Getting it precise

[Sire_Osiris]

If there were a checklist, I'd have mine completed. You know, all the prerequisite factors that make for a solid and peaceful life.
I have heard about what I should do, how I should do it as well as when and where it all should get done.
My life is complete and ready for the next big chapter.
So how is it that the women who say they value what I became don't see me?
That last question is mostly rhetorical, but I'll show up for a discussion.

[Deleted Member]

The only want to achieve a solid and peaceful life is to always be yourself, honest and open to discussions and always strive to be the best version of yourself that you can. Regardless of others perceptions. You are a leader. Not a sheep. Be proud of who you are.

Love the post ❤️👏🏻

[ge****]

Just because you say you have your checklist completed and are ready, doesn't mean others see it that way, and that's the key - saying is one thing, but showing and others seeing is quite another.
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So all you can do is show and demonstrate that you do indeed tick all the boxes and hope that others see it - if they don't, not a great deal you can do about it other than continuing to display those desirable factors until someone does notice.

[ey****]

because you're looking for someone else's approval.  

[Deleted Member]

The question isn't 'how well is your checklist done', the question is 'are you better than the vast majority of the competition'?
When it comes to dating, especially online dating, women get flooded with an overwhelming amount of messages and interest. Under such conditions, they can pick the crème of the crop. It doesn't matter if you're in the top 50% when it comes to attractiveness, they can easily pick from the top 10-20%.

Even if she's looking for an LTR, she will always look for the top 20%. Not because she's evil or silly or anything like that, simply because she *can*.

Supply and demand is not on our side.

[ey****]

that's all pretty little lies men tell themselves

who dictates what top "10-20 of attractiveness" even is?!

Though we've got an OP with no profile picture and no real profile - so there's no point in claiming you're everything a woman wants if you can't show it.  

[Deleted Member]

I'm not saying he has it all right. I am saying that being 'good' or 'ok' isn't good enough. You have to be 'great'. 

And it's not a lie, just look at how many messages a new girl gets within 1 hour of making her profile. I've seen literal hundreds. 

I'm not blaming them for it, they are well within their rights to pick the hottest guy on the menu. I'm just saying that due to the sheer overwhelming number of guys, they can and will pick from the top, after all, why wouldn't they.

And nobody 'dictates' it. There is a difference in tastes, but there's also considerable overlap.

[ge****]

27 minutes ago, Barney_CM said:

I'm not saying he has it all right. I am saying that being 'good' or 'ok' isn't good enough. You have to be 'great'. 

And it's not a lie, just look at how many messages a new girl gets within 1 hour of making her profile. I've seen literal hundreds. 

I'm not blaming them for it, they are well within their rights to pick the hottest guy on the menu. I'm just saying that due to the sheer overwhelming number of guys, they can and will pick from the top, after all, why wouldn't they.

And nobody 'dictates' it. There is a difference in tastes, but there's also considerable overlap.

Thing is though that does an incredible disservice to most women - suggests they're shallow and will only select from an imaginary "top whatever" list that is a figment of most men's imagination and as eyem suggests something that many men use to pin their lack of "success" on sites like this to.
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Sure women have a multitude of choice, buy they don't necessarily have a quality of choice - the *only* distinction women make in terms of "top whatever" lists is their own individual one that each of them hold and compile for themselves, and that doesn't come down to looks, or anything really, various factors may play into it, including looks, but in exactly the same way as they do for men (or at least should do for men).
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Of course women will choose quality men, but it's quality men as each lady defines it, not some generally held list perceived by men.
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I class myself as distinctly average and over the hill in many respects, and certainly don't consider myself "great", yet in years of using sites like this I've met many women both socially and otherwise and had some fantastic experiences.
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It's not necesssrily about who you are on sites like this, but it's certainly about how you are.

[TxFrank]

You "heard" what you should do?
Well, maybe you should decide what you want to do and not lean on preconceived ideas from others. Finding someone compatible here isn't difficult or a trick. I found my soul mate here within a month of signing up. It's a simple formula.
Be honest about what you seek.
Be honest about what you are and what you are not.
Be courteous.
Don't be a jerk.

[ey****]

So, yes, it's true - when a new lady signs up onto any site she may well get hundreds of messages very quickly.  

What men *think* happens is that she goes through all of these hundreds of messages - reads and checks the profile of every one, and then picks out a small handful of those she likes the best.  Then, with this handful, picks some to reply to in order to whittle down to one she can be happy with forever.

The kinda reality, as is gauged from others on the forum.
"Hey" - binned
Overly smut - binned
No profile pic - likely bin

No/limited profile - likely bin

Blatant copy paste message - bin.

And then after most of the shite is binned - she might do some looking at the others, but the reality is she doesn't have to choose any of them.  She can, and will, quite happily bin every single one.

In essence, this removes the idea of "competition" or "choice" - which is actually something which is very sexist, and objectifying.  Rather than actually being able to demonstrate why you're at least worth a message back.

The *best* choice women got was not having to 'choose' anyone.  That they can literally see 100 messages and hit "delete all" if they like.  

