Male behaviour/men suck/guys are abusive/ etc forum posts

[Ar****]

4 minutes ago, Mathbro said:

Some men do shitty things, I don't debate this - but I don't think it's the majority nor do I think it's the cause of most mens lack of success on these platforms.

If tinder is any indication, I think at least 60-70% of the men on in it are not happy.

I think that here, we reach some common ground. One of the biggest troubles with online forums is that, as with text messages and DMs, the nuances of body language, facial expression, intonation and such are lost. Isn't it said that only around 10% of what we communicate comes from the actual words themselves? And that can often cause a lot of issues in an environment such as this.

I'll certainly agree with you that I don't think it's the majority, and I'd wager that most other people - including some if not all of those whom you might have butted heads with recently - feel that way too. Similarly I'll also agree that shitty behaviour isn't responsible for most men's lack of success. The gender ratio is certainly partially responsible for that, but not the be all and end all.

I don't know anybody of any gender who has been happy with Tindr (I'm aware there are some), it's a grim place 😅

[ey****]

4 hours ago, Mathbro said:

I think there are a lot of OK men who are not successful with OLD but would pair up with the same woman if they met in person

I think the answer is in there.

Obviously on one hand this plays into the "I know she would like me if we just met..."

but

Go out and meet people.  Turn up at munches, fetish events, so on.  And, yes, it easier to stand out because just by showing up you've already stood out and shown you're serious about meeting

[Deleted Member]

17 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I think the answer is in there.

Obviously on one hand this plays into the "I know she would like me if we just met..."

but

Go out and meet people.  Turn up at munches, fetish events, so on.  And, yes, it easier to stand out because just by showing up you've already stood out and shown you're serious about meeting

Speaking of myself, I have issues with the local communities, so I avoid them thus online it is. But for meeting regular woman yeah in person is better though I do OK on regular dating sites. 

[ey****]

6 hours ago, NineInchNailsYou said:

I'm an egalitarian and I think true equality is treating people the same irregardless of their gender or other characteristics....am I wrong in this regard?

the problem with a lot in egalitarianism is it sometimes misses the bigger problem that - while striving for true equality is great, some groups are already more inequal

there's also the problem of course with equality that - I can't share the graphic but the one where there's 3 kids of different height trying to peak over the fence at a baseball game and treating them all the same involves giving them all one box that's the same size.  The tallest kid didn't needed it, and the shortest still can't see.  But they're all treat the same, right?   

So instead it's a case of looking at which one needs to give the appropriate support to.  (or, better still, removing the fence so they can all see as the barrier is removed) 

 

[ey****]

6 hours ago, Mathbro said:

A pervasive fallacy that accompanies this behavior is the position that if you have poor interactions it must be because you did something wrong. Goes along with the simping/women-do-no-wrong attitude. 

Some men send poor messages, this doesn't mean women are great.   

I think one of the first things to learn is that someone can do everything seemingly right and still not get the results they desire as they cannot control how the other person will act or respond.  This is a very important lesson to learn sometimes.

And of course all women aren't great - and even many of the great ones aren't compatible with what I/we/whoever seeks (or, maybe they are - but we're not to them) but there's so much that we as men do not have to put up with from them, which they do from (some of) us

I have never had graphically sexual messages from women (I have from men...) although I suspect also many men would enjoy it if they did 

[ge****]

6 hours ago, Mathbro said:

This is a supply and demand issue, nothing more. If all men did this there would be some other criteria women selected for. If you switch the sex ratios the opposite would be happening. Which is why when men complain about this or OLD in general the premise that it's their fault is fundamentally flawed - it's like saying everyone can reach the top %20, it's simply not possible.    

