How do you spot the fakes & Scammers

[TheBookCollector]

15 minutes ago, DarkSweetAngel said:

As I keep trying to make the same point on different topics, we are all different. Can we please stop generalising and putting everyone under the same umbrella? .‘ Fakes are definitely all people who are new here, haven’t written much in their profiles, don’t have photos, don’t comment in the forums, don’t have friends, are full time lurkers etc etc etc ‘. Seriously, I can’t stress this enough - we are all different and are here for different reasons. You can take the above under advisement but don’t be judge and jury . Use your gut feeling. Not everyone knows what to put on their profile initially, not everyone knows why they are here initially, not everyone has the confidence to comment publicly in the forum, not everyone knows what’s the right or expected way to start a conversation. So many posters on here complain of not finding what they are looking for. If you robotically follow a list and not use your common sense, the chances are , you are going to miss out on that one special person.
So please put away your long lists with things that ring a bell as someone ticking some of the items on the list has a much higher chance to simply be shy, new, unsure , than be a fake.

Sorry but there are a lot of profiles phishing for emails, sad men pretending to be women in order to run romance scams, or pretending to be findoms looking for suckers to bleed dry.

Not everyone on this site, fetlife, collarspace or any other dating site is genuine, the majority are, but the minority spoil it for the others, ive met some really good genuine people.through all the sites ive mentioned Ive also run across the fakes.

I take a negative and cautious approach to those who contact me.

[ge****]

22 minutes ago, DarkSweetAngel said:

As I keep trying to make the same point on different topics, we are all different. Can we please stop generalising and putting everyone under the same umbrella? .‘ Fakes are definitely all people who are new here, haven’t written much in their profiles, don’t have photos, don’t comment in the forums, don’t have friends, are full time lurkers etc etc etc ‘. Seriously, I can’t stress this enough - we are all different and are here for different reasons. You can take the above under advisement but don’t be judge and jury . Use your gut feeling. Not everyone knows what to put on their profile initially, not everyone knows why they are here initially, not everyone has the confidence to comment publicly in the forum, not everyone knows what’s the right or expected way to start a conversation. So many posters on here complain of not finding what they are looking for. If you robotically follow a list and not use your common sense, the chances are , you are going to miss out on that one special person.
So please put away your long lists with things that ring a bell as someone ticking some of the items on the list has a much higher chance to simply be shy, new, unsure , than be a fake.

I don't think anyone has suggested that any of those things automatically mean someone is fake - but they all can be flags too.

Ultimately as I said in my original post here it comes down to common sense, gut instinct and a little bit of due diligence to be able to pick out the fake from the genuine - and some of those flags are handy tools to use.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, TheBookCollector said:

I take a negative and cautious approach to those who contact me.

Hmm, I live in the UK. It rains often. Not all the time, but often enough. Do I take an umbrella with me every time I go out of my door? No. I hope for the best and I look out of my window and use my judgement. Sometimes I predict well, other times, I get a bit wet. I certainly don’t moan about the ***y horrible rainy weather every time I wake up before I have even looked outside. Nor do I think to myself, ‘well, it rained a few days this month so I am sure it will rain again today’. 

I understand there are people on here who are here for the wrong reason. I choose to believe that they are in the very small minority. I’ve been on here for years and have never come across anyone who was something else than what they claimed to be. Maybe it’s luck, maybe it’s other things, but like with everything else in life, everyone should use their own judgement and common sense. I personally believe that it’s good to inform people to be aware of something but not generalise in such a way that would reduce the chance of people finding their connection even further. It’s hard enough as it is. 

[Deleted Member]

9 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Ultimately as I said in my original post here it comes down to common sense, gut instinct and a little bit of due diligence to be able to pick out the fake from the genuine - and some of those flags are handy tools to use.

I agree with the above. There is however, a fine line between informing people and scaremongering, and I feel that some people on here, with somewhat jaded attitude ( possibly as a result of falling victims to a fake profile) , maybe going a bit overboard. We are all adults here - be informed and be mindful, but also be open minded and positive. If you expect to be scammed, these are the type of people you will attract. 
 

[Deleted Member]

36 minutes ago, MzJax said:

I can't speak for A/anyone else, but for clarity that's not what I said..nor what I meant. 

MzJax, I didn’t quote you - I listed what different people put in their posts. 

[Shenna]

I agree 100%  MzJax we have been here long enough and know enough about the types of people we may have come across. 

We know the types of styling these scammers do. 

The lists are helpful sometimes someone's gut gets carried away thinking yay someone found me. Gets called their sub in the first day of joining and because being new they get carried away and not listen to their gut due to excitement. 

We have lists to go by for a reason even if someone is shy we can understand they work differently. They may do small talk and nervous but they get there eventually. 

Scammers are more upfront with things and way over the top brave. They have a list too. to go off by. We may have lists but they have lists too. 

This is why we have lists. Yes gut instincts but head can sometimes ignore the gut feelings. 

