Lo**** Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 Honestly, I’ve been having this conversation with this one bloke for months and months now. We’ve talked about cooking, gardening, our children, past relationships, even our goddamned laundry! It’s unbelievable that this guy thinks it’s ok to talk about all these different topics on an actual fetish site. Seriously? Obviously, we’ve talked about BDSM as well and there’s been lots of innuendo sprinkled in amongst the non-BDSM stuff, but how weird that this guy thinks he can treat me like a actual human being on an actual fetish site. Crazy! Now, this other guy who messaged me tonight - he really gets it! “You're a super freak, super FREAK! And I like it… 🙃” That’s what women expect on fetish sites! How dare some of you treat us like normal people! (Thank you - you know who you are 😘)
Deleted Member Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 If after a few months you have not met, then chances are this is just a fantasy and nothing will come of it. Great he talks to you like a human being, but where's the solid real life outcome?
ge**** Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 4 minutes ago, PoisonJohnny said: If after a few months you have not met, then chances are this is just a fantasy and nothing will come of it. Great he talks to you like a human being, but where's the solid real life outcome? I think you'll find there was a sprinkling of both irony and sarcasm in Lockfairy's post 😉 . And there's plenty of solid real life outcome from spending time getting to know people and not just their kink - it's how connections are built and chemistry established. . In fact it's rare for any discussions I have on sites like this to get sexual, and certainly not initially, because I'd rather get to know the person than their kink to begin with.
CopperKnob Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 13 minutes ago, PoisonJohnny said: If after a few months you have not met, then chances are this is just a fantasy and nothing will come of it. Great he talks to you like a human being, but where's the solid real life outcome? Yay, optimism!! I spent 5mths chatting to someone here and we did actually meet!
Deleted Member Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 @gemini_man I get the irony and sarcasm. My point wasn't that people can't get to know each other outside of their kinks, but that 3 months of online talking is a red flag that its nothing more than that, online flirting. If two adults are happy with just that, great, but personally I wouldn't invest my time and energy in someone that has no plans to make it real. Its self defeating regardless of how little sexual chat there is.
ge**** Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 3 minutes ago, PoisonJohnny said: @gemini_man I get the irony and sarcasm. My point wasn't that people can't get to know each other outside of their kinks, but that 3 months of online talking is a red flag that its nothing more than that, online flirting. If two adults are happy with just that, great, but personally I wouldn't invest my time and energy in someone that has no plans to make it real. Its self defeating regardless of how little sexual chat there is. For you perhaps but not for all - fastest I ever met anyone from initial message was 3 weeks, average has been 2-3 months - and I've had some fantastic times as a result.
ge**** Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 7 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: I know who sent you the superfreak message 😂😂 I got one of those the other day too - forget who from but I took it as a compliment 😃
Blzbob_redux Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 1 hour ago, Lockfairy said: Honestly, I’ve been having this conversation with this one bloke for months and months now. We’ve talked about cooking, gardening, our children, past relationships, even our goddamned laundry! It’s unbelievable that this guy thinks it’s ok to talk about all these different topics on an actual fetish site. Seriously? Obviously, we’ve talked about BDSM as well and there’s been lots of innuendo sprinkled in amongst the non-BDSM stuff, but how weird that this guy thinks he can treat me like a actual human being on an actual fetish site. Crazy! Now, this other guy who messaged me tonight - he really gets it! “You're a super freak, super FREAK! And I like it… 🙃” That’s what women expect on fetish sites! How dare some of you treat us like normal people! (Thank you - you know who you are 😘) Wow someone dared to treat you like an actual human here. That's shocking we need to be aware of that as it's not normal behaviour. Thankfully the second fella restored the level of normalcy we have come to know and expect 😁
Deleted Member Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 (edited) @CopperKnob That's great. However, I find three to four weeks is the sweet spot for switching from online to offline. You learn far more in person than you do by simple online communication. Sometimes reality doesn't match up with the picture you have in your head and I would rather know sooner than mess about for months on end and potentially have wasted my time and energy. Edited July 2, 2022 by Deleted Member
Ar**** Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 14 minutes ago, gemini_man said: For you perhaps but not for all - fastest I ever met anyone from initial message was 3 weeks, average has been 2-3 months - and I've had some fantastic times as a result. Agreed, I've met people from here after talking for timescales along a scale of about a day and a half (which no, I'm not proud of) to around nine months, and generally speaking the ones which took longer are the ones which have been more rewarding and are people with whom I'm still in touch.
Go**** Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 1 hour ago, PoisonJohnny said: If after a few months you have not met, then chances are this is just a fantasy and nothing will come of it. Great he talks to you like a human being, but where's the solid real life outcome? I disagree. I spoke to someone for months on another fetish site before we met up. That became a great relationship. Your personal experiences are not necessarily the experience that others will have, and there are also people, like myself, who would rather spend longer getting to know someone. To begin with, I find that easier online.