While it's true that there is indeed a number imbalance that means there isn't a woman for every man, and also true that if all men behaved reasonably and rationally and had the right approach, attitude etc that the number imbalance would have a bearing - I'm also of the belief that if you took away all those guys that simply don't "get" it and how these sites work, that the balance would be a lot more level.
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So for those guys that "get" it, who do have the right attitude, approach and expectations, it's far from a supply and demand issue and they're for the most part happy with their experience - and I say this having been on many sites like this over the years and seen the same issues time and again.
.
Consider this too, if men didn't behave so shittily towards women on sites like this (and, as I said further up, it may not be a majority that do, but it's certainly a big enough proportion) perhaps more women would join and address that number imbalance a little - I've known many women who have become overwhelmed or found the level of abusive messages too much on sites like this and deleted their profiles as a result - if they knew they could join without receiving a tonne of messages of the type they regularly call out then perhaps more would stay.

[ey****]

6 hours ago, Mathbro said:

men rush in to get good boy points in hopes of getting something

see; this is often a problem - that - there are a lot of men who contribute and want to do the right thing who want to add to the kinda knowledge pool and then people try to just brush them away as either simping, white knighting, or collecting good boy points.

now, I'm not saying myself or any of the other guys are right or wrong - but most of us are somewhat happy in what we get out of stuff.  I mean, shortly you're all going to get peace and quiet from me because I'm about to get on a train for a play date.  Not my first, nor my last, this summer (let alone this year) 

[ca****]

You only have to meet 2 people (in life), to realise that 'generalisation' is going to be 'off the mark'.

 

Yet we all do it, don't we

 

Do we?

[Deleted Member]

It's all about advertising. If someone has a lot of, he has to advertise a lot 😂😂

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, sigbro said:

Of course, women are in demand here so they can complain more and men rush in to get good boy points in hopes of getting something. Different setting you get different behavior.

I've noticed that daily theme too. It's quite in your face, so hard not to. Most females don't like being challenged even when it's fair and reasonable. You can spot a group trend very quickly, I.e. the same 5 liking each others comments, and sticking together peddling and regurgitating the same narrative. It a right union structure that dominates and dictates. As a man it would be easy to join such a club to increase your prospects, but then what sort of pretence and foundation is that for building relationships really, its unhealthy and counter productive.

[Ar****]

4 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

Most females don't like being challenged even when it's fair and reasonable.

Hello kettle, I'm pot 👋

 

8 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

I.e. the same 5 liking each others comments, and sticking together peddling and regurgitating the same narrative. It a right union structure that dominates and dictates.

Shall we have a recount for the floor, out of people in this "union structure" and yourself, who has had to have any of their comments deleted in the past couple of days? Come on, don't be shy, hold your hand up everyone - accountability is attractive.

What do the results tell us? In fact, no - I want to hear your spin on it. What does it tell you?

[Deleted Member]

 

On 7/5/2022 at 10:51 PM, TxFrank said:

If it bothers you, congratulations. You're probably the target audience.

Correct. But your only targeted if let yourself be so. Block list has fair filled up, it's just easier, you know its always there but if you can't see it... out of sight, out of mind.

[ge****]

2 hours ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

I've noticed that daily theme too. It's quite in your face, so hard not to. Most females don't like being challenged even when it's fair and reasonable. You can spot a group trend very quickly, I.e. the same 5 liking each others comments, and sticking together peddling and regurgitating the same narrative. It a right union structure that dominates and dictates. As a man it would be easy to join such a club to increase your prospects, but then what sort of pretence and foundation is that for building relationships really, its unhealthy and counter productive.

Or perhaps the men that sing from the same hymn sheet as this supposed dark union (which is laughable in itself) just happen to understand and get the problems faced by women on sites like this so just have the same opinion with no narrative of the type you suggest in the slightest.
.
As eyem (I think) said it's an oft thrown out thing that some men "white knight" or "simp" to curry favour - and usually thrown in a dismissive way by men who hold an opposing view with the aim of "doing down" or point scoring somehow - I don't disagree that white knights exist, but more often than not when I see fingers of that ilk being pointed, it's totally unjustified and the person with the same opinion as women merely holds the same opinion with no hidden agenda at all.
.
As for "most" females not liking being challenged not sure what you have to back that up, but in my experience many women take fair criticism/challenges just as well as men.

