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Internet safety

By Deleted Member
in Kink Academy

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Ca****

Ca****

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Safety of both parties should always come first. Only meet up when your comfortable and have some degree of trust. AlwAys meet first in a public place. Have drinks poured by a waiter or barmen and don’t hold a grudge if you don’t connect physically as you do virtually.
AlphaLion

AlphaLion

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So the risk is they are a crazy person who might do you harm. So vetting is critical.

Tone is lost in text so I typically would move to phone calls and video calls so you have the extra info available to you. They sound normal? They look normal. They act normal.

Then as mentioned, public meeting for sure. Coffee / beer / whatever is your poison. Be prepared for being being nervous on a first meet, happens to us all.

Deleted Member

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Try not to pressure for a meeting be patient, meet in a neutral safe place. If you don’t click then so be it.
Ex****

Ex****

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This is a great question and input. I had people wanting me to travel far to meet them. Didn’t feel comfortable and did not go.

Deleted Member

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It should be the first thing you figure out, I often do calls or video chats just because as someone who struggles reading tone and emotion behind text. The mere fact of having some actually speak to you makes a big difference.
You learn a lot more about someone through those responses than through texts I’ve found. Also just be careful as to the personal info you give away but that should be an obvious.
ph****

ph****

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I have made many mistakes and have paid dearly. I’ve been robbed assaulted and r*ped. I used to drive anyplace to meet. Not now. I never leave my area and never at my home. I had a stalker and I was scammed. Be careful

Deltaswitch

Deltaswitch

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Eh always be sure the person you are talking to is genuine so I start off talking about myself or them without kink, get to know who they are a bit, vet them so ask for pics to verify who they are ect. I'd also set all your social media to private so people can't find where you work, go to school all your friends and family in one single search. (Trust me I've been blackmailed before). And don't use your real name straight away 😂. Once your safe and confident the person is real and has no malicious intentions a meet up is safe but I'd recommend a public place like a coffee shop to start. If the person says they want to stay now or seem inpatient, get outta there, a genuine person would understand and also want to get to know you too.

Deleted Member

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Be weary of unverified profiles.

Take time to get to know someone.

If you ever want to meet someone irl first meeting always have it in a public setting and see how they react to your boundaries.
se****

se****

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I think this one depends on the person. For me, if a person suggests alcohol in the evening as first meeting, then it is the end. It makes me think if the other person cares about my safety... like going back home.
se****

se****

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2 hours ago, philadelphia644 said:

I have made many mistakes and have paid dearly. I’ve been robbed assaulted and r*ped. I used to drive anyplace to meet. Not now. I never leave my area and never at my home. I had a stalker and I was scammed. Be careful

Your experiences would make anyone bitter towards the world. Good for you to keep going foward, and having hope. My heart goes out to you.💖💖💖

se****

se****

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3 hours ago, AlphaLion said:

So the risk is they are a crazy person who might do you harm. So vetting is critical.

Tone is lost in text so I typically would move to phone calls and video calls so you have the extra info available to you. They sound normal? They look normal. They act normal.

Then as mentioned, public meeting for sure. Coffee / beer / whatever is your poison. Be prepared for being being nervous on a first meet, happens to us all.

You are right about tone, and phone calls like other members mentioned in past forums. It is like a playbook. I noticed in my past, if a person is genuinely interested in me, they want to talk as soon as it can be. Those without genuine interested always made accuses like "I prefer to talk in actual meetings than on the phone". If they like you, they want to hear your voice!!

Deleted Member

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I don't think the internet is really the issue in terms of safety and if it was there would be way more serial killers today than previously ...(that's not happening). I watch a LOT of true crime case files and I see women often and quite incredulously place themselves at the mercy of psychopaths. It seems that 6ft tall, blue eyes and a smile is all that is needed to switch off ALL female threat awareness ... it's a weird pseudo-logic of "he's tall so he must be normal and therefore I can feel safe with him". Conversely I am not aware of any serial killers who haven't owned a car ...so if he doesn't have a car you're going to be pretty safe (yet women will balk at the idea that a man has no car). What I am getting at here is that the much famed "female intuition" is in fact very fallible and unfortunately based on non-risk factors

Deleted Member

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Just depends on the vibe of the two adult s, this is no different than if you are using any other site
an****

an****

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Always meet in public, let someone know where you are going and if they seem sketchy then no. 
Da****

Da****

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5 hours ago, Camhanich said:
Safety of both parties should always come first. Only meet up when your comfortable and have some degree of trust. AlwAys meet first in a public place. Have drinks poured by a waiter or barmen and don’t hold a grudge if you don’t connect physically as you do virtually.

This is exactly how we do it... drinks or dinner first.. no expectations...typically don't play on first date...

Da****

Da****

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We also use kik..before giving out my phone numbers ... added layer of safety

Deleted Member

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For me, it’s born by the p***y die by the p***y, but for you, I would say trust it’s all that trust

Deleted Member

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I always turn location on,someone always knows where i am, I also always FaceTime first so I know who I am actually meeting. Meet up where you feel safe.
El****

El****

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I like to get to know them better first via internet. But that's because nobody is near me xD
If I would meet up with someone it would be in a nice cafe or restaurant and have a chat like with regular friends :)

Deleted Member

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make sure people who know you know where you are! any bad vibes, trust them!

Deleted Member

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Time reveals all intent. Its your best weapon against crazy people.

Slowly ramp up your trust.

Establish an online rapport, spend time having fun playing games online or watching movies together, etc.

Then when you meet for the first time, make sure its a public and neutral location, so that both of you can rely on the safety of there being a million witnesses. Do this a few times over the course of a month. Date publicly. Dinners, movies, etc.

Then after youve done all that, chances are likely that anyone thats crazy, or trying to get a quick lay, will have gotten bored or given up by now.

People who have no interest in YOU will not bother to waste their time getting to form a bons with you. Those that actually want to get to know you, will spend all the time in the world doing it. Thats how healthy friendships and relationships are formed.
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