Age filter?? Does this make me ageist?

[Je****]

Sorry if this is a rough one, but I wanted to enquire as I know I am not alone in my preferences. Age. 

 

Is there any way, or a way to incorporate an age limit on profiles, viewing, spanking favouriting you etc? 

 

I know there's an age limit on messages, but this is where my issue is. 

 

I am very strict on age, and the people I interact with. 

I have an age limit on people I would date sure, like most do, but while I have people filtered out of my messages, I can get rather uncomfortable when someone whos below an age bracket, is going through my photos, and profile. Liking all my pictures or writing (at times) sleazy things. I see the immaturity in some comments and being so young it just makes me feel slightly odd that these people have access to potentially my photos that may be of a more sensitive nature. 

I don't wish to hide all my photos as I do hope to appeal to the audience of my age or slightly older. 

I have also in the past approached people who I have been too young for. Which is fine, it's their preference but it could possibly cut out a lot of in-between if I perhaps would have known this, and not intruded beyond my means. 

I put my own profile in this position and I personally dislike having a lot of interest or interaction with younger than my preference, and thought others may be the same? I find some of these younger ones think of me of the "milf", "cougar" type and even try to persuade me in comments or at times if they have got through my filters, that they'd soon be within my age range. It feels a bit pushy and I just get uncomfortable.

It makes me feel awful as I feel ageist. But I cannot help my preference and comfort levels with how old people are. 

I know it's unlikely but if there ever was a way for the site to allow profiles an audience based on age ranges to view/interact? Maybe a toggle for someone to switch on if they wish, or leave off to leave any audience should they wish? 

Don't want bashed for this, but I can't help how and who with, I feel comfortable. 

 

Thanks for listening.

[DommeoftheUniverse]

Totally get this...I had put a disclaimer for younger men on my profile. I dont mind a curious question or redirecting someone. Its when they pm w rude inappropriate questions or remarks I perfer 45 & up myself.

[ol****]

I think you make a good point. I would be great if you could block by age or set an acceptable to you age range. 

Of course you can hide your photo content to an extent by making a private gallery.

[Deleted Member]

It's OK Great Grandaddy is used to it Some girls like older some dont.x

[Je****]

25 minutes ago, DommeoftheUniverse said:

Totally get this...I had put a disclaimer for younger men on my profile. I dont mind a curious question or redirecting someone. Its when they pm w rude inappropriate questions or remarks I perfer 45 & up myself.

Yeh that's it exactly. The messages I get at times or photo comments make me so uneasy that I have to delete them. The remarks I feel hit the self esteem bordering on objectification which I dislike unless in a specified dynamic 

[Je****]

24 minutes ago, oldfellow said:

I think you make a good point. I would be great if you could block by age or set an acceptable to you age range. 

Of course you can hide your photo content to an extent by making a private gallery.

It's not a block as such, but prevention, to message the profile or view it, but they are still visible to interact with on the forum or lobby etc. 

I honestly don't wish to privatise my content though, as they can or may deter people of preference from interaction which is the downside I guess

[Je****]

23 minutes ago, Salendine54 said:

It's OK Great Grandaddy is used to it Some girls like older some dont.x

I do like older, but then again some are way out of my age range. I think 45 pushing to 50 is more my preference. But at times I get spam views likes and interaction from people in their 60s or 70s and some people of this age at times view me a lot in the day during weeks at a time, without messaging me. 

Which is fine is view people ofc, for any age bracket, but I feel I'm sensitive with age more than some, and can get uneasy. But while it definitely goes both ways with age up and down, I personally am more uncomfortable with the younger set 

[Je****]

3 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Yet another delightfully helpful and constructive Fet comment that entirely misses the point of a post. It's been an amazing year for it. So much for building each other up and supporting one another 🙄

Jen - you aren't being ageist at all, you've got boundaries and would like a bit of help with  enforcing them for when folk are a bit creepy or act like jerks when they bypass them. I don't think that's very much to ask at all.

I know it may come across as insulting to this age bracket, or even generalising, but for me, even in person if someone talks to me or hits on me and they're considerably young, in the real life world, I still feel the same. The uncomfortable urge to get away from their sights. 

