Longterm wearing of bondage gear

[Deleted Member]

What are your thoughts on longterm wearing of bondage gear?

In particular, maybe a small diameter metal collar or wrist/ankle rings during daily life?

Is this something people do? Have you done it? Would you do it?

I find the thought very erotic but perhaps it's a completely unrealistic idea. How reasonable would the request be viewed as?

[Deleted Member]

I think this topic varies from partner to partner. It's really up to the practitioners if they both consent to what you're describing. I personally think it would be erotic under the right circumstances but I haven't ever done this myself.

[dp****]

Very erotic thought especially if you are owned but not at all practical if you have any vanilla life to live

[Deleted Member]

47 minutes ago, dpugd said:

Very erotic thought especially if you are owned but not at all practical if you have any vanilla life to live

Is it that obvious though? For women if anyone asks couldn't it be called a necklace or bracelet?

[ey****]

I've seen people wear BDSM collars in public

to me, I recognise it as a collar and that they're owned.   

To others it's nice jewellery.

Also add in of course a lot of overlaps in fashion, especially goth/punk/etc 

So in ways it becomes that you are always wearing it and it means something to your dynamic, but not everyone would be aware of it or it's meaning 

[Lo****]

There are lots of quite subtle day collars on the market. Some are thin metal. Most have padlocks or some kind of symbolism on them. Lots of these types of collars are worn as fashion by non kinky types, so it wouldn’t be immediately obvious that it was BDSM unless you preferred something less subtle. 

[slavewife]

i have a silver collar which i wear 24/7 and is held together with a padlock that my master has the key for. im a boss at work and also deal with the public but nobody asks why or what it is . for me its my bond between us not for any others. i have my old one thats leather around my wrist as it was our first ever one and i have grown to attached to it i cant let go . i also have an ankle bracelet that are handcuffs . but others have pieces of jewellery that symbolises them and the bond they have its all depends on what you talk about and if comfy wearing a collar then do . nobody really these days questions it . hope this helps xx

[Deleted Member]

Wearing a very tight fitting stiff starched shirt collar with a snuggly knotted necktie, can achieve this (for male or female). Best part is your wearing a collar it can be as restrictive as desired, and you can wear it largely unnoticed in public.

[PanamaJoe]

My biggest problem with wearing bondage gear is - what happens if you're in an accident and need to go to the hospital?   Besides the embarrassment of doctors seeing your un-removable bondage gear (which they will need to record in their logs), there is also a question of - will the specific gear you are wearing prevent the doctors from intubating and saving your life in the case of a crushed larynx?

While I sympathize and agree that wearing bondage gear is sexy... it's still bondage, whether the person can move around or not.   And it's your responsibility to be close by and free them if the need ever arises.   That is if you are not incapacitated in the accident as well.   This is the same reason why you never leave your partner alone when they are in bondage unless you have a good third backup partner.   Even leaving someone at home while you go to the corner store - doesn't prevent a reckless driver from running you over and leaving your bound sub in peril.

As for the wrist and ankle rings... what if you need to do an emergency MRI?   Metal is not allowed in an MRI machine.   Honestly... keep the bondage to the bedroom, unless you can find a third and maybe even a fourth person who can jump in and help if needed.   Sorry for being such a downer... but for me, safety is first, and it should be for everyone else.

[Deleted Member]

Panama Joe, it's good to be safety conscious, but your worrying about a very unlikely specific set of circumstances. It's almost like factoring in what if I won the lottery to decision making as a comparison example. I've known people that don't wish to drive or fly in case there is an accident. Not unlegit views perhaps, but it's essentially limiting your options based on unlikely worst case scenarios.

Edited June 29, 2022 by Deleted Member

[PanamaJoe]

I think you can gamble with your own life - but even a negligible risk placed on another without forethought can never be acceptable.   If you want to wear bondage gear... go for it.   But as soon as you pass those keys to someone else - that other person now has a legal responsibility to ensure your health and safety to the best of their ability.   I would never take such a risk for someone else outside of the controlled environment of my home or property.

The odds for winning the lottery - are much lower than getting hit by lightning - which is much lower than being in a car accident.   As unlikely as it is for an accident to happen while wearing bondage gear, it is a fallacy to compare them to winning the lottery.   It is still much, much more likely that an accident will happen by comparison.   This is why we have rules in the community - not for the accidents which are likely to happen - but to mitigate the unforeseen disasters.   A person can slip on ice, a flying baseball can hit them in the head or neck, they can trip on a crack in the road, a bird can poop on their head making them look up causing them to crash into a lamp post, a bicyclist can run them down.   A million accidents happen every day - and if you are wearing something that can impede medical personnel from helping you, then you are at a greater risk of serious injury and death.   There's culpability in that.   The same can be said about things like not wearing a seat belt - you can choose to not wear one - but you cannot choose to have your kids not be buckled in the back seat.   You have a responsibility to keep your kids as safe as possible.

Ultimately - it's up to you to decide what games to play - but I suggest to stick to the rules of BDSM play when practicing any form of BDSM.   And the biggest rule of BDSM is to never leave your sub unattended when they are practicing ANT form of BDSM.   Even for something as trivial as bondage gear.   As much as I understand everyone's wish to have fun, it would be wrong to ever throw caution to the wind when playing these games and think that the risks outside are the same as in your bedroom.   At the end of the day, if disaster strikes, the question will be asked - what did you do and what else could you have done to mitigate that person's sustained injuries.   It's up to you if you want to take that risk by extending your play to outside the home, but for the sake of having a bit of an extra thrill is very poor payback for the extra risks you are taking.   Which is also very different when comparing risks to rewards when driving cars or flying planes.   A better comparison may be sky diving or bungee jumping.   Personally... I think a bit of an extra thrill can never justify the extra risk... but to each his own.

Stay safe people - I don't like the idea of losing potential playmates.