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How do you assess if a Sub is ready for mindfucks?


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How do you most accurately assess if a Sub is ready for mindfucks In a way that is least likely to hurt them?

Many have told me they were prepared but get hurt, they usually aren't mad at me but I want what I do to be pleasurable. So while both parties have responsibility, especially as the dom I assume theres something i can do on my part.

I imagine this differs depending on the style, what are the common styles?
Is there good mindfuck literature ?

My mindfuck style is usually more absurd/humor based like how the Mcelroy's gaslight each other. But sometimes with a more sensual undertone.

Occasionally pointing out things that should be questioned by flipping premises and exploring how much more sense it might make if it were that way instead.

Theres more sensation based/ more disconnected rp stuff/ closer to fear play.

One I think I'd enjoy but feel the most apprehension about is deeply questioning the entire motivation of the relationship or something very important giving grand reveal plot twist vibes but the underlying joke is not that theyre worthless and that they should be questioning it but that the premise of the grimdark mindfuck would be absurd because of all the evidence Ive provided otherwise.

But its hard to know how secure someone feels in a relationship/ if they have correctly analyzed the evidence until you test it. How do you do your due diligence? Ime straight up asking near always gets a yes even when thats not true, is there a better way I should ask before performing a mind fuck?

Its also hard to know exactly how you want to press somebodys buttons to make a clear consent ask, until the moment arrises, then theres the dilemma of how to ask without spoiling it or the moment disappearing?

In the dynamic im dreaming of theres a chance a mindfuck could happen at any time besides like high stress stuff (party with people unaware of the dynamic, interfering with work, important resource threatening time restraint) how do you navigate that? And parse out subs nonintuitive hangups that they find too obvious to mention?

Note on my experience: I've done more sub oriented mindfucks pretty successfully (like playing with them using methods just for their sake not thinking about my desires) but have had more trouble gratifying /my/ desires and while I've been able to establish mindfucks in dynamics, cocreating it to my custom desires has been hard. I've done it in blips and with some special people but I want a clearer system so I can relax and not be afraid of my topspace
Like any another play, you should discuss soft and hard limits. In particular with mindfuck it take time to find out what and how to press the right buttons, the line is often thinner with mind play than with impact play.

It sounds from your comment you jump from 0 to 100 straight away. If you are trying to get the dynamic 24/7 maybe try to build it slowly by starting with only a day a week or only few hours during the day and build it up from there and learn more what make your sub tick. Like any relationships it take time to discover each other and build trust.

Do you take time out to do checking, do you have debriefs, do you provide aftercare to your sub?

Like everything you can like something but not be ready all the time for it. Maybe you could agree a "ceremony" or to wear something to indicate the start of play (like a collar, bracelet,...).
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