So I agree 

[Mz****]

6 minutes ago, DarkSweetAngel said:

MzJax, I didn’t quote you - I listed what different people put in their posts. 

I know..but being as it was directly after mine I just wanted to clarify to save confusion.

[TheBookCollector]

34 minutes ago, DarkSweetAngel said:

Hmm, I live in the UK. It rains often. Not all the time, but often enough. Do I take an umbrella with me every time I go out of my door? No. I hope for the best and I look out of my window and use my judgement. Sometimes I predict well, other times, I get a bit wet. I certainly don’t moan about the ***y horrible rainy weather every time I wake up before I have even looked outside. Nor do I think to myself, ‘well, it rained a few days this month so I am sure it will rain again today’. 

I understand there are people on here who are here for the wrong reason. I choose to believe that they are in the very small minority. I’ve been on here for years and have never come across anyone who was something else than what they claimed to be. Maybe it’s luck, maybe it’s other things, but like with everything else in life, everyone should use their own judgement and common sense. I personally believe that it’s good to inform people to be aware of something but not generalise in such a way that would reduce the chance of people finding their connection even further. It’s hard enough as it is. 

For an example. I started talking to someone that had a profile stating they where in london.

After a few brief exchanges I asked where they where from, as it was clear english wasnt their primary language.

I was told berlin, so follow up question was how long have you been in london.

The response was i was only there for a holiday,

question back so you are back in berlin, response yes.

So lets chat face to face through the app. Response : not interested

The reason i asked for a face to face, was because theyd raised at least 4 of my eed flags

At no point did they visit my profile to read it (flag number 1)
Their profile was sparse (flag 2)
They lied about thier location (flag 3)
They couldnt define thier kinks (flag 4)
They wanted to move off site (flag 5)

Was i right to be suspicious or should i have continued on regardless because they where 'new' or cut and run then report the profile?

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, TheBookCollector said:

For an example. I started talking to someone that had a profile stating they where in london.

After a few brief exchanges I asked where they where from, as it was clear english wasnt their primary language.

I was told berlin, so follow up question was how long have you been in london.

The response was i was only there for a holiday,

question back so you are back in berlin, response yes.

So lets chat face to face through the app. Response : not interested

The reason i asked for a face to face, was because theyd raised at least 4 of my eed flags

At no point did they visit my profile to read it (flag number 1)
Their profile was sparse (flag 2)
They lied about thier location (flag 3)
They couldnt define thier kinks (flag 4)
They wanted to move off site (flag 5)

Was i right to be suspicious or should i have continued on regardless because they where 'new' or cut and run then report the profile?

No, I would have stopped at the holiday bit. You don’t need any further lists or tick exercises. 
I will say it again, lists work only under the right circumstances. The fact that they didn’t read your profile doesn’t mean it’s always a fake. The fact that there wasn’t much on the profile doesn’t mean it’s necessary a fake. The fact they lied about their locations, doesn’t mean it’s a fake. Plenty of people put a location different to their exact location for privacy purposes. Not being able to define their kinks isn’t necessary something that’s a red flag. You can define yours - great. Not everyone can. 
Moving off site - again, plenty of people do that, granted, not that fast but fetish can be a clunky platform for prolific exchanges. 
 

As I said, people should keep in mind what to look for and use the lists as a check list if they need to. In your case, it’s served you well, under the specific circumstances. But if as a result of the number of fakes you’ve encountered or suspected, you then start asking everyone to start a face to face chat within the first introductory exchanges, well, you will find few people wanting to engage. I am speaking hypothetically, not saying you do. 

[Vi****]

Hey everyone I can see that my post has brought out alot of passion and discussion which is great. Thanks for taking the time to posy and explain some things that perhaps wernt obvious to me. I will take away all the info and ultimately go with my gut, I'm a person who likes to give the benefit of the doubt, unless it's an outright rude or abusive message. Sadly I've had a fair few.
Being new here I have to say is very intimidating, I feel out if my depth alot of the time. But also am reassured there are some great folk on here too in this community. So thanks all, much appreciated. 🙏

[Atheistic]

There is no appropriate depth my dear. You are honest and your words are heartfelt. Your level of exp as well as your exp here is just as valid as anyone else's ( except catfish of course ;)

[na****]

Generally someone you’ve had relations with hun. You’re clearly a smart lady, we all make mistakes. Stay safe sweet 🥰

[TheBookCollector]

14 hours ago, DarkSweetAngel said:

I agree with the above. There is however, a fine line between informing people and scaremongering, and I feel that some people on here, with somewhat jaded attitude ( possibly as a result of falling victims to a fake profile) , maybe going a bit overboard. We are all adults here - be informed and be mindful, but also be open minded and positive. If you expect to be scammed, these are the type of people you will attract. 
 

I think there are very few people who can hand on heart claim they've never been caught out by a scammer or fake profile in some way, shape or form.

I will give people the benefit of the doubt, but always keeping a degree of skepticism, and yes i have a list of red flags, its not a checklist but something ive developed over 15 years to protect myself from wasting time on something that will never happen.