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, gemini_man said:

As for "most" females not liking being challenged not sure what you have to back that up, but in my experience many women take fair criticism/challenges just as well as men.

Well that's the beauty of a forum as I always say, its stamped all over here in a ubiquitous nature and there for all too see. You have to of course either want/choose to see it. Some don't. But the many other brave males who burdened themselves and dared to challenge the pack and not ignore, well done you/we all know who you all are.

I won't be signposting to the many specific examples, as they are lit up like the great fire of London and i don't buy one would not be aware. To reference anything specific makes it personal. Would also be extreme hypocrisy for me to do so as I find it quite distasteful when the pack create new posts and clearly reference individuals thinking being clever by not naming, but its obvious whom is in mind.

To get back on topic, this OP objective here is clearly to raise awareness, restore some balance to the galaxy. I am also taking this opportunity to support the brave number of men, who dared to challenge very disrespectful and insulting narratives, inviting a torrent of pack aggression on themselves.

My advice to these brave persons is don't let these pack individuals continue to moderate you. Block them and you largely remove that equation. Yes the actual moderators (difficult job) are still susceptible to being influenced and pressured to going with the tide, but if you block yourself from seeing the constant spin, you can't get involved, and you make it a better and more balanced environment for yourself. Don't continue to chase that fruitless acquiesce, it will never come.

I don't intend to comment further on this now, as have clearly made concerted effort to remove myself from an unhealthy and dangerous sub segment of discussion, that I don't believe is good for my or anyones mental health and well being. I don't wish to be burdened with a weight of frustration and will stick to the safety net of the non male bashing generic segments, which thankfully there is much of. I suppose we all find our crowd and people eventually.

Peace and love. Let's respect each other and all.

Edited July 7, 2022 by Deleted Member
Typo corrected

[Straight_Switch]

On 7/5/2022 at 10:38 PM, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

Is it just me or is there an extraordinary disproportionate amount of posts on here about men suck/men are inappropriate/male behaviour etc, etc, etc.

I'm quite good at walking past male click bait, however some of it is particularly hard to stomach, especially when its the same crowd or the 'look at my giant massive sweeping brush that I describe, define and summarise males as being like' posting which can be quite offensive, upsetting and even disturbing to read.

Discuss?...

lol this is the modern world narrative right now.

A woman can make a topic, slate men, a man can respond with the truth or opposing view and the man will be cancelled into next week and the woman gets validated.

 

Who's fault is this you ask?  Men's!  Wait a moment don't cancel me just yet hear me out!

A large majority of guy's validate these women and their poor behaviour you can claim they don't but we all know the truth and why they do it.

The topics you see are just that, after validation and attention much like most dating app profiles and well they get it in spades!

I replied to one of these misandry topics recently and one dude even went so far as to tell me he as a self claimed 8 out of 10 gets more attention and action than a 10 out of 10 guy. (I know I spat my coffee reading it, So Brad Pitt, Ronaldo, Leonardo DiCaprio etc men who have hundreds of millions in the bank, good looks and fame don't get as many offers as Chad probably a 5 or 6 self proclaimed 8 lol!  You get the Idea).

 

Why do these men act the way they do?

Simple, 'most' not all but most women have been convinced by Disney, social media and the blue hair movement that they are all stunning and brave, and deserve only the best man in the world, they are all queens and deserve to be treated as such.

So you have 'most' women who believe they are 'entitled' to the top 10% of men, you know guy's who are over 6 foot, earn over 6 figures, good looking well dressed Chad basically. (factual top 10% of men)

Why is he called Chad you ask? Well like any human he treats abundance as disposable, he has 90% of women chasing him and his pick.

So he treats these girls like crap, he doesn't care and never will he can have a new girl each night of the week, it's how the rest of the species on the planet operates too, genetics and life.

 

So all these girls get used and dropped by Chad and then complain "They cant find a real man", or "Why don't men commit today?" You know the lines.....