I can't help it. 

The older I get the more my age preference lifts higher, and the young ones on the site are closer to my child's age. Some people like younger men/women which is fab, if a toggle was in place they could leave it off, but for some who don't want this audience, I feel a toggle to set limits may benefit. 

Even one if switched on, and say an 18yr old (age chosen as the youngest available on this site) tried to view someone, me for example, were unable perhaps a pop up message (similar to the ignored pop up) would say, this profile is unable to be viewed due to profile filters. 

Saving that person, and me time on unwanted or unappreciated remarks/interaction. 

It maybe just all sounds bad and perhaps demanding, but as I said, I am not alone in the age aspect of things. I know of many members, mostly women who get all sorts from the youngest, newest, and inexperienced members who don't or can't grasp the boundaries of the age preference on the profile, even though it's written, they don't seem to read, and those who do, have in my experience, tried to convince me of their birthdays or maturity, which is nulled by the fact they're trying to persuade me to change or rearrange my limits. 

[Le****]

Of a site with nice features and one which takes care of users, they should have already implemented that. Could anyone make a fake profile, say they're 50 and easily bypass that? Sure, but still, user peace of mind should be paramount

[Je****]

1 minute ago, Lecs said:

Of a site with nice features and one which takes care of users, they should have already implemented that. Could anyone make a fake profile, say they're 50 and easily bypass that? Sure, but still, user peace of mind should be paramount

Yes. At one stage i had a member message me telling me they were 24, though their profile said they were 26. They said they changed it to bypass filters as my profile at the time stated filters don't allow certain ages to message. 

After that I removed that note in my profile and just say "no under 25s" please. But I do get views from a lot of younger ones, and my visitors, to my knowledge can't filter by age range, so I can see the visitors within my preferred range. 

[ElDomJuan]

That would be a nice feature which DevOps from this website and mobile app should implement. But, despite that, there will be always legitimate people which looks younger or older than they actually are.

[Je****]

7 minutes ago, ElDomJuan said:

That would be a nice feature which DevOps from this website and mobile app should implement. But, despite that, there will be always legitimate people which looks younger or older than they actually are.

Looks don't come into it. For me its age by profile. Not how old or young a person looks. 

But I do think it could be a useful feature to help people feel more at ease to narrow down their preffered audience and ultimately find what they seek here. 

Some older people may like younger attention and younger find older attention. And that would also enable them to find each other more easily cus the filters haven't blocked them out. 

[ol****]

1 hour ago, Finally_Jen said:

It's not a block as such, but prevention, to message the profile or view it, but they are still visible to interact with on the forum or lobby etc. 

I honestly don't wish to privatise my content though, as they can or may deter people of preference from interaction which is the downside I guess

I took another look at the message filters. 

If you set a lower age limit and select verified profiles only then I think that should take care of most issues. Also maybe try setting min length of message.

You say you don't want to limit what you put on your profile but want to limit who can see it age wise. That's for those who run the site to sort out but it might not be high on the list of things they want to do.

...and no, this does not make you ageist. You know your own mind.

Edited December 4, 2022 by oldfellow

[Je****]

1 minute ago, oldfellow said:

I took another look at the message filters. 

If you set a lower age limit and select verified profiles only then I think that should take care of most issues. Also maybe try setting min length of message.

You say you don't want to limit what you put on your profile but want to limit who can see it age wise. That's for those who run the site to sort out but it might not be high on the list of things they want to do.

Ive all them settings and filters in place

I am just uncomfortable with some of the comments i get from a younger audience

And spam views i dont even wish to think about. I know i am not alone in that

If they could set an age filtet i feel a lot will benefit from it

[Deleted Member]

I wouldn't feel too bad about it. Young men have a load of hormones and stuff bouncing around their bodies. A quote from Billy Connolly is something on the lines of. "His willy doesn't know the difference between a woman and a bus". The slightest thing can get a young'un horny. When I was a young chef I had to stand very close to my prep table to hide my embarrassment because my mind was constant thinking about girls or sex. Some of the older waitresses in their 40s and 50s could drive me insane. I would even sometimes have to go to the toilet to crack one off it was so bad.
I get that the thought of them drooling over you and making sleazy comments can be a little disquietning, but it is just the same them as looking at a porn mag or online porn. They are young men with the little head ruling the big head. Boys will be boys and it won't change.

