker email scam still circulates - because it occasionally works. Throw enough spears into a lake and eventually one floats up with a fish.  It also, thankfully, makes it easier for all of us to avoid these swine.  

The second point bemuses me more. Do they really think that it's only a physical thing at play here? That sub males are only about the brain between our legs, and the image of a whip-wielding Domme will melt our ability to be rational? There's no subtlety or range; it's all 'you will be my sex slave', 'used and ***d at My whim', '24/7 servitude' (as if that were actually possible), and so forth. It's fantastic, in the less common meaning of the term.  Is it just laziness or stupidity on their part, or is that Domme / Sub construct so embedded in 'vanilla land'  that it's just what people believe?  

Or am I just the weird (um, weirder) exception for whom the mind is the darkest playground, and it really is mostly physical for most of us?

No it sounds barbaric & cold & Fascist more than Fetish 💀☹️💀 like your just an object with no soul which sounds off to me.....your still a person Fetish Dosnt change that in fact if it's not kinda personal a Bit then that's more like real-life-slavery & who wants that?!? 😬🙊☹️

 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

13 hours ago, coax said:

This thread has started me thinking. Is it possible that they (the scammers) see us as 'disabled' by our deviance, and that's why they target us?

It's conceivably why every scammer who's contacted me takes the same cookie cutter approach. 

*c*

Yeah I think we are in bondage to our +Sin (or desires for it at least) because you can try to be carefull etc but it's part of our inherent *** nature &  that because it's taboo to society & to religion were in a difficult position already!! trying to learn Fetish & navigate our way around safely before some scamer even trys anything ..... 💀😬💀 I mean who's going to give out sympathy & advise if it goes wrong?!? 🙊 Apart from sites like here most folks would presume your at fault or just nuts probably 🙈 Gives them an easy advantage over you ☹️ and an uneven playing field!!

..

[ey****]

3 hours ago, Rock21RosesAndRopes said:

Women being scammed online?!? 🤔 presume you mean the stuff thats been reported on TV recently....... Dating/Romance scams we can meet up & get married if you'd just pay my $3000 air-fair type scam you mean?!

yeah, kinda

they're the ones that often target women and it's usually a big sum worked on over a longer time.  Though, given many involved people pretending to be soldiers, some might be more difficult now troops aren't in Afghanistan 

A lot of the ones that target men are usually based on quick gratification and lower sums, but the ones targeting women tend to be more drawn out in hope for greater sums.   In some cases they even meet the person who goes on to scam them. 

[Wantingtolearn1975]

After reading what's been put here I really am beginning to think that there are no or at least no mistresses here that ether aren't anywhere close or just after my limited funds... been approached by 3 so far the 1st two had identical approach wanting £70 for a dungeon pass plus more once acquired  the other insisted that I kits from an American bondage store cost £300 but she insisted that she was local ,,,, please can anyone help me regarding this subject as really keen to explore and experience being dominated by a woman who knows what they are doing,,,,, 

[ey****]

22 minutes ago, Wantingtolearn1975 said:

After reading what's been put here I really am beginning to think that there are no or at least no mistresses here that ether aren't anywhere close or just after my limited funds... been approached by 3 so far the 1st two had identical approach wanting £70 for a dungeon pass plus more once acquired  the other insisted that I kits from an American bondage store cost £300 but she insisted that she was local ,,,, please can anyone help me regarding this subject as really keen to explore and experience being dominated by a woman who knows what they are doing,,,,, 

So - yeah - often an immediate suspicion is when women approach first.  Usually when someone approaches me first if it's not a scam it's either someone I've interacted with on the forum or in chat or someone thanking me for something I'd written on the forum.  Because the question is sometimes why, what did I do to attract someone.  

Don't use a single website as a stop/start and getting involved in your local community is a big boost.  The Midlands has a thriving community, multiple dungeons and two dedicated Femdom nights (the only region outside London to have two dedicated nights) mixing what you do in real life and online boosts your chances.

[Wantingtolearn1975]

Is there any particular club venue that you can recommend being a beginner in this area ? Not the most confident of people so would like to be sure that it's a relaxed environment.

