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Red flags

By Deleted Member
in New to BDSM, Kink & Fetish?

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Deleted Member

Posted

If you contact a dominatrix/mistress, with a view to being their new toy, and they straight ask to go to hang outs or one of the other message sites; that's a massive red flag, yes?

musubu

musubu

Posted
Of something seems to good to be true then it probably is too good to be true.
ey****

ey****

Posted

Usually. Yes.

But approaching someone with a view to be their toy is, for anyone 'genuine' going to set off red flags about you. 

Deleted Member

Posted
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1 minute ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Usually. Yes.

But approaching someone with a view to be their toy is, for anyone 'genuine' going to set off red flags about you. 

I probably phrased that incorrectly. That would not be the wording I would use. Just my terminology 

musubu

musubu

Posted
Opening or early Lines like 'are you ready to serve your Mistress' - red flag
Du****

Du****

Posted
Absolutely yes, that is the hallmark of a scammer. Report it. For my own safety I never message off-platform because there are protections in place on here that aren’t available elsewhere (certainly not until I’ve had a chance to get to know someone anyway).
musubu

musubu

Posted
Misspelling or incorrect use of dominant, dominance, dominate - Red flag
Ju****

Ju****

Posted
What concerns me about that is the instant seeming, can i be your new toy.

Kinksters are people not dispensers unless youre approaching a pro domme.
No wonder you get scammy pants "dominants" if men are offering themselves up without knowing someone in great detail first.

But thats my two cents. Sorry if it offends.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
Seems that scammers love to use the word "seeking" instead of "looking" as well. Flag for me.
Or****

Or****

Posted
Yes usually a sign that they are soliciting which often gets banned on these sights so if they try to get some customers off the platform before they get the banhammer. Nothing against SWs by the way just how it goes from what I've seen.

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author

I would be wary of anyone, Dom(me) or sub, who immediately wants to communicate on a different platform. The question to ask your self is why they would want to so early in a conversation.
The usual reason (a red flag as you put it), is because conversations off site aren't monitored as they are on Fetish.

ey****

ey****

Posted
1 minute ago, Finally_Jen said:

No wonder you get scammy pants "dominants" if men are offering themselves up without knowing someone in great detail first.

100% true

The 'genuine' people go "ugh" and delete/ignore

the scammers go "ooh, looks like meat is on the menu!"

and in between you've got people who offer any form of paid service who are either flippantly "sure, pay me" or think you are approaching seeking a paid arrangement and reply accordingly.  

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
1 minute ago, Finally_Jen said:

What concerns me about that is the instant seeming, can i be your new toy.

Kinksters are people not dispensers unless youre approaching a pro domme.
No wonder you get scammy pants "dominants" if men are offering themselves up without knowing someone in great detail first.

But thats my two cents. Sorry if it offends.

No, it's ok. I replied earlier that my statement was not the actual wording I would use. Just my terminology. It is a mistake of mine. I should not do it because it gives people the wrong idea. I understand that and still do it LOL

Deleted Member

Posted
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A request to specifically use Hangouts, for me, is a red flag full stop, it's been an app of choice for a lot of online scammers since it was launched.

Deleted Member

Posted
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This has nothing to do with a red flag, but with common sense. For scams on the internet you need two parties. The scammer, and the one who lets himself be scammed. As long as you have made it clear to yourself that you are not sending ***, or giving gift cards, or calling credit, you are safe and the platform does not play a role. If you are asked, block immediately without warning.

Deleted Member

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2 minutes ago, Traveler said:

This has nothing to do with a red flag, but with common sense. For scams on the internet you need two parties. The scammer, and the one who lets himself be scammed. As long as you have made it clear to yourself that you are not sending ***, or giving gift cards, or calling credit, you are safe and the platform does not play a role. If you are asked, block immediately without warning.

I follow that procedure. Worryingly I have started to get the same thing from profiles supposedly in the UK. Don't know why I thought it might be different. I have actually said, "You do realise this is a huge red flag asking this"? Then they either say goodbye or block me .

ey****

ey****

Posted

I think there's a lot where common sense needs to be applied at every step
Someone contacts you - kinda, why... and a lot following the scripts are very easy to spot because they will contact you, run through a few questions that make little sense and then try to push you off site as quickly as possible before their profile gets deleted

they are easy to spot

but in contacting others.... you contact any form of scammer, they're going to reply.  So when guys say "only scammers reply" it usually screams that they're sending poor messages and/or messaging a lot of people

Use a little bit due diligence in reading the profile of the person you are contacting.  Does it feel too good to be true? Does it either lack information, or, feel like you've read it before? (if in doubt - a google text search)  have at least a little care in who you're contacting because, if nothing else, having a lack of care is offputting to those you're trying to attract.

If you do reach out to someone - if they're trying to take you off site then, where?  Hangouts is a big choice of scammers

WhatsApp, less so, but this is then on you - how sure are you they are real?

I do actually have a bunch of people I've chatted to who've done the "I don't use this often, do you have whatsapp?" or I have talked to on there, and have met, and are most definitely real - but I did have confidence in that first 

Deleted Member

Posted
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it's normal to take it to other apps if the plan is to use video chat or something, or to meet up. ive added lots of people and talked to them for way longer than i would have otherwise. it's suspicious if you don't in my opinion.
but yes if they don't call you in voice or vid, or start talking about crypto, or send scripted lines, it's a scam.
getting out of texts is the fastest way to build familiarity and prove someone is real and has serious intentions.
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