 

They then come on here or other dating apps because Chad dropped them, the other 90% of men tell these girls "You are too beautiful", "Your the queen I would treat you right", "OMG you're so pretty!" basically simping, but giving the girls validation to their now bruised ego, then the next Chad hits up the girl and  what happens? lol Yer you know it!  She hops straight to bedroom fun because "He gives her the tingles".

 

Women are addicted to the tingle's, again 'most' women if your nice to them get turned off, they don't like nice guy's they want the bad boy they are addicted to the dopamine hit of him giving her attention, problem is Chad gives attention just long enough to slip the sausage and then he is bored and moves on, because the girls have a false sense of value they lie to themselves and think Chad is going to commit and then get salty when he doesn't (back to social media for validation).

 

Women are never held to account or accountable for their own actions see Amber Heard!  Literally they guy has to go to court spend millions to get the truth out because he was cancelled and the girl does what? Yup DOUBLES DOWN the narrative on him being the bad guy.

How many times have YOU seen this happen to you or a friend?

Women are not accountable today for their own actions is half the problem and that court case opened allot of eyes!

The topic goes so deep but I already typed way too much but you guy's get the idea.

 

So you guy's need to stop validating this poor behaviour if you want to see a change not only in dating and the scene but society as a whole.

 

Society will kick back on this topic currently because that's the social media narrative, women are so stunning, brave, independent and don't need men?  Im going to get so much heat for typing this, but I already opted out I really don't care, I focus on me. myself and spend all that *** wasted of girls on improving my life and that's what most guys need to start doing.

Give energy to yourself not them, give *** to improving yourself not them, ironically do that and they will come.

 

Stop posting comments on this site, the same sad guys every time with the same sad comments the same sad DM's, these girls DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU!

You will never get a girl by simping and telling her how pretty she is or how much a queen she is!  She see's you as weak! And only uses you for validation so stop it!  She is going to go fuck Chad simple!  She will use you but you will never get sex or a relationship from her!

 

Start having some self respect lads, start focusing on yourself and do things to improve your life and stop trying to give it all away to girls who will take everything you have and give nothing in return.

 

Then these misandry topics will start to fade over time and women will return to the table, a little more humble and a little more real.

Need sex that much and so badly? Hire a hooker, she is gonna put out, she is gonna be hotter then most girls on this site and it costs what? A dinner dates worth in ***?  

Stop DM'ing girls simping and white knighting they don't care! Literally using you!

And I love you guys loads, Ill be blasted into next week and cancelled now but hey ho' man down took one for the team, get the message out there!

[ge****]

48 minutes ago, Shirt-n-Tie-Boy said:

Well that's the beauty of a forum as I always say, its stamped all over here in a ubiquitous nature and there for all too see. You have to of course either want/choose to see it. Some don't. But the many other brave males who burdened themselves and dared to challenge the pack and not ignore, well done you/we all know who you all are.

I won't be signposting to the many specific examples, as they are lit up like the great fire of London and i don't buy one would not be aware. To reference anything specific makes it personal. Would also be extreme hypocrisy for me to do so as I find it quite distasteful when the pack create new posts and clearly reference individuals thinking being clever by not naming, but its obvious whom is in mind.

To get back on topic, this OP objective here is clearly to raise awareness, restore some balance to the galaxy. I am also taking this opportunity to support the brave number of men, who dared to challenge very disrespectful and insulting narratives, inviting a torrent of pack aggression on themselves.

My advice to these brave persons is don't let these pack individuals continue to moderate you. Block them and you largely remove that equation. Yes the actual moderators (difficult job) are still susceptible to being influenced and pressured to going with the tide, but if you block yourself from seeing the constant spin, you can't get involved, and you make it a better and more balanced environment for yourself. Don't continue to chase that fruitless acquiesce, it will never come.

I don't intend to comment further on this now, as have clearly made concerted effort to remove myself from an unhealthy and dangerous sub segment of discussion, that I don't believe is good for my or anyones mental health and well being. I don't wish to be burdened with a weight of frustration and will stick to the safety net of the non male bashing generic segments, which thankfully there is much of. I suppose we all find our crowd and people eventually.

Peace and love. Let's respect each other and all.

