can there be the trust needed when sub wants 24/7 but dom/me wants to play

[slavewife]

this may sound a bit daft but im curious . been chatting to a friend a Dom who not on here that his sub wants to get back with him. she de collared herself and now not been together for a few months . she has now asked to get back but she wants 24/7 with him not playing with any others which he is not willing to do (having to much fun as we all do).

would you take her back and start again knowing that you want to play with others and she has to deal with it knowing its not what the Dom wants 

ive said they need a big chat i have asked if intercourse involved for after play (sorry just me as head that) or a BJ and he said no sex just a BJ

could this work ? is a trust issue? be good to see peoples opinion on this so can pass on 

im trying to advise but ben there done it but wasnt full term dynamic just a week or so now im in 24/7 its hard so any advice to pass on be great

 

sorry ive tried to type this im better using ma gob to say 

 

 

[Master50]

Take he back yes
I would but will talk about Don's activities further.

[Master50]

Just a BJ then I would say no thank u and move ON. I'm looking and there's more then just a BJ involved. Love 24/7

[Deleted Member]

The best thing it’s going find someone that can give you what you need and not settle because at the end you will be unhappy and suffer

[TheBookCollector]

Its obvious they want different things so why go down that rabbit hole. Both should move on and find partners that can meet their respective needs.

[ey****]

I don't actually think either of them would be happy if they got back together.

So for example the Dominant being asked to be exclusive when it's not something he has previously been happy with

And if the sub wanted exclusivity because of wanting more time, or jealousy, or any of the other challenges - there's always be similar challenges - and something else that becomes a challenge is that she might gain other new problems here for example if she feels she is not enough or if the Dominant isn't really happy.

--

Mind, in general I'm not saying folk should never give things another go - but - always kinda work out what led to the breakdown in the first place and whether it is fair to change things.

 

[Ravenlvsoral]

Well my thinking is why she de collard herself from him in first place ? Was ther a trust issue then .
Was this dom playing with others and she wanted more of him 24/7 so in thinking it would be best they didn't get back together just to give BJ so no it wouldn't work for her for him yes .a lot of questions to be asked on that one

[Li****]

Both Dom and sub should want the same outcome for their relationship. I agree with eyemblacksheep to address the root cause of the issues you had. If her gut says there's no trust then its better she listens to that than live to regret trying again

[Hy****]

A lot of relationships that come back together, sadly do so out of loneliness. Seldom are the core issues addressed.

However, if those can be worked out, on the rare occasion they are, it can (sometimes) work.

[Hy****]

All add, it doesn't sound like that's the case here

[4R****]

The sub released herself? Why would the Dom take her back? How could he trust her not to go again? That thought will always be at the back of his mind! Not to mention the fact that if he takes her back then he is endorsing her behaviour and letting her know that she can come and go as she pleases.

Anther red flag is that she was a part time sub and couldn't handle that so went, and has now come back wanting 24/7??????? What Dom in his right mind would allow that to happen?

As for the mis-match in what they both want - well do I really need to say anything on that? They are incompatible.

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Now I'm wondering what "after play" normally is and if that is a thing that I should know about if it's a regular part of the dynamics?!? 🤔 And part of the contract??.....

[ey****]

3 hours ago, Rock21RosesAndRopes said:

Now I'm wondering what "after play" normally is and if that is a thing that I should know about if it's a regular part of the dynamics?!? 🤔 And part of the contract??.....

I feel what is meant in this context.

Regardless of your dynamic or structure you're not always in play/scene.   And something like sex might not be part of the scene, but something that is done afterwards.  

[RosesHaveThorns75]

Thinking now that it was obvious  post must be in the conteXt of a live in situation 🤔 but I was so surprised by the sex contract that I didn't see that part!! after any play I'd need to go rest drink coffee maybe sleep definitely not sex!!! Not at my age 🎃 makes me realise I'd have to have my hotel room or safe-space ready for me after a club meet or whatever as social interactions can affect my energy's!! Presume if your not actually with the Domme or whoever you'd be off home anywayZ.....