my dom asked me to selfharm

[fl****]

months passed till i found the courage to open up about the things that still make me feel nauseous and dirty to this day. i was confused *** and new to this community and never had a dom and then i met him who i trusted blindly without a second thought bc who would’ve thought that someone would go out of their way to form a connection for 3+ months hurt to in the end hurt me and try to convince me that i like it. i was told to do stuff i didn’t really wanted to do but as a sub i needed to obey him and please him so i did stuff and ignored my feelings. i don’t want to go into details but i stopped and broke things off when he got creepy in a way where he sends me pictures of girls who looked like me, confused me with questions, and tried to manipulate me into self harming… that was my last straw and when i said that this is were i use my safe word he turned to be a completely different person. accused me of things, insulted me, made me feel dirty and on on on. i’m sharing this with people who feel uncomfortable and scared to be brave and stand up for themselves. don’t do stuff you don’t feel comfortable with and trust ur gut when it tells you that you have enough. you are a free person and deserve better !

[Deleted Member]

Firstly, massively proud of you for having the courage to talk about this! Can't have been easy
Obviously this is despicable and abhorrent, frankly this person is the worst kind of human and deserves to have their balls cut off and roasted on a fire 🔥
Hope you have a good support bubble to deal with this tho, if you're struggling maybe therapy or something? It's a big thing to get over, that level of trust being broken and you may find it helps with processing that, it may not tho, everyone is different

Hope you have better experiences in the future!!

[gr****]

👍👍👍👍

[dp****]

You found yourself someone that was not a real Dom, a real Dom would always have respect for his submissive's bdsm limits as without a submissive's voluntary consent a Dom has no power

[Wolfrick]

I'm sorry you dealt with scum like that a Dom should help their sub grow as a person not cause them harm to their well-being I as a person not as a Dom am proud of you for cutting that influence and opening up to further your healing process my inbox is open if you need a sympathetic ear to rant or vent to*hugs are offered if you want them*

[Lord_Talion]

I hope you didn't do anything that caused permanent harm, even mental harm is bad.

Such stories like this are exactly what the community needs so others can learn from your experiences.

Maybe now you'll be able to let go of past mistakes and do what's needed to be the best YOU that only you could be.

[TheMuseHunter]

I'm with pretty much everyone above. Trust is earned then submission is given don't trust the Dom don't submit. A Dom should respect limits set by the sub

[Deleted Member]

Thankyou for being brave enough to speak up about this ❤

[Deleted Member]

I am Sorry to hear you had this experience and I hope you where able to have the strength to say no before doing anything. It’s a shame that there are people here trying to make you cause harm to yourself. Thank you for sharing and I hope this message gets widely seen.

[Matttster]

I would like to thank you for sharing!

I have had had submissive friends have poor experiences. There are those people out there that are abusive (mentally and/or physically) as well as people that do not really understand what kink is about (they think that stuff they see on some porn site is kink).

I hope that some other submissives see this and it helps them realize how careful they have to be about seeking a Dom as well as learn from you that you can say no to your Top and tell him/her to fuck off.

I hope this does not push you away from the world of kink. There are good Tops out there and kink can be an amazing thing with the right partner.

[AKA_Copper]

I'm so very glad you were able to see what was happening to you. You're clearly a very strong person to share your experience to warn others, letting them know that it's ok to have boundaries, have respect for ourselves and that its wholly acceptable to say no/remove ourselves from the situation.

And Dtypes, when people post about this sort of ***, they are not looking for advice, it's often too late for that. They are looking for understanding, and they are trying to raise awareness of the type of behaviour that was being used, so that others can identify it so that they can do something in person when they see it happening.
Listen to the stories you come across, keep what was said in mind, use that to help when you see it. We can all do better.

[Deleted Member]

Firstly I would like to thank you for having the courage to speak out against this type of behavior. It's unacceptable for anyone to push you to do things past your limits. So many subs I have run across want to take that state of mind to an extreme that they have to please and obey their Dom no matter what. It's as much of a give and take for the dom as it is for the sub. I have a beautiful wonderful sub who has that exact same State of mind, I have to constantly ask questions to her about how these actions would make her feel and command her to be honest with me about her answers. I think people might be surprised how common common this sub psychology is. It's also unfortunate that some people who wear the dom moniker Choose to wear this title as a type of excuse to *** and neglect their subs. It's an unfortunate reality but nevertheless an unacceptable one. My only advice to this type of situation is to vet vet vet. No one wants to be on the shit end of this stick. Also a real dom will hear and respect your limits, So just because you're submissive that doesn't mean you have to submit to everything. When you find the right Dom you'll be able to be open honest and you will feel safe most importantly. Good luck to you in your future I hope this never happens to any of you.

[ro****]

I’m so sorry you went through this. Thank you for telling your story. It takes a lot of bravery and strength to do so!