 

9 minutes ago, Tiny_ said:

lol this is the modern world narrative right now.

A woman can make a topic, slate men, a man can respond with the truth or opposing view and the man will be cancelled into next week and the woman gets validated.

 

Who's fault is this you ask?  Men's!  Wait a moment don't cancel me just yet hear me out!

A large majority of guy's validate these women and their poor behaviour you can claim they don't but we all know the truth and why they do it.

The topics you see are just that, after validation and attention much like most dating app profiles and well they get it in spades!

I replied to one of these misandry topics recently and one dude even went so far as to tell me he as a self claimed 8 out of 10 gets more attention and action than a 10 out of 10 guy. (I know I spat my coffee reading it, So Brad Pitt, Ronaldo, Leonardo DiCaprio etc men who have hundreds of millions in the bank, good looks and fame don't get as many offers as Chad probably a 5 or 6 self proclaimed 8 lol!  You get the Idea).

 

Why do these men act the way they do?

Simple, 'most' not all but most women have been convinced by Disney, social media and the blue hair movement that they are all stunning and brave, and deserve only the best man in the world, they are all queens and deserve to be treated as such.

So you have 'most' women who believe they are 'entitled' to the top 10% of men, you know guy's who are over 6 foot, earn over 6 figures, good looking well dressed Chad basically. (factual top 10% of men)

Why is he called Chad you ask? Well like any human he treats abundance as disposable, he has 90% of women chasing him and his pick.

So he treats these girls like crap, he doesn't care and never will he can have a new girl each night of the week, it's how the rest of the species on the planet operates too, genetics and life.

 

So all these girls get used and dropped by Chad and then complain "They cant find a real man", or "Why don't men commit today?" You know the lines.....

 

They then come on here or other dating apps because Chad dropped them, the other 90% of men tell these girls "You are too beautiful", "Your the queen I would treat you right", "OMG you're so pretty!" basically simping, but giving the girls validation to their now bruised ego, then the next Chad hits up the girl and  what happens? lol Yer you know it!  She hops straight to bedroom fun because "He gives her the tingles".

 

Women are addicted to the tingle's, again 'most' women if your nice to them get turned off, they don't like nice guy's they want the bad boy they are addicted to the dopamine hit of him giving her attention, problem is Chad gives attention just long enough to slip the sausage and then he is bored and moves on, because the girls have a false sense of value they lie to themselves and think Chad is going to commit and then get salty when he doesn't (back to social media for validation).

 

Women are never held to account or accountable for their own actions see Amber Heard!  Literally they guy has to go to court spend millions to get the truth out because he was cancelled and the girl does what? Yup DOUBLES DOWN the narrative on him being the bad guy.

How many times have YOU seen this happen to you or a friend?

Women are not accountable today for their own actions is half the problem and that court case opened allot of eyes!

The topic goes so deep but I already typed way too much but you guy's get the idea.

 

So you guy's need to stop validating this poor behaviour if you want to see a change not only in dating and the scene but society as a whole.

 

Society will kick back on this topic currently because that's the social media narrative, women are so stunning, brave, independent and don't need men?  Im going to get so much heat for typing this, but I already opted out I really don't care, I focus on me. myself and spend all that *** wasted of girls on improving my life and that's what most guys need to start doing.

Give energy to yourself not them, give *** to improving yourself not them, ironically do that and they will come.

 

Stop posting comments on this site, the same sad guys every time with the same sad comments the same sad DM's, these girls DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU!

You will never get a girl by simping and telling her how pretty she is or how much a queen she is!  She see's you as weak! And only uses you for validation so stop it!  She is going to go fuck Chad simple!  She will use you but you will never get sex or a relationship from her!

 

Start having some self respect lads, start focusing on yourself and do things to improve your life and stop trying to give it all away to girls who will take everything you have and give nothing in return.

 

Then these misandry topics will start to fade over time and women will return to the table, a little more humble and a little more real.

Need sex that much and so badly? Hire a hooker, she is gonna put out, she is gonna be hotter then most girls on this site and it costs what? A dinner dates worth in ***?  