[Deleted Member]

This happened to me very recently.  £300 lost YES I should've known better but being new to the scene I was caught unawares by the so called dungeon pass scam . Be careful out there kinksters

[Deleted Member]

August 22, eyemblacksheep said:

So - yeah - often an immediate suspicion is when women approach first.  Usually when someone approaches me first if it's not a scam it's either someone I've interacted with on the forum or in chat or someone thanking me for something I'd written on the forum.  Because the question is sometimes why, what did I do to attract someone.  

Don't use a single website as a stop/start and getting involved in your local community is a big boost.  The Midlands has a thriving community, multiple dungeons and two dedicated Femdom nights (the only region outside London to have two dedicated nights) mixing what you do in real life and online boosts your chances.

There are some of us who approach first and arnt scammers 🙈

[ey****]

47 minutes ago, sheswitch said:

There are some of us who approach first and arnt scammers 🙈

oh of course, and they're wonderful to get.  but. less common 

[Deleted Member]

On 8/7/2021 at 10:53 AM, Blackadder1978 said:

 I've been on sites like this for a while on and off, and of course have been contacted by a range of would-be scammers looking for a mark. Just my musings, but two things seem to be really common:

1) They very often use the same forms of text / descriptions / questions / responses, and rarely tailor to one's profile in any meaningful way
2) They all assume a one-dimensionality to what a sub male is looking for

The first of these points is easy to get; it's the reason the Nigerian banker email scam still circulates - because it occasionally works. Throw enough spears into a lake and eventually one floats up with a fish.  It also, thankfully, makes it easier for all of us to avoid these swine.  

The second point bemuses me more. Do they really think that it's only a physical thing at play here? That sub males are only about the brain between our legs, and the image of a whip-wielding Domme will melt our ability to be rational? There's no subtlety or range; it's all 'you will be my sex slave', 'used and ***d at My whim', '24/7 servitude' (as if that were actually possible), and so forth. It's fantastic, in the less common meaning of the term.  Is it just laziness or stupidity on their part, or is that Domme / Sub construct so embedded in 'vanilla land'  that it's just what people believe?  

Or am I just the weird (um, weirder) exception for whom the mind is the darkest playground, and it really is mostly physical for most of us?

Ssshhh!

You're not supposed to help scammers improve their game. Do you really want sophisticated scammers contacting you that actually take time to understand you and the things that make you "tic"? Because that's got to be absolutely the worst kind of scammer. Asking for that is how you get trapped in their game.

[ey****]

I won't say scammers don't change over time; but generally the approach is the same.

They follow effectively guides and scripts that are bought and sold and the aim with this type of scam is they want a moderate amount of *** quickly - partially because they know when they set the ball rolling they only have limited time before they're thrown of the site which is pretty much why any attempt to take off site should be seen as an immediate red flag

That's the first aim

From there, actually, most scams I have seen do lean in a little with a what are you looking for what do you want and then try to say, hey, I can give you it all

I did have fun with a scammer once when I told one I already had a Mistress and I wanted a sub, and their change of tact was hilarious because they didn't have a script for it and tried to just fumble through.   But, yeah, once you're off site they'll feign interest anyway and offer you pretty much whatever you want. 

 

[Blackadder1978]

Tuesday at 12:04 PM, sheswitch said:

There are some of us who approach first and arnt scammers 🙈

You're right, and though it is rare it is wonderful. Funny story at my expense: I got a one liner message from a switch that said "you are too good to be true" and I instantly thought 'fake'. Ignored it for dates and came remarkably close to deleting it; thankfully didn't - very much is she real and we are good friends now. It's a hard balance to find: not letting our cynicism get the better of us but still being cautious.

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Okay so while it keeps coming up on here related to scams if you did want a dungeon session and i was booked-in or set-up or whatever it's called when eXactly would I be required to pay the bill?!! Is it like on arrival like at a hotel?!? Or afterward the session is over before I leave?!?.......

[ey****]

3 minutes ago, Rock21RosesAndRopes said:

Okay so while it keeps coming up on here related to scams if you did want a dungeon session and i was booked-in or set-up or whatever it's called when eXactly would I be required to pay the bill?!! Is it like on arrival like at a hotel?!? Or afterward the session is over before I leave?!?.......

