Less than 10 minutes to go boom

[QXX666]

You could set your messge filter with a minimum of characters. That would weed out fairly quickly the idiots who can’t converse much other than ask for a pic…

[Ar****]

2 hours ago, leanneandmartin said:

And lastly I think it would be great for people to use sites for their intended purposes. Simply if you want to chat and take your time go to Facebook, if you want a hook up go to tinder, if you want fetish filth come here. Stop bleeding them into each other, it's exhausting and highly frustrating for everyone who is serious about seeking out their desires in their little very precious free time.

I'd suggest using the sites you mention for whatever works for you, and not telling others how they ought to use them. An it harm none, do what ye will, if you follow.

People have been using this site for years now to "chat and take their time" building up connections as part of a supportive online community; people now use FB to try to date and hook up, and Tindr has steered itself away from the hook-up culture it promoted when it first launched. There is nothing wrong with using any such sites for the reasons you mentioned, but they should not be restricted just because you or a handful of others don't feel you have the time to manage ignoring those who don't align with your interests. The flip side is people who don't feel they have the time to pigeon-hole different aspects of their life into different sites and want to get as much as they can from as few sites as possible - which this site can be pretty good for.

Out of curiosity, do you consider all fetishes/kinks to be "filth" by default?

[DarkArts1066]

7 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

Because apparently no doesn't mean no
Because, for the masses, we're nothing but wank fodder

Sadly Copper, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there - in one sentence. It shouldn’t be that way.

[DarkArts1066]

3 hours ago, 4RCH said:

Absolutely - Have to say I do love a good debate

Agreed … and this certainly is an emotive one.

[Cr****]

I empathise and feel for you @locketheart!!

[Deleted Member]

Recently crossed the worse ones. They are all sweet and polite HERE, but once you go outside this site... like day and night. Pushy like you described! Bye-bye ASAP!

[Cr****]

11 minutes ago, kiseu said:

Recently crossed the worse ones. They are all sweet and polite HERE, but once you go outside this site... like day and night. Pushy like you described! Bye-bye ASAP!

Careful when generalizing. Not everyone is Iike that!!!

My M.O: communication, trust, respect. I give those and expect the same in return.
Integrity always

[Cr****]

12 minutes ago, kiseu said:

Recently crossed the worse ones. They are all sweet and polite HERE, but once you go outside this site... like day and night. Pushy like you described! Bye-bye ASAP!

Sorry I just reread your comment and realized you’re referring by to the “worse ones”.
.
Nevermind :)

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, Aranhis said:

I'd suggest using the sites you mention for whatever works for you, and not telling others how they ought to use them. An it harm none, do what ye will, if you follow.

People have been using this site for years now to "chat and take their time" building up connections as part of a supportive online community; people now use FB to try to date and hook up, and Tindr has steered itself away from the hook-up culture it promoted when it first launched. There is nothing wrong with using any such sites for the reasons you mentioned, but they should not be restricted just because you or a handful of others don't feel you have the time to manage ignoring those who don't align with your interests. The flip side is people who don't feel they have the time to pigeon-hole different aspects of their life into different sites and want to get as much as they can from as few sites as possible - which this site can be pretty good for.

Out of curiosity, do you consider all fetishes/kinks to be "filth" by default?

People can and absolutely do use apps and sites how they wish to, I'm just saying that that then opens up opportunities of misunderstanding especially in different approach styles when what people are using the same site for is vastly different. It's great to have apps that allow you to take your time, I think it would also be great for an app that removes accounts outside of it intended use, I would happily pay £50 a month to know 100% for sure that each and every user is completely serious about meeting asap. This would be a huge financial saving for someone such as myself when iv lost out on 100s if not thousands over the years in travel, accommodation, pet cover aswell as taking up my only day off that week ect just to be stood up or ghosted after online chatting "taking my time" . So understandably people can become impatient when they are putting lots of work in and they might just cut directly to the chase in their approach to a profile they are interested in. My point is that just because they go about things in such a way doesn't make them fake, or poor quality of any other descriptors people wanna use to exclude them and instead they should be invited into broader conversation. Fetlife is really great for its diversity of kinks, it would turn into a pretty poor quality /fake place if diversity of opinion is lost on here to. If people don't like difference they should get a parrot instead of trying to create echo Chambers. I use 'filth' as a positive only, and in opposition to vanilla more than a label for kinks. I'm the biggest fan of filth 😘 I am chatting on here after all.

[AKA_Copper]

9 hours ago, leanneandmartin said:

I have multiple issues with both the status and replies, firstly it could come down to the fact the profile in question has a single faceless photo . Secondly more people than not are visually stimulated , pics are hotter than text. Thirdly I imagine it's hard for new people to establish lines on the site and from profile to profile when the feed is full of pics of sex and people asking to meet up, hardly gives off 'let's talk vibes'. personally I think it's all wrong here in the status, comments, and site. there is no such thing as a "fake" dom, the difference is merely inexperienced dom vs experienced and no two doms are the same. And this all seems like a way of everyone piling onto men. To all the ladies out there !!!! If you don't like the way in which men approach...... you try approaching people you are attracted to yourself to understand their pressures instead of just reporting the profile instantly. Can't believe the vanilla world bs is fully leaking into the fet community.