Stop DM'ing girls simping and white knighting they don't care! Literally using you!

And I love you guys loads, Ill be blasted into next week and cancelled now but hey ho' man down took one for the team, get the message out there!

Wow just wow!! I have no words - not going to even start picking apart the last two posts - I'd be here till next week and frankly I don't think it would make the slightest bit of difference if I did.

.

All I will say gents is if you want to believe all that then go ahead and do so, if you're happy with your experience on sites like this, then good for you - I know I am more than happy with mine based on my approach and experience of using sites like this, and not because I simper to women, or white knight in any way.

[Lo****]

The women of Fet love it when men are this frank and honest about their opinions. Really we do! 😂😂😂

[Straight_Switch]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

 

Wow just wow!! I have no words - not going to even start picking apart the last two posts - I'd be here till next week and frankly I don't think it would make the slightest bit of difference if I did.

.

All I will say gents is if you want to believe all that then go ahead and do so, if you're happy with your experience on sites like this, then good for you - I know I am more than happy with mine based on my approach and experience of using sites like this, and not because I simper to women, or white knight in any way.

This kind of response is the exact problem, this kind of man enable the poor behaviour.

[Straight_Switch]

1 hour ago, Lockfairy said:

The women of Fet love it when men are this frank and honest about their opinions. Really we do! 😂😂😂

I know right!  haha!  It's not a popular discussion right now, thanks for the reply I did smile and I'm wearing my flak jacket :-)

Already got one delusional guy on topic the rest will come in with the hopes some stunning and brave queen will see them defending the line.... Often you can't see the woods for the trees.

 

 

Social constructs do not reflect reality!

[Ar****]

8 hours ago, gemini_man said:

As eyem (I think) said it's an oft thrown out thing that some men "white knight" or "simp" to curry favour - and usually thrown in a dismissive way by men who hold an opposing view with the aim of "doing down" or point scoring somehow - I don't disagree that white knights exist, but more often than not when I see fingers of that ilk being pointed, it's totally unjustified and the person with the same opinion as women merely holds the same opinion with no hidden agenda at all.

I was having a good mull over these very points last night, and began to feel very sad that (some) people are automatically  dismissive of even the possibility of altruistic motives. If we can't have faith that they exist, what hope is there? 😞

[Lo****]

1 minute ago, Tiny_ said:

I know right!  haha!  It's not a popular discussion right now, thanks for the reply I did smile and I'm wearing my flak jacket :-)

Already got one delusional guy on topic the rest will come in with the hopes some stunning and brave queen will see them defending the line.... Often you can't see the woods for the trees.

 

 

Social constructs do not reflect reality!

Oh. My. God. You actually think I’m PRAISING you!?

Unbelievable 😂😂😂

[ge****]

1 hour ago, Tiny_ said:

This kind of response is the exact problem, this kind of man enable the poor behaviour.

I enable nothing other than respect, decency and consideration - if you choose to see otherwise then that is of course your prerogative and you're entitled to believe what you want - I let others judge me on my behaviour but stand firmly by anything I have said on this particular topic.
.
If people choose to see me as trying to curry favour or delusional somehow then so be it.
.
As I've said several times now, based on many years experience of using sites like this I am more than happy with my experience of them as a result of being authentically me and true to my beliefs.
.
If you can say the same then good for you 👍🏻

[Ar****]

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all take a step back and acknowledge that many people exhibit poor behaviour, many people suck, that many people are abusive, that regardless of gender/sex it is very rare that forum posts try to taint all of a particular demographic, and that we all have a duty to call it out whomever it is aimed at?

*dreams wistfully*

[Deleted Member]

17 hours ago, Lockfairy said:

The women of Fet love it when men are this frank and honest about their opinions. Really we do! 😂😂😂

Particularly when they agree with you a presume. 

[Lo****]

3 hours ago, sigbro said:

Particularly when they agree with you a presume. 

Well, obviously, but this comment doesn’t mean what you think it does 😊