But, like, folk aren't mind readers.  If you meet the criteria you *think* they are looking for - then - well, show it (just remember folk aren't a hivemind)

 

[Deleted Member]

Just now, gemini_man said:

Thing is though that does an incredible disservice to most women - suggests they're shallow and will only select from an imaginary "top whatever" list that is a figment of most men's imagination and as eyem suggests something that many men use to pin their lack of "success" on sites like this to.
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Sure women have a multitude of choice, buy they don't necessarily have a quality of choice - the *only* distinction women make in terms of "top whatever" lists is their own individual one that each of them hold and compile for themselves, and that doesn't come down to looks, or anything really, various factors may play into it, including looks, but in exactly the same way as they do for men (or at least should do for men).
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Of course women will choose quality men, but it's quality men as each lady defines it, not some generally held list perceived by men.
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I class myself as distinctly average and over the hill in many respects, and certainly don't consider myself "great", yet in years of using sites like this I've met many women both socially and otherwise and had some fantastic experiences.
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It's not necesssrily about who you are on sites like this, but it's certainly about how you are.

I don't see the point of arguing in forums, nobody in the history of mankind said 'I used to believe xyz, but then this random guy on a forum said THIS and now I'm of a different opinion'. 

As I said, there is a difference in tastes, but there's considerable overlap. If every woman was attracted to the exact same 20% we would still be living in caves. 

Having said that, there's a reason why certain men are hailed as attractive by a very large number of women and why some guys are notoriously successful with the ladies. A random guy in the 20% of girl A may only be a 40%-er for girl B. 

But a guy that's top 5% of girl A is almost guaranteed to be in the top 20% of almost every woman on the planet. (who find men attractive)

You can hit me with as much political correctness as you like, but beauty standards weren't created by an evil conspiracy, but by the law of averages.
 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Barney_CM said:

nobody in the history of mankind said 'I used to believe xyz, but then this random guy on a forum said THIS and now I'm of a different opinion'. 

fundamentally untrue.

equally; growing your opinion in light of more information, or when people speak about actual experiences and successes is a fundamental part of human growth.

But that's often the problem, that, a lot of the guys who are like "I've been trying for x years with no luck" have been trying the *same thing* for x years and not taking on board what *anyone* is saying - whereas those who grow as humans and learn end up being the ones who end up with what they want.

1 hour ago, Barney_CM said:

You can hit me with as much political correctness as you like, but beauty standards weren't created by an evil conspiracy, but by the law of averages.

I'm not sure what the fuck "political correctness" has to do with anything here?!

 

[ge****]

1 hour ago, Barney_CM said:

I don't see the point of arguing in forums, nobody in the history of mankind said 'I used to believe xyz, but then this random guy on a forum said THIS and now I'm of a different opinion'. 

As I said, there is a difference in tastes, but there's considerable overlap. If every woman was attracted to the exact same 20% we would still be living in caves. 

Having said that, there's a reason why certain men are hailed as attractive by a very large number of women and why some guys are notoriously successful with the ladies. A random guy in the 20% of girl A may only be a 40%-er for girl B. 

But a guy that's top 5% of girl A is almost guaranteed to be in the top 20% of almost every woman on the planet. (who find men attractive)

You can hit me with as much political correctness as you like, but beauty standards weren't created by an evil conspiracy, but by the law of averages.
 

I didn't think we were arguing - but the very definition of a forum is debate and sharing of opinions I think you'll find 🤔
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Actually you'd be surprised how many I have seen do exactly as you suggest and changed their ways/opinion off the back of reasoned and balanced opinions being put forward, not an every day occurrence I grant you but happens enough to not be "nobody in the history of mankind".
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You contradict yourself somewhat, on the one hand you suggest women can pick "the creme of the crop" and will "always look for the top 20%" you then state that "there is a difference in tastes"
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Do you have any data to back up your seemingly randomly plucked from thin air statistics? Because last time I checked both men and women have wide and varied tastes in the type of people they find attractive - some may prefer blonde, blue eyed, gym bunnies, others may prefer brunette, brown eyed fuller bodied people without there being any overlap at all.
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Sure there are people in this world that it's widely held are attractive, take George Clooney as an example - but just because people see him as attractive doesn't necessarily mean they'd want to jump his bones.
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Any notion of leagues, competition, top whatever percent is frankly ridiculous in my opinion and somewhat insulting to both men and women regardless of who is doing the attracting.
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Yes sites like this there is a huge number imbalance between men and women, and a perception (amongst men) that women have more choice as a result - but if you actually look at the quality of that choice and take away the men that just don't "get" it (which accounts for a massive number) and the balance is a lot more even than it may appear at first glance.
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It's entirely feasible for any guy on a site like this to have his expectations met, but he needs to set them realistically in the first place and adopt the right attitude and approach to both the site and the gender they are hoping to attract, coupling that with a well written profile, some decent pictures, a level of patience, and maintaining all of the usual values of consideration and respect etc.
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If you choose to see otherwise and want to believe in leagues, competition and top percents, then I'm not here to change your mind, you go ahead and believe in it - if you've found a formula that works for you despite all that then good luck to you.

