Soft Dom vs. Hard Dom

[ca****]

I'm a soft one, nurturing even

[Deleted Member]

It just depends on the person as I'm a bit of a *** slut so I like my sir being hard on me if I don't do as im told or mess something up or even in the way I speak to him sir knows my tones so if I'm sassy it won't be as bad but if I'm disrespectful or rude then it's a lit worse but I need that in my life to keep me in line but again bdsm isn't just a bedroom thing for me its a life style I've chosen to live and wouldn't have it any different

[te****]

Does it bother you ? That's the big question

[Deleted Member]

Absolutely not don't get me wrong I do love *** but I'm still a women who loves cuddles kisses and loves to be pampered and to have hot sensual slow and soft passionate love making

[br****]

This soft versus hard dom is an interesting question (unless u simply needed a blue pill)….

My gratification comes from finding the boundaries of my subs tolerances to produce heightened experiences through the juxtaposition of sensations. Whether these planned spaces are sexual or not is hardly relevant to the overall experience although someone often cums.

I did meet a sub once who just wanted to be beaten up physically I told them they needed a psychiatrist not a master

[br****]

I also noticed she was covered in slash like scars on her arms and legs

[br****]

At the end of the day this is meant to be mutually beneficial experience

[My****]

@brighton-and966 I couldn’t agree more

[My****]

@domdaddymyers I feel like “soft dom” could mean a bunch of different things. You could try asking what the person meant. Regardless, though, it just sounds like you’re being a good dom.

[vi****]

If that makes you a “soft Dom” then I need to edit my likes to “soft doms” because you sound perfect to me

[Deleted Member]

I completely agree been told I’m a soft dom to lol because I care about my sub( or babygirl) I treat my sub as a real person, I’m a hard dom when needed, but I do respect and treat my sub accordingly. I don’t do ***, I hate *** myself , spankings excluded of course but I’d rather teach , guide and help my sub grow as a sub and a person than demean and humiliate them . To me… a d/s relationship is about trust, and learning about each other, and mutual respect, I shouldn’t have to “ break a sub in” she should “want” to surrender to me and that’s a mental thing as well as a physical thing, but also depends on her kinks as well but anyway I salute you! Here’s to being a soft dom! Kink on!

[Dr****]

My understanding (and it could be wrong) is a soft Dom encourages their sub and rewards and isn't much into the way of punishment. Where as the hard Dom is more into punishment and leading with rules and a strict standard. Nothing wrong with being a soft Dom. I honestly don't like the titles of soft or hard. Because every situation with sub is different. Or if you change subs or have multiple. It's like putting yourself in box which causes linear thinking and no flexibility. Be like bamboo.

[Deleted Member]

@Vargfeng I share a similar understanding. I actually had the opposite happen where I got called a hard Dom dude how strict my rules seemed. Most of my protocols that are built around making my subs successful in life and helping them to overcome their own mental obstacles. It's a weird line and I don't think it always applies. I definitely believe in strict guidelines and harsh punishment, but I'm also think rewards can be as effective in the right circumstances. So what does that make me a semi hard dom??? 😂😂😂

[Dr****]

🤣🤣🤣 I guess it does.
I wouldn't think you try to install a stain glass window with a framing hammer. Or take the lugs off a car with a crescent wrench.

[Th****]

Personally I would take being called a soft Dom as a compliment. I think you want to be well rounded and authentic as a Dominant. That means you have your soft side and a harder side.

It is all about balance, you can not spend 24\7 with your submissive unless you have that flexibility. As Dominants, no matter which sort, we have to be decent, well rounded human beings first and foremost.

The above is of course just in my opinion.

[Deleted Member]

@Thebian I agree completely. I don't even think this is a matter of opinion I think if you are one-dimensional it's probably an indicator of poor emotional intelligence. Doesn't mean you're less of a person but it does mean you're probably not as safe.