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The chase.

By Deleted Member
in New to BDSM, Kink & Fetish?

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Deleted Member

Posted

Just a question that has me a little curious. Not sure why, just does.

Do the ladies on the site ever chase or make the first move? As in message first? Or is it as it has been for millennia, mostly the male prerogative or 'duty' to pursue the female or whatever gender? 

No agenda, just curious to know.

typhoon2

typhoon2

Posted
Sometimes I reach out. Sometimes they contact me. Neither necessarily leads to anything but I've enjoyed a number of liaisons as a result. Personally I enjoy ladies who are confident enough to make contact, despite centuries of social conditioning.
Al****

Al****

Posted
19 minutes ago, PerryDom said:

The Scammers msg first 😀

I think those do not even msg first. They spank you 😂

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
I post - or participate on a thread and they come find me
Se****

Se****

Posted
Yes, lots of the female subs definitely message first. And then repeatedly view your profile 🤣
ge****

ge****

Posted
As is the answer to most questions like this, some will, some won't - but unlike some men, who would message a blank profile with no pics, you have to give them something to want to message you about.
.
I've had plenty of first messages from women in my year on the site, either off the back of a forum post, or as a result of my profile.
.
If you're a man sat there with a blank or limited profile and don't get involved in the forums and chat rooms then I wouldn't expect any first messages from women though, not genuine ones who aren't after scamming you in some way anyhow.
kimutu72

kimutu72

Posted
I have took the first step afew times wether it be a comment, a spank or a message

Deleted Member

Posted
  • Author
46 minutes ago, MannyATXinPhilly said:

You gotta message them first

Sorry, are you saying it has to be the 'guys' to message first or are you questioning why should chaps message first?

Ro****

Ro****

Posted
Ive had a handful of women message me first, but there is definately a much higher number of men to message me first.
UK****

UK****

Posted

I've had a few genuine women message first (in amongst the scammers).

I'm not surprised at all that most of the contact is initiated by the males, if a women joins her inbox is inundated with messages from guys, she barely has the time to answer the ones that might be interested in, let alone time to be more proactive.

StaindGlassHeart

StaindGlassHeart

Posted
2 minutes ago, UK_Knight said:

I've had a few genuine women message first (in amongst the scammers).

I'm not surprised at all that most of the contact is initiated by the males, if a women joins her inbox is inundated with messages from guys, she barely has the time to answer the ones that might be interested in, let alone time to be more proactive.

UK_Knight is exactly right.

Ki****

Ki****

Posted
Yes, the ladies on the site DO occasionally make the first move. Just not usually when someone comes on questionably in their profile. And rarely if ever when a profile is not filled out. There are enough questions when meeting someone new and it's hard enough to trust. Tell us SOMETHING about yourself, not just about your kinks and fantasies. We're all aware of most of that already, lol, and we can wade through our personal choices AFTER we actually decide we want to. Beides it CAN be perfectly clear if you bother to fill out the profile. And sending a pic of your dick is really not necessary as an opening message. Honest words stand a better chance.
Class will always out itself, as will a lack of class. PEACE
kimutu72

kimutu72

Posted

I definatley agree, the amount of dick pics or first messages that Im sure they wouldn say to a woman face to face, I dnt bother answering just block

ey****

ey****

Posted

obviously excluding scammers

yes, I have had women make the first move on here (and elsewhere) although in some cases I do have the "are they just being nice or are they interested" moments

I do recall a couple of ladies from the site who said they had had frustrations when making the first move - a mix of knowing how hard it can be for guys and also "Hey, I am interested in this person so why hope they message" - but then had a frustrating time, often for example guys asking them to prove they're real or jump through ridiculous hoops.   

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