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Munch Notes/Agenda - Sapiosexuality and Mindfuck Munch - 16th September 2021


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Sapiosexuality and Mindfuck Munch Notes

Host - @Thebian

Contributors- @PixieDust@lil-monster@Sara-Secrets@Thebian

 (Now there is a title begging to be censored 😊)


  • Let’s start with a definition of Sapiosexual.


(of a person) finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

"I met a PhD student from Germany who told me that he was sapiosexual"


a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

"I'm a sapiosexual and I like to talk"


  •  Well definitions are great but what does it really mean?

How do I know if I am Sapiosexual?

  1.   Are you aroused by someone’s ability to turn you on without actually touching you, using words, or their ability to communicate a silence.    ……    If so, you are probably Sapiosexual.
  2.  ·   Maybe they just ooze that kind of sexual or erotic charge you cannot put your finger on, but you can almost cut the sexual tension with a knife.
  3.  Is it just the ability to talk someone out of their clothes whether with intelligent conversation, humour, wit, or a mixture of them all that means no hands are really needed.


  •   So why are minds so damn sexy? (Yes, I am biased here. ;))
  1.   Our bodies are variable, but our minds are far more enduring.
  2.   The connection that there is between two people is a mental one. You could argue spiritual, but it is not just physical. There is that almost electric charge when the chemistry is right.
  3.  There are times when you read something that the phrasing it so powerful that you can feel it physically. The mental effect causes a physical reaction. - That is a sapiosexual reaction right there - Boom!
  4. Often mental to physical reactions can be heightened by using ‘power words.’  These are usually impactful adjectives, and they can accentuate positive triggers.
  5.   It may help to know that they can hit negative ones just as effectively. So have a care when reading mail from Randoms.


  • What else turns on a Sapiosexual does it have to be purely intellect and conversation? So, what other ways do you think of it? There are no wrong answers here. 
  1. Could it be going to a quiz night? 
  2. Perhaps attending an event of educational content?
  3.  Chatting in IM 
  4.  Sending texts
  5.  In fact there were a plethora of suggestions here that made it clear that Sapiosexual is a bit different to everyone, which considering our wonderfully diverse community is awesome!
  • Does Sapiosexuality rely purely on the intellect of one mind or can the intellect of many minds produce and evoke the same feelings?
  •  How does a Sapiosexual cope with lack of intelligent input? Do they go actively seeking?

I was very impressed here by the myriad of suggestions and positive input at this point. It certainly beat my answer which was going to be "I just talk to myself." :relaxed:

  •  Can a Sapiosexual overdose on intellectual input? When is enough, enough?

This seemed to depend on the angle being taken. No one had to much of someone being occasionally witty but constantly trying to get your knickers talked off can get a bit over the top. If you are Sapiosexual enough to say all the right things then knowing when not to is definitely a much sought after skill. (You can still think them though)


  •  What is the BDSM definition of a Mindfuck.

Within the confines of BDSM, it’s an attempt to intentionally temporarily destabilize, confuse, or manipulate the mind of your play partner, with the goal of releasing endorphins and adrenaline into their bloodstream, resulting in a psychological and physiological all-natural ‘high.’


Let me clarify that because this is where chaos broke out. A Mindfuck within BDSM is supposed to work within limits and ultimately be FUN.

As per usual with definitions it is not all that helpful. So, to start-


  •  What is not a Mindfuck?
  1. ·     If someone is trying to convince you that you are losing your mind it is not a mindfuck, it is probably gaslighting. Even if they say, “But Babe it was only a mindfuck.” I would hang big red flags all over it.
  2.  ·    It is the same with most narcissist and toxic behaviours they are not mindfucks.
  3.  -  To be doubly clear this is not the sort of vanilla mindfuck you hate , if you hate it , do not like it, makes you feel bad, or has negative psychological effects. You both need a sit down and a serious talk about what exactly you think a BDSM Mindfuck is. Or just run.



  • This is where I rather hope you will share your most ingenious mindfucks that you have heard of, experienced, or carried out.

Oh come on, do you really expect me to say anything other than they where incredibly inventive, mind bogglingly erotic and in a couple of cases I was taking notes.    But you missed it. :P.   


  •  I brought some along just in case.


  1. This Sunday I had the pleasure of feeling what a pizza cutter feels like with an electrical charge running through it, and weirdly it feels just like you are being cut. It is scarily similar. This could make an amazing Mindfuck if you just had the pizza cutter sitting in the bottoms line of sight and then said you were going to try something new. If you knew that knife play turned them on the current would make it feel as if it was cutting. Naturally it would not be it is an illusion.
  2. ·       There is another one in this vane, which uses a carving knife in the bottoms view but when the Top picks it up he swaps it for a butter knife. The feel of the cold steel, even though totally blunt peeks adrenaline levels as the image of the carving knife has already been planted.

  3. ·       While researching this I came across a mindfuck that all though it is not my kink impressed me for its ingenuity.

    The top had the bottom kneel blindfolded in the shower and when they said they were cold asked if they wanted to warm up. The bottom replied “Yes”.

    The top then realised his stream of warm liquid over the submissive, who recoiled at the thought at being urinated on, but he insisted she open her mouth.

    At this point he could not actually put the liquid in her mouth as it was not actually urine but just a warm liquid that was created specifically for the mindfuck.

  •   So why do we mindfuck?
  1. ·       The act of the mindfuck helps to make what might not be possible using either SSC, RACK, or PRICK possible to experience mentally.
  2.      It gives the heightened neuro chemical feedback that is associated with edge play without the associated physical risks.
  3.  So as opposed to the vanilla definition of Mindfuck we in BDSM mostly mindfuck because it is the safest way to deliver the required experience.


  •  It is important to remember that unless you are in a very well prearranged CnC dynamics with prearranged parameters and limits that all Mindfucks are consensual.

          Of course, there are times that consent cannot be gained for the mindfuck as an important factor is not knowing              it is a mindfuck.

         In these instances, consent should be gained for the action that is going to be perceived to be happening.

  • Even in a mindfuck safe words count, so if you use red it still means stop the scene or amber means pause and check in. Of course, your actual safe word may vary.

Just because it is not a reality does not void withdrawal of consent, in fact perception is by far more important in terms of consent.


Fetish.com - https://www.fetish.com/sapiosexual/

Fetish.com - https://www.fetish.com/magazine/fetish-scene/d-fetishes-sapiosexual-explained/

:point_up_2: Just in case you were after more reading on the subject.





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