If you've been through trauma, read this!

[Deleted Member]

8 hours ago, DontYukSomeonesYum said:

That is really interesting! I think this is why I haven’t indulged my submissive side because I need to be able to trust that person. I really struggle to see how anyone can participate in the things I want to do without it being in a relationship, I don’t understand how anyone would want to give their submission to a stranger/a casual partner

Maybe for some, deep intimacy is the trigger? Where betrayal feels unrecoverable. So casual relationships feel safer for them because they don't have to trust anyone but themselves? At least that's my perspective after my divorce. I can't speak for anyone else really. But I am curious what other's input may be?

[Silvercaternin]

It's good to know others struggle with this both Doms Subs and in-between. the reason why I'm careful choosing as I would hate in the middle of a session/ training I get triggered. It's a big boner kill

[Deleted Member]

It's through trauma that i don't like domination. I get real scared and uncomfortable when someone is exerting control, physical, mental or emotional, over me. It's through that same trauma that i want TO dominate and exert my own control over someone, but i feel gross when i think that.

[revolution_89]

Add a layer diagnosis of autism and you have a cluster fuck to unravel I didn't even know I had childhood trauma or was ***d I thought it was normal it wasn't till this year that I found out that is why I cling to ppl that validate me and have trouble making friends and can't *** with partners.

[Aoi_41]

Between religion and childhood trauma, I was confused. I think many adults struggle with allowing their true self to evolve through exploration. Simply by being honest with themselves and others.

Every person who has experienced trauma knows that to truly navigate it, the ladder to rise above comes through building a strong foundation. Know why you are experiencing the thoughts or feelings you are having, accept them as part of yourself...

Learn to love the you the experience made you into.

For me, BDSM has allowed me to work on my traumas, and to grow. I fall, all the time, but having a community of people willing to help, guide, and encourage, has made a difference.

[RivetingAlice]

Thank U 4 this statement! This is definitely truth.

[Cu****]

Ok, so I am new to all of this and diagnosed as CPTSD but have been drawn to BDSM for a while but now able and maybe willing to explore this more for myself, how do you know if something will trigger something without trying it? 

I know I may sound stupid and nieve but there is an element of *** built up based on that idea that doesn’t sit well. I mean there is an element of *** in everyday life that can trigger but if its a sexual trigger and you want to understand these things how do you push past them in order to accept the BDSM side and not feel it’s a self sabotaging method in itself?

[ms****]

Tuesday at 11:48 PM, Curiouslykinked said:

Ok, so I am new to all of this and diagnosed as CPTSD but have been drawn to BDSM for a while but now able and maybe willing to explore this more for myself, how do you know if something will trigger something without trying it? 

I know I may sound stupid and nieve but there is an element of *** built up based on that idea that doesn’t sit well. I mean there is an element of *** in everyday life that can trigger but if its a sexual trigger and you want to understand these things how do you push past them in order to accept the BDSM side and not feel it’s a self sabotaging method in itself?

Oh it's a mindfield and one hell of a rollercoaster journey. Simple answer in my opinion is you don't know the difference. Do I like this because of trauma or do I enjoy it .. I can circle the drain. I use a sub journal. What I liked and didn't. Why. Did I feel good after etc.

[Aoi_41]

Tuesday at 11:48 PM, Curiouslykinked said:

Ok, so I am new to all of this and diagnosed as CPTSD but have been drawn to BDSM for a while but now able and maybe willing to explore this more for myself, how do you know if something will trigger something without trying it? 

I know I may sound stupid and nieve but there is an element of *** built up based on that idea that doesn’t sit well. I mean there is an element of *** in everyday life that can trigger but if its a sexual trigger and you want to understand these things how do you push past them in order to accept the BDSM side and not feel it’s a self sabotaging method in itself?

Like I said, I fall all the time. There will always be triggers. Trust your Dom.. or whomever you are with to help guide you.

Come here for suggestions.

I love the sub diary idea. I write poetry, draw, and ***t all occasionally. Those feelings mean something important to you... Express yourself... and when you are comfortable sharing they will be meaningful to others too.