[ey****]

42 minutes ago, TheBookCollector said:

I think there are very few people who can hand on heart claim they've never been caught out by a scammer or fake profile in some way, shape or form.

yep - absolutely.

So, I've never parted cash to a scam - but - there's been a couple of times I've been at least suckered in for a bit.    

One time is probably going back 15 years, maybe more, joined a dating site and quickly got pinged by someone who felt it'd be easier/better for us to chat on cam -- the thing is, when I go back that far, this wasn't widely uncommon.  Like, you'd swap initial messages with someone and then get their ID for yahoo messenger or MSN to chat further - and often with cam on.

Her link took to a pay site (which probably wasn't a real cam site - but a front) when I quizzed on that she said how it was free to talk to her if I did x, y and z - and yeah, I imagine this would be a payment that went nowhere and potentially handing over card details.

---

Perhaps more recently - maybe about 3-4 years ago - I did get momentarily suckered by one of the Kinky Cove scams, not in the sense that I had some lady offering me unlimited play if I just paid for the dungeon - but that, I genuinely thought this was a possible thing (especially as I know there are, or at least were, dungeons you could stop overnight in) - but then I started checking some of the post codes and some of the pictures looked... familiar... and yep.   

The hotel rooms that don't exist is a general scam that a lot of sites like airbnb and such are often struck by.

---

I don't think anyone is unscammable or immune 

[TheBookCollector]

Ive heard about the dungeon scam, the secret dungeon in high wycombe still does over nights but its £290 for a friday for a couple and £240 the rest of the week.

[Vi****]

Funnily enough I was looking at the high Wycombe one yesterday and there's one in Brighton too.

[TheBookCollector]

The people that run wycombe are looking for a 200k investment to extend them out to other areas.

Theres also a dungeon in bedford called oubilette (spelling).

[ey****]

yeah - this is the problem

So there was Hoxton and Barnet which are both gone now - which is a shame, I've hired both overnight and have done a lot of filming in Hoxton over time. 

I believe it is possible to stay over in the Peacock Parlour 

I hadn't realised it was possible to stay over at Oubliette but, to be honest - I hadn't looked into it that much : I had emailed them about filming and never really heard back - so.. it will or won't happen one day, c'est la vie.

So yep, there are places like this do exist - so - claiming there to be a secret B+B chain of dungeons feels sound.  

[ey****]

But then a lot of this plays on how a lot of scams work.

Often taking a basis of what people know, or suspect, to be true - but then presenting them, almost, too good.

Throw in a few things it's difficult to verify... and... boom

Another one I don't think I was suckered into but was always sceptical about....    there was a company, or companies who claimed to specialise in adult movies.

That they were making movies which were sold exclusively to "overseas hotels" and offering paid work to everyone - sex or gender didn't matter - sexuality didn't matter.    You could sign up for the sex scenes or fetish scenes in pretty much any role or roles.

And how the scam played was pretty simple.  You would be invited to attend an interview. You would attend. You would be offered a chance.  They would then have you do a photoshoot for your portfolio - but you, of course, paid for the shoot. That was the scam.

And it was expensive - but - of course, nothing you wouldn't make back on your first shoot - and hey, low risk filming.

Looking at some of the forum threads on this - some people DID get invited to shoots but pretty much never saw the footage.  It feels like they would collect so much of the scam *** and every now and then book a shoot so it looked legitimate out of this ***.   Fuck knows what happened to the footage, but, regardless of what you thought was agreed once you've signed the release forms they can use the footage anywhere - so - even making a fake/mock scene they can at least sell it somewhere for a few quid back and keep collecting the scam ***.

[Vi****]

Wow that's actually very clever and so devious of them, the lengths some of them go too. Like you say if you attended the interview and had a shoot it all seems really legit. Very simple and even the most clued up of us could easily fall for that one.
What kind of filming do you do eyem? Is that your work.

[Vi****]

Forgive me I just realised it's fetish slave isn't it. Had the pandemic made this really difficult to do now for you.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Vic1077 said:

Forgive me I just realised it's fetish slave isn't it. Had the pandemic made this really difficult to do now for you.

Yeah - most my stuff is as a sub in films.  I do my own store/production also which is Femdom.

I have done stuff as a Dominant before, and straight up sex scenes

[ol****]

Edited

Edited December 1, 2021 by oldfellow

[ol****]

On 11/30/2021 at 12:44 PM, Vic1077 said:

Interestingly OldFellow I checked the profile hardly any info, no pic, and joined 3 months ago. No interaction on Any threads either. Hummm.

Maybe they have multiple log ins?

Some people are very location specific in their search

Some membership levels enable anonymous browsing

[na****]

Tuesday at 10:34 PM, naughtynat said:

Generally someone you’ve had relations with hun. You’re clearly a smart lady, we all make mistakes. Stay safe sweet 🥰

Stay far away from the Instagram enthusiasts. They too generally have a lot to hide, until you establish a trust. 😘