Chatroom Rules For Those Who Don't Find Them Clear.

[Chloebear]

Here’s one to add- if regulars, calmly and politely, remind of rules, don’t jump on them and go berserk with name calling. That’s for regs and newbies. Maintenance of room rules is for the benefit of all lobby users AND to help those new to chat not get booted out within five minutes. 

Also, there is banter in the lobby with regulars. If you’re new that could look like it’s ok to be less respectful I suspect. Some of us have known each other a while… treat it like meeting a new group of friends, get to know people a bit before wading into that banter.
 

Separately….
 

Tbh I think being disrespectful about topics such as DV is worse, and that happened to me in there the other day. I’m one of many old regs who now finds the lobby at best hard work and at worst hostile. You either give up trying to support room rules or accept hostility and snide remarks on a daily basis. That’s why I’m joining the list of people that are out. When I’m in that room it’s to give advice & safety tips etc not to be insulted by people because they think safety is optional or room rules are for Karens. 

Hope you get it fixed, nonetheless 💕

[Mr****]

5 hours ago, Mz_Whiplash said:

What consists as a heavy topic ? 

Topics about bricks, scaffolding poles and whales, I hope this helps 😊

[Chloebear]

By the way, this is still up on support: https://fetish.servicecenter.de/en-us/article/399-what-are-the-chat-rules

[Ch****]

I do think people should be allowed to ask if others in the lobby are from there area. Maybe they just want to make sure that there's no 1 in the lobby that lives near them. They could be shy or scared.

 

I actually saw a member in a local shop.

 We were both getting our food shopping.  I was with my master at the time. We both blushed rather badly smiled an carried on shopping.  I'm actually shy in real life. Although  people who have meet me will.go no charms shy.  But when iv meet people of here I'm normally with my master wearing my collar an lead so I'm in a totally different mind set. Then I'm concentrating just on what my master wants an needs. I have a focus point. But away from that I'm extremely shy an nervous. If I'm out with my house mate iv actually had to go to him it's to peoplely an then we find me a place to sit safely and I will put on my 🎧  an listen to some music or audio book so I calm down

[Je****]

5 hours ago, Charms said:

I do think people should be allowed to ask if others in the lobby are from there area. Maybe they just want to make sure that there's no 1 in the lobby that lives near them. They could be shy or scared.

 

I actually saw a member in a local shop.

 We were both getting our food shopping.  I was with my master at the time. We both blushed rather badly smiled an carried on shopping.  I'm actually shy in real life. Although  people who have meet me will.go no charms shy.  But when iv meet people of here I'm normally with my master wearing my collar an lead so I'm in a totally different mind set. Then I'm concentrating just on what my master wants an needs. I have a focus point. But away from that I'm extremely shy an nervous. If I'm out with my house mate iv actually had to go to him it's to peoplely an then we find me a place to sit safely and I will put on my 🎧  an listen to some music or audio book so I calm down

Sorry I don't agree. 

Maybe 1 in 300 people people who come in there will ask where people are situated for genuine help reasons. The other 299 do not. 

Its non stop and clogs chat. 

Anyone wanting to know where someone is can check people's profiles.

(More people need to read on here tbh).

That way they can actually gain a bit of understanding from bios as well as learn locations. 

Sadly the majority who ask do it to seek and it's beyond tiring now. :/ 

 

See what the mods think anwyay, up to them.

 

[Ha****]

5 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

Sorry I don't agree. 

Maybe 1 in 300 people people who come in there will ask where people are situated for genuine help reasons. The other 299 do not. 

Its non stop and clogs chat. 

Anyone wanting to know where someone is can check people's profiles.

(More people need to read on here tbh).

That way they can actually gain a bit of understanding from bios as well as learn locations. 

Sadly the majority who ask do it to seek and it's beyond tiring now. :/ 

 

See what the mods think anwyay, up to them.

 

If more people started reading on this app, it would be a big step forward. The next step would logically be reading comprehension.

[Je****]

8 hours ago, Chloebear said:

Here’s one to add- if regulars, calmly and politely, remind of rules, don’t jump on them and go berserk with name calling. That’s for regs and newbies. Maintenance of room rules is for the benefit of all lobby users AND to help those new to chat not get booted out within five minutes. 

I read this in two ways. 

Don't jump on a member who's advising another member of the rules... 

And don't jump on a person