Trying Submission, would a Dom want an inexperienced switch?

[Vi****]

So I think I'm still quite inexperienced to the world of bdsm, though I've learnt that I am a switch if I have to pigeon hole myself.  I am a firm believer of going with the flow and being in the moment, sometimes I want to be in charge and inflict pain, be primal and dominate, well most of the time actually.  

But just lately especially after chatting with a Dom who has peaked my interest immensely, I'm finding myself wanting more and more to try submission. 

But as the dynamics I've read are more doms wanting scenes set etc, can the "go with the flow" element work? Isn't is more protocols and routine? Would I drive a dom crazy with my nievety I wonder. Doms would you play with a novice toppy switch??

 

Edited June 14, 2022 by Vic1077
Typo

[Be****]

RIP your inbox! 🙈

[Deleted Member]

This is interesting. I am feeling in that middle ground myself. I am not an assertive guy, I have a little experience with a submissive girl but that but that was just using my experience to push her past her limits. Which is something her previous doms had not done. I would not say I was a dominant but I have sort of pushed myself there. Not comfortable with it. I want to experience that submissive side. Be dominated by a woman. Humiliated! Not a slave but all the other aspects, yes. 

I think I might be cast in the 'Fake Dom' category. Is there no middle ground? Can no one take that person in hand to train and give experience. 

[ey****]

I think it's important to gather what you might want from a relationship along with what someone else might want.

Some Dominants don't like switches because they feel they are being judged by the other person.   Some don't care, but might not be able to satisfy the other persons switchy side. How much of a problem that is might vary. 

Others aren't massively strict high protocol so there might well be a balance that works for you both 

[Pl****]

I'm sure some people aren't into it, but I think a lot of people are fine with this. None of my relationships started with kink in mind, so they all started out fairly vanilla, and the d/s stuff came over time as trust was built. None of my partners were submissive beforehand, and some were even quite dominant, so it was all "go with the flow" for a while until the gravity of my strengths pulled us far enough in that direction. Relationships are different than single encounters though, so if you're just trying to have a one-off, your mileage may vary.

[Vi****]

21 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think it's important to gather what you might want from a relationship along with what someone else might want.

Some Dominants don't like switches because they feel they are being judged by the other person.   

Thanks Eyem, can you explain what would make them feel judged, what do you mean? thanks 😊 

[BadDesires]

Like everything I think it's important all partners understand the boundaries.

As a switch I think it's important to know which side of the line you fall on at a given time as randomly changing can be confusing especially if your partner is also a switch. If both of you clash roles it can become a nightmare.

If you're able to have different partners to satisfy the different needs then things could be easier to distinguish as there could be a structured chain of command.

Alternatively if you both switch then maybe agree a system. You could have an object (maybe a coin) which is owned by the dominant and agree a weekly process to swap it. Maybe the sub has to guess a coin toss to earn domainant privileges. The sub could also switch if the manage to steal the object when the dominant leaves it unguarded.

It all depends on what your partner is open to.

Can't speak for Dom's but some would enjoy the challenge of breaking a fellow Domme and others would be strictly interested in Submissives only.

Like everything you just need to communicate and experiment to see what works for you.

Hopefully my suggestion were not off tangent as I'd assume they could benefit others in a similar situation.

[ey****]

10 minutes ago, Vic1077 said:

Thanks Eyem, can you explain what would make them feel judged, what do you mean? thanks 😊 

some Dominants feel that some switchy submissives can top from the bottom a bit, or, might criticise (silently or not) how they would do it better

 

[Sh****]

Personally I wouldn't as i like my Submissive to be very feminine. However its all about what floats ya boat. As long as it works for you both of you happy days 😀😀😀☺️☺️

[ge****]

Like most things in life it comes down to communication and finding those on the same wavelength as you - so there's nothing to say a "go with the flow" approach can't work, but it needs two people prepared to do so - which would probably mean finding another switch, or leaving the D/s elements out of it completely and perhaps coming at it more from a "kink play on a level playing field" angle.
.
That said protocols and structure don't have to form part of a D/s scene either - it doesn't have to be all kneels, positions and "Sirs" - especially if just simply exploring each other and enjoying yourselves in a more relaxed way.

[Vi****]

2 hours ago, ShropshireDom70 said:

Personally I wouldn't as i like my Submissive to be very feminine. However its all about what floats ya boat. As long as it works for you both of you happy days 😀😀😀☺️☺️

Why would you think I couldn't be feminine 😏

[Lo****]

3 hours ago, ShropshireDom70 said:

Personally I wouldn't as i like my Submissive to be very feminine. However its all about what floats ya boat. As long as it works for you both of you happy days 😀😀😀☺️☺️

Are you saying dominant women can’t be feminine?

[DeviantInside]

I can’t speak for anyone else but for my part I have had no issue with someone being sub, switch or even primarily Domme. I have had the fortune to have been the only person a couple of pro Dommes have ever submitted to, and have had complete novices and people with yeas of experience as subs and slaves. And it makes no difference to me in any of those circumstances. The only thing that matters is my connection to the person and our specific dynamic. They’re not looking or expecting me to be anything I am not and I am more than happy to explore whatever naturally works between us.