Go**** Posted July 2, 2022 Posted July 2, 2022 It's such a disgrace these people thinking they can come into our inboxes and treat us like real human beings, with feelings and interests and everything! Well done that superfreak messenger! (I've had that one too 🤣)
Deleted Member Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 21 minutes ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said: I disagree. I spoke to someone for months on another fetish site before we met up. That became a great relationship. Your personal experiences are not necessarily the experience that others will have, and there are also people, like myself, who would rather spend longer getting to know someone. To begin with, I find that easier online. No problem with you disagreeing. Your experience is anecdotal here too. My point is, and I still maintain that meeting someone early on, after three or four weeks is more illuminating than continuing to solely talk online for many more months. I really do question the rationale of waiting, as that kind of hesitancy is a red flag in my eyes, especially if both parties are allegedly so into each other they are fantasising about cooking, gardening etc with each other. I understand some people think different so this will be the last I say.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 1 hour ago, PoisonJohnny said: If after a few months you have not met, then chances are this is just a fantasy and nothing will come of it. Great he talks to you like a human being, but where's the solid real life outcome? Um … who said I haven’t met him? 😂
Ar**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 12 minutes ago, PoisonJohnny said: My point is, and I still maintain that meeting someone early on, after three or four weeks is more illuminating than continuing to solely talk online for many more months. I really do question the rationale of waiting, as that kind of hesitancy is a red flag in my eyes, especially if both parties are allegedly so into each other they are fantasising about cooking, gardening etc with each other. I do see where you are coming from, life is too short to wait for waiting's sake. I wonder if perhaps the difference between yourself and some others who have commented (including myself) is how communication began? If you start talking to somebody and from the off you are both eyeing each other up as a potential date, three to four weeks to meet seems a very sensible timescale. Whereas many people often begin our interactions here with people on a purely social/platonic basis, from which a friendship will grow and then a potential interest in developing the relationship further. I suspect that is how many people can often reach several months of communication or longer before meeting, I know it is with me.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 1 hour ago, PoisonJohnny said: @gemini_man I get the irony and sarcasm. My point wasn't that people can't get to know each other outside of their kinks, but that 3 months of online talking is a red flag that its nothing more than that, online flirting. If two adults are happy with just that, great, but personally I wouldn't invest my time and energy in someone that has no plans to make it real. Its self defeating regardless of how little sexual chat there is. Actually, it’s nearer four months. And I’m the reason it hasn’t gone further yet, not him. Some people understand that another person isn’t quite ready to start something new and they have the patience to wait.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 26 minutes ago, PoisonJohnny said: No problem with you disagreeing. Your experience is anecdotal here too. My point is, and I still maintain that meeting someone early on, after three or four weeks is more illuminating than continuing to solely talk online for many more months. I really do question the rationale of waiting, as that kind of hesitancy is a red flag in my eyes, especially if both parties are allegedly so into each other they are fantasising about cooking, gardening etc with each other. I understand some people think different so this will be the last I say. I love that you have misunderstood almost every single part of my post. I have never fantasised about cooking or gardening with someone else 😂
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, CopperKnob said: I know who sent you the superfreak message 😂😂 2 hours ago, gemini_man said: I got one of those the other day too - forget who from but I took it as a compliment 😃 1 hour ago, GoodGirlBetterBrat said: Well done that superfreak messenger! (I've had that one too 🤣) I did think about starting a thread asking who else had got that one 😂 Edited July 3, 2022 by Lockfairy
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 (edited) . Edited July 3, 2022 by Lockfairy Repeat post.
DeviantInside Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, PoisonJohnny said: No problem with you disagreeing. Your experience is anecdotal here too. My point is, and I still maintain that meeting someone early on, after three or four weeks is more illuminating than continuing to solely talk online for many more months. I really do question the rationale of waiting, as that kind of hesitancy is a red flag in my eyes, especially if both parties are allegedly so into each other they are fantasising about cooking, gardening etc with each other. I understand some people think different so this will be the last I say. Now my hot take on this (or at least mildly tepid take) is that absolutely do what works for you. For me I never put a time scale on anything, I more or less leave that to whoever I’m chatting to as to what makes them comfortable, it doesn’t bother me, it’s more important that they’re at their ease. I’m fully aware that I have less to worry about when it comes to arranging to meet, so am happy to wait. All of my most successful relationships have come after months of talking, a couple even from talking without initially having any other intent. That’s even ignoring that there may be completely valid reasons for taking time to meet beyond taking things at a pace that makes both parties comfortable and feel secure, things like distance, real life commitments etc etc. As I say by all means keep to your sweet spot that works for you, but my experience is very different. As for talking about cooking and gardening however? On a kink site? Bring out the pitchforks and burning torches! This will not stand! Edited July 3, 2022 by DeviantInside
Vi**** Posted July 3, 2022 Posted July 3, 2022 4 hours ago, Lockfairy said: I did think about starting a thread asking who else had got that one 😂 Well now I'm feeling left out!!!!
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 2 hours ago, DeviantInside said: As for talking about cooking and gardening however? On a kink site? Bring out the pitchforks and burning torches! This will not stand! *dons fire-retardant stab vest … I do love a shrubbery though.
Lo**** Posted July 3, 2022 Author Posted July 3, 2022 8 minutes ago, Vic1077 said: Well now I'm feeling left out!!!! 😂 I’m sure he’ll get round to you soon 😂
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