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Best way to find a dom


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Hi all. I’m new to being a slave in fact I never have but I’d love to try. How does one go about meeting someone? I know that it is a lot harder for guys as women seem in inundated with messages/chat etc but surely there must be a way to start?


I am not totally sure how far I’ll go with things, I am pretty open minded and will talk about anything and open to ideas. 

It would just be nice to chat to women that can help me explore this side of me and help me to be able to understand it a bit more. Then maybe it might be easier for me to meet someone as not only will I know what to expect but also know what I’d want from them. 

any guidance is appreciated, especially on how to actually meet/chat with a woman who would be able to train me. 

thanks all

Its very important to remember to ask how they want serving. You're there to serve them. You'll do all you can to make their lives better and easier. Its all about their needs. Your needs are secondary but should be willing to be obedient but don't be afraid to talk about what you won't do. Be honest and up front.
Be aware of scammers and exploiters. They all want *** first and foremost before even meeting or talking on the phone.
Pro Dommes are different. They will help you in your exploring but it's not free and will talk on the phone.
Don't be surprised at the lack of replies to your messages. Women in general get inundated with them and it's exhausting.
Go to munches, clubs and events to meet in real life.
Above all, be polite, gentlemanly, patient and honest.
9 hours ago, Newcuriousslave said:

any guidance is appreciated, especially on how to actually meet/chat with a woman who would be able to train me

The whole concept of training is often one built in fantasy.

Most ladies do not have the emotional energy to spend "training" someone who then finds the whole thing isn't for him and then swans off.

Slave and protocol training can be part of role play in a relationship - or - also is common via sessions with a Pro.  Then at least if you decide it wasn't for you, she's compensated for her time.

If you shake off that idea.  It's a big boost.


Something to remember is nobody really wants to be your experiment.  Approaching someone as such is never going to end well.

Being involved - both on and off line - will help you make friends and broaden your knowledge.  You can then boost ideas on what you might want to try or what is/isn't for you.   Do reading and learning on your own.


  • 2 weeks later...

Hello! As people already said, munches / kink events, and getting to know people on a friendly level first will probably help you in finding a Dom. The more people you can connect with, the bigger your kink circle can grow :)

And personally speaking for myself, if you truly want a session with a Dom / Pro domme, you have to go out and make it happen. It might take a while, but keep researching for kink events and munches in your area, or even Pro dommes and they can help get you started and try some things (for a price, usually)

Best of luck!

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