Deleted Member Posted August 11, 2022 Posted August 11, 2022 Hello lovelies! Well, I've been on here for a few days, and I feel like I'm beginning to question whether using the label non-binary has been a bit of a mistake! This is the problem with labels; they can mean entirely different things to different people. So, tell me: when you think of non-binary, what to you see? Or what do you hope you'll see when opening a non-binary person's profile? I do think the label (and definition) is one of the hardest to pin down. It doesn't mean trans. And while being trans is an epic and beautiful thing, it mustn't be assumed that all non-binary people are merely on a stopping point on their journey to become trans; even though some might be, many aren't. I think bi people might identify with this, certainly at times, when being bi is sometimes seen as being equivocal about being gay. Which it isn't, but occasionally can be. My former partner for instance. But it mustn't be assumed. I'm bi, so am attracted to men, or some men (if you're a silver fox or a bear, then I'm interested - but only if you're gay or bi. Straight men do not interest me at all); I'm also most definitely interested in women, and the more woman the better! Sigh. It's personal, but for the record, this is me: someone with a male body, though physically and without effort quite androgynous. Even if presenting as male (and bizarrely even when I had a beard!) I would be mistaken for being female in the street, and more often than not on the phone. Apart from the irritation of growing body hair (which I get rid of assiduously though it feels like a frustrating game of whack-a-mole at times), I'm actually comfortable with my body, even the dreaded penis, which as Xander in Buffy said, cannot be defeated! Which took a long time because my male peers in school were simply horrible because I hit puberty late and not very well and assumed I was gay and bestowed every living cruelty on me as a result. Welcome to the 1980s. Anyway, I eventually realised I like the way I look. I'm just me. I realised everything about me is pretty fluid. And I like that. I can wear a suit and enjoy the part of playing a man, all be it a not very macho one! I also enjoyed being vague and wearing more female or at least gender neutral clothing. I wondered for a time, but I realised I had no interest in passing as a woman. I'm not trans, though I don't look bad in a dress, but it's me in a dress, and have worn skirts on stage as a (frankly) kick ass rock guitarist. Though I'm more 70s Bowie than Dave Navarro. As I said, androgyny is a nice place to be. Maybe 'flexible' could be a term? But with caveats I guess! I actually think a useful thing would be a sliding scale for gender, to match with sexually. Would have to ask you trans lovelies what you think though? Would that make it trickier for you? Maybe just for non-binary? I think it might lead to fewer surprises, especially for all you straight chaps out there. And anything to help the algorithm understand, because it's clearly clueless! So: your turn. Define non-binary for me, and let's see if we can collectively find a common definition?!