[Deleted Member]

Ageist 😂 do people ever stop coming up with random words as if it means something, everyone has preferences, just go with what you prefer its not that hard

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, alexis13 said:

So much for constructive criticism, dead in this age of toxic positivity, where we're getting to the point of forgiving the atrocities of kim-jong-un and memeing him up as a good guy.

Because no one has the courage to say "this guy is wrong" it's the same with every problem now, small or great, nothing but empty flattery is allowed.

The thing is, your comment was lacking in the constructive element. It was akin to saying that someones preference/boundary is something that they should 'get over'.

Anything that provides a member more choice/control here is a positive I think

[Erebus]

I totally get what you are saying Jen I have a similar issue with certain ages, it feels wrong to me when younger people view my profile, but what makes this feeling worse for me is the sites matching system that insists on matching me with 18-19yo females based solely on the fact that they are into the same things as I am… that may well be but engaging with that age group would just feel plain wrong to me. Maybe it’s time the whole system is looked at to make age selection a little easier for people to make choices on what they want to view and who they want to be viewed by?

[Je****]

50 minutes ago, omii said:

Ageist 😂 do people ever stop coming up with random words as if it means something, everyone has preferences, just go with what you prefer its not that hard

ageist

/ˈeɪdʒɪst/

Learn to pronounce

adjective

characterized by or showing prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's age.

"a lot of ageist jokes about not being able to use technology"

noun

a person with ageist views.

"critics who contend that her age is an issue have been dismissed as ageists who are out of touch with the times"

 

 

 

Yes its made up. Thats why it's a recognised word / term on Google for all to see 🙄🙄🙄

You're a classic example on the maturity level I am nodding towards on here. 

 

Thank you!!!!!!!

[Deleted Member]

4 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

ageist

/ˈeɪdʒɪst/

Learn to pronounce

adjective

characterized by or showing prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's age.

"a lot of ageist jokes about not being able to use technology"

noun

a person with ageist views.

"critics who contend that her age is an issue have been dismissed as ageists who are out of touch with the times"

 

 

 

Yes its made up. Thats why it's a recognised word / term on Google for all to see 🙄🙄🙄

You're a classic example on the maturity level I am nodding towards on here. 

 

Thank you!!!!!!!

You really need some george carlin in your life, thank me later

[Je****]

2 minutes ago, omii said:

You really need some george carlin in your life, thank me later

Think il up my age limit to 26. 

Clearly 25 is not up to par for me. 😁

Thanks.

[Deleted Member]

Honoured to within the acceptable age bracket. Seriously though there's nothing wrong with preferences. We can't control who we are or not attracted to.

[Zela]

Absolutely agree with you. I experience the exact same thing and find myself putting the more personal pictures in private mode. I have also written my age preference and even put in my limits the age cutoff. However seing as MANY have never learned the wonderful art of reading and critical thinking, I get messages from young dudes claiming they prefer older women. I could be your mother man, hell no!

[Erebus]

46 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

Think il up my age limit to 26. 

Clearly 25 is not up to par for me. 😁

Thanks.

Ouch I felt the heat from that one all the way down south!🤣😂🤣

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Erebus said:

I totally get what you are saying Jen I have a similar issue with certain ages, it feels wrong to me when younger people view my profile, but what makes this feeling worse for me is the sites matching system that insists on matching me with 18-19yo females based solely on the fact that they are into the same things as I am… that may well be but engaging with that age group would just feel plain wrong to me. Maybe it’s time the whole system is looked at to make age selection a little easier for people to make choices on what they want to view and who they want to be viewed by?

This! Stop giving me matches that are so much younger. We're not a match, and I haven't been able to find a way to tailor the matches so the ***ure is remotely useful to me. Matches for me exist between 35 and 50, but everyone's preferences are unique so let us set paramaters and then suggest peeps.