[CopperKnob]

4 hours ago, Barney_CM said:

The question isn't 'how well is your checklist done', the question is 'are you better than the vast majority of the competition'?
When it comes to dating, especially online dating, women get flooded with an overwhelming amount of messages and interest. Under such conditions, they can pick the crème of the crop. It doesn't matter if you're in the top 50% when it comes to attractiveness, they can easily pick from the top 10-20%.

Even if she's looking for an LTR, she will always look for the top 20%. Not because she's evil or silly or anything like that, simply because she *can*.

Supply and demand is not on our side.

Says the person that's not a women and does not have the experience of a women

[CopperKnob]

3 hours ago, Barney_CM said:

I don't see the point of arguing in forums, nobody in the history of mankind said 'I used to believe xyz, but then this random guy on a forum said THIS and now I'm of a different opinion'. 

As I said, there is a difference in tastes, but there's considerable overlap. If every woman was attracted to the exact same 20% we would still be living in caves. 

Having said that, there's a reason why certain men are hailed as attractive by a very large number of women and why some guys are notoriously successful with the ladies. A random guy in the 20% of girl A may only be a 40%-er for girl B. 

But a guy that's top 5% of girl A is almost guaranteed to be in the top 20% of almost every woman on the planet. (who find men attractive)

You can hit me with as much political correctness as you like, but beauty standards weren't created by an evil conspiracy, but by the law of averages.
 

You've been in the Manosphere for too long, come back!! 🤣

All you have to do is read the various forum posts written by women about the 💩 messages they get. Picking the creme de la creme? I'd make do with someone actually spelling my username correctly, showing me that they've read something, anything I've written here (god knows there's a lot to choose from) and actually having either a bit of banter of something interesting to say, hopefully both. If that's considered creme de la creme as opposed to simple good manners, god help us all
.
OP
Your life is complete when you die. There's plenty more for you to do, learn and achieve. If you've become what you've become because you thought that that was what was necessary to find/suceed in a relationship, well that's where you went wrong

[ge****]

2 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

You've been in the Manosphere for too long, come back!! 🤣

All you have to do is read the various forum posts written by women about the 💩 messages they get. Picking the creme de la creme? I'd make do with someone actually spelling my username correctly, showing me that they've read something, anything I've written here (god knows there's a lot to choose from) and actually having either a bit of banter of something interesting to say, hopefully both. If that's considered creme de la creme as opposed to simple good manners, god help us all
.
OP
Your life is complete when you die. There's plenty more for you to do, learn and achieve. If you've become what you've become because you thought that that was what was necessary to find/suceed in a relationship, well that's where you went wrong

Well said CooperNib 👏 🤣

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, gemini_man said:

Well said CooperNib 👏 🤣

DUDE!! 🤣

[ge****]

6 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

DUDE!! 🤣

Just say it in an Officer Crabtree voice and it works 🤣

[CopperKnob]

18 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Just say it in an Officer Crabtree voice and it works 🤣

Who?

[ge****]

7 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Who?

Allo Allo policeman...youth of today!! 🙄🤣

[ey****]

just to be a bit more off topic

one thing I've said in the past is that a hard truth is you can do everything *seemingly* right and still not get the results you want.  So so many reasons but a mixture between the way the die falls - and - that actually different people seek different things and aren't necessarily as shallow as folk think

and also that people generally like action more than words. 

Also that two things can be mutually true like - being broke is massively disadvantageous in dating, but being wealthy is not a particular advantage since people cannot see you are wealthy. 

Equally, sure, there'll be people fantasise about being swept off their feet by a wealthy guy, but in reality that wealth could well be linked to working long hours, a lot of working away, so on.  So it provides comfort, but not really companionship.

 Looks can be a first impression, but honestly, some of the loudest guys to complain have been some who consider themselves attractive and are normally good at meeting people for casual sex on a night out, but, struggle to get a partner in fetish circles - because while they're good for a fuck, there has to be a lot more to it in kink circles.

And of course, looks fade, the ability to share experiences together and enjoy each others company - less so.

People keep taking figures from that one tindr "study" from years ago and apply it to everything.   

[ca****]

13 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Well said CooperNib 👏 🤣

Couldn't help myself but i agree with what Cropper Cob said.... she knows what she's talking about ... as a woman of course !

[CopperKnob]

3 hours ago, callipygian said:

Couldn't help myself but i agree with what Cropper Cob said.... she knows what she's talking about ... as a woman of course !

Is this what they call "online bullying" or "trolling" 🤔🤣

[CopperKnob]

16 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Allo Allo policeman...youth of today!! 🙄🤣

I'm a little late but, "good moaning" 🖐

[ge****]

14 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Is this what they call "online bullying" or "trolling" 🤔🤣

I wouldn't know KnobberCrop...is it? 🤣😂

Love ya really I does 😘