Message etiquette

[Chloebear]

5 hours ago, newyorkgal said:

I am nowhere near perfectionism. I am not saying you are not a good human if you don’t respond to every message and I am sorry if it came across that way. I am saying if you are in a relationship with someone you should take the time to respond to messages.

In a relationship…. Yes, and in this arena also yes with an established dynamic, since communication is so important. I think the first reply was a bit unclear but this is certainly true. If people’s communication drops off it’s usually a bad sign…

[ey****]

by extension - if you are in any form of relationship with someone they will understand if you can't reply speedily and/or know when it's cool to prod 

there's someone I talk to frequently who is working two jobs and, so will leave me on read if she is working, tired or if she is drinking and then I will wake up the next morning to a reply.   But that's cos I know how she operates.  

[4R****]

20 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

there's someone I talk to frequently who is working two jobs and, so will leave me on read if she is working, tired or if she is drinking and then I will wake up the next morning to a reply.   But that's cos I know how she operates.  

I guess you've in some way communicated this way of messaging - be it actually had a conversation or you've come to learn each other's communication style.
Is that fair to say?

[ey****]

3 hours ago, 4RCH said:

I guess you've in some way communicated this way of messaging - be it actually had a conversation or you've come to learn each other's communication style.
Is that fair to say?

mostly through learning - but also there's been times when she has apologised for not replying sooner and then a reason and that's easy enough

there's other folk who communicate differently and some can be difficult I guess; but I think one of the common mistakes folk make is is confusing someone's free time as their availability.  And I guess if someone does find someone's communication style to be frustrating; it's a sign they won't work anyway

[ge****]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

mostly through learning - but also there's been times when she has apologised for not replying sooner and then a reason and that's easy enough

there's other folk who communicate differently and some can be difficult I guess; but I think one of the common mistakes folk make is is confusing someone's free time as their availability.  And I guess if someone does find someone's communication style to be frustrating; it's a sign they won't work anyway

Exactly and that's the thing with on-line messaging - everyone has different ways of approaching it, so there's no point trying to second guess anything, especially with people you don't know that well - best approach is to accept that they may or may not reply and the choice over whether to, or when to, is theirs.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

Exactly and that's the thing with on-line messaging - everyone has different ways of approaching it, so there's no point trying to second guess anything, especially with people you don't know that well - best approach is to accept that they may or may not reply and the choice over whether to, or when to, is theirs.

I lot of this ties in with what Arch was saying before - but I think the simplest is a lack of response usually means they don't *presently* want to speak with you.  

[Po****]

Sounds like you’re stepping a few steps ahead instead of seeing where you are. They agreed to a conversation with a person. Not to be your future sub.

[Deleted Member]

This is an old thread I came upon while checking out some abandoned profile, but it spokes to me nonetheless. I'm not an E-Dom. By that I mean I don't tell someone when to text or call. That's not my style. Everything I do that's Dom related is all done face to face. When I'm talking to someone online, they get about 25% of my personality/interest.

From past experiences with the online world, I have adapted my way of detaching myself from online expectations. The concept of "Ghosting" has been around from the very beginning, it just didn't have a catchy name to the basic bottomline that I am trying to say is, I have zero expectations of receiving a reply when I message someone new.

I guess I would relate it to fishing. You cast your line(s) out and hope there's a bite. Someday there's no fish that are interested, or the fish makes off with your lure after a little back and fourth. You don't dwell on that ONE fish that took of, right? No. You sigh, grumble, say some stupid shit under your breath, and you cast another line out. You move on from that fish. That fish doesn't ruin your fishing trip.

Lower your expectations would be my honest advice. Don't focus so much on one fish. There's always going to be a bigger and better prize, just be patient.
No one owes you anything when it comes to online dating. Until you meet in person, your just talking to 1's and 0's.

Cast your lines and lures out then go relax and live your best life. Don't obsess over the vast and endless ocean while waiting for the fish to bite. It's unhealthy.

I don't expect this to be read, , but I had to write my thoughts down. Thanks for reading my rants. Peace. ✌️