So. If you were booking a session with a Pro Domme for an in person meet.

Most require a deposit up front.  This can be as low as £50 or as high as 50% of the total tribute.  This is then, of course, important that you know they are who they say they are - which is why most have a website and/or other strong/clear presence : many will be on at least one site they've had to verify to be on also (AdultWork, OnlyFans - though you can't talk to someone about a meet on OF, any of the clip sites)

 The reason for the deposit is, well, nearly every Domme has been hit by someone who has ghosted/no-showed and, well, they still have to pay the dungeon hire/etc

What is then usual is you would hand over the difference before the session starts.  

 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Okay so now that's more clear what's the normal process I'm trying to work out at what stage these guys are getting scammed?!? Before they've even booked up fully online or after they've paid it didn't happen or maybe just someone asking for full payment in advance but without providing any correct or current link-ins to their service or maybe the so called Domme Dosnt even eXist and it's a fake profile?!? ?🎃 If your not allowed to ask about meets then how is it set up like by some automatic booking services?!? Do they sent out emails to verify payments like other regular services?!?  If it's even possible I'd want to hire out a Master for myself to get services only now I've realised i must try to prevent myself also being scammed for the future 🤔 espically as I've found out there are dungeons in my own city 🌃 But I'd eXpect Masters are harder to find in the 1st place and maybe harder to verify as less common generally so it creates potential for problems before I've even gotten started?!? 😯 Also I'd guess it's mostly gay/bi guys whod be able to hire out a session with a Master and so there's the gender issues of supply  chain there too?!? Is it something that ever happens trans-gals hiring out pro-masters?!? I'm wanting to be real carefull not to get some bad eXperience guy  here 🤔

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Rock21RosesAndRopes said:

Okay so now that's more clear what's the normal process I'm trying to work out at what stage these guys are getting scammed?!?

It depends on the scam being pulled.    But some common ones are that the person isn't necessarily posing as a Pro (even if some steal Pro's pictures)

So (a) I will play with you all/day night - you just book the dungeon from this very specific site (dungeon doesn't exist) (b) I will be my Mistress, you just need to buy your training collar and butt plug from this very specific site (site is a mock up, doesn't go to a real store) (c) you just pay a one off fee to the BDSM council then you can have unlimited play with myself and any other Mistress (or sub) you like/want (d) the dungeon pass - i.e. fake membership to a bunch of clubs/dungeons that don't exist - or possibly DO exist, just aren't covered by this fictitious pass 

So on.

And so the person being scammed might sometimes be thinking "a pro is £150-£200 per hour... this person is wanting £100-£150 for unlimited" and be suckered in.

I kinda don't believe these people are paying towards what they think is a Pro Domme session that just doesn't happen 

1 hour ago, Rock21RosesAndRopes said:

But I'd eXpect Masters are harder to find in the 1st place and maybe harder to verify as less common generally so it creates potential for problems before I've even gotten started?!? 😯 Also I'd guess it's mostly gay/bi guys whod be able to hire out a session with a Master and so there's the gender issues of supply  chain there too?!? Is it something that ever happens trans-gals hiring out pro-masters?!?

there are a handful I can think of.  But I've never met them. And, literally I can name fewer pro Masters in the UK than I can pro Dommes in the North East and we're not exactly a hot bed up here.    I would argue a good Pro should see someone irrespective of their gender.   That gets into another larger thing

If you can get to London a few choices open up I think 

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Wonder what the gender-dynamics are going on here?!? 😬  So loads of peeps will pay females & female transexuals for sex & domination etc But don't want to pay a male for the same services?!? Or males don't want to do that kind of work & get paid?!? Being elusive & eXclusive maybe to gay men's scene only?!? Is this kinda like the male nurse thing where noone wants to hire a male nurse so they can't make a living even if they've trained as one (one guy told me once who'd been a male nurse) 😯  there are male escorts etc so why not male dommes?!? Would they be in dungeons or in clubs?!? Now I feel like the superfreak of the adult client world.....if I have a choice I'd rather pay for services & be specific trying to negotiate with some guy unpaid could be so tricky and frustrating!! 🎃