You've taken an interesting approach here, calling someone out for having a faceless avatar, suggesting *every comment is attacking those presenting as masc and then, suggesting that the community here on Fet has become too vanilla which I'm assuming by which you mean too judgemental (maybe I'm projecting...) just a little ironic no?

[Deleted Member]

Bc ppl feel entitled and no means nothing to them. They are privileged and have no care for others in the world at all. Also post on your profile you don’t want unsolicited photos and that helps a lot!

[no****]

I love the moonbats that ask for more pics without having one in profile

[Deleted Member]

16 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

You've taken an interesting approach here, calling someone out for having a faceless avatar, suggesting *every comment is attacking those presenting as masc and then, suggesting that the community here on Fet has become too vanilla which I'm assuming by which you mean too judgemental (maybe I'm projecting...) just a little ironic no?

Hi copper, I just have empathy for those who actively go out seeking what it is that they want, its no easy task with a multitude of obstacles and instead of putting less favourable approaches on blast or reporting the profile I think a polite conversation should take place instead. When iv discussed about vanilla I personally feel that there is an unending list of sites and apps for vanilla that serve great purposes sure, but that doesn't mean that it has to also carry over into the very few app created for things other than vanilla such as this one. As someone mentioned above tinder has completely been ruined and pulled far away from its intended purpose and it would sadden me to see the same thing happen to one of the last remaining 'none vanilla' sites for people to enjoy. Simply this site is amazing because its not vanilla, does anyone sign into fetlife to see pretty much' diary 'entries in the feed or do they sign in because it's a place of open sexual interests. Without fetlife it would be really difficult for a person like myself to escape the vanilla that's all around in everyday life.

[FETMOD-BD]

1 hour ago, leanneandmartin said:

Without fetlife it would be really difficult for a person like myself to escape the vanilla that's all around in everyday life.

Just to be clear - this site is Fetish not Fetlife, which is a completely different site and noting to do with us.

[John54]

Leanneandmartin, whilst I appreciate the statistical truth of the point you make about there not being many outlets for kink interests, surely you must understand that unless a relationship is going to be particularly vacuous there needs to be a wide range of

[John54]

Sorry - it went before I finished. I was going to say I could hear your frustration but I'd personally want the opportunity of forming a relationship based on a much rounder range of interests than just kink

[Leisa]

I took my face photos and made them private about a year ago for personal and professional reasons. I can understand your frustration. I can also understand their desire to put a face to the person they’re trying to open up with. That doesn’t give them the right to pressure you before you’re ready and willing though. Unfortunately, in the age of catfishing, there is a large sect of the population that need an oral fixation to become stimulated so to speak to form an interest.

[ms****]

I understand your frustration but some people need to have an emotional connection as well as a physical one too. So my question to you is if you spent a lot of time getting to know someone and you want to take it to the next level, then you finally show them what you looked like and they aren’t attracted to you and then ghosted you how would you feel? Probably worse I’m assuming. No offense to you at all just playing devils advocate

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, mssab321 said:

I understand your frustration but some people need to have an emotional connection as well as a physical one too. So my question to you is if you spent a lot of time getting to know someone and you want to take it to the next level, then you finally show them what you looked like and they aren’t attracted to you and then ghosted you how would you feel? Probably worse I’m assuming. No offense to you at all just playing devils advocate

How about being exactly the same as you mentioned, but instead of ghosting they just wanted to "play and use". I have no idea which is worse. A few guys tried this on me. To be honest on a superficial level, they were only "above" average. I had hotter guys than them, but kept my mouth shut. 

[lo****]

31 minutes ago, kiseu said:

How about being exactly the same as you mentioned, but instead of ghosting they just wanted to "play and use". I have no idea which is worse. A few guys tried this on me. To be honest on a superficial level, they were only "above" average. I had hotter guys than them, but kept my mouth shut. 

I have been in both circumstances, as I AM one of those who need the connection. They both suck, but being played with and used as another notch in the belt so speak is definitely worse.

[Deleted Member]

41 minutes ago, locketheart said:

I have been in both circumstances, as I AM one of those who need the connection. They both suck, but being played with and used as another notch in the belt so speak is definitely worse.

You are right. Realizing their intentions was hurting, because I saw how dirty people actually can be. This really saddened me...

To add: If I want to be played and used, it will a top level hot guy... the looks, body and takes me out to nice restaurants. It's not going to some average or "above" average low grade quality. I am not that stupid!😁

Edited December 11, 2022 by Deleted Member

[bu****]

People tend to suck like that sadly

[Deleted Member]

I really wish it wasn't this way... 

Edited December 14, 2022 by Deleted Member

[ma****]

People just suck

[In****]

If I’m honest the only reason I go for profiles with pictures is in my experience they’re more likely to be active and actually have a filled out profile you want to gauge someone by what they have to say, yes physical attraction is a part of a relationship but not all of it the majority of a relationship is based on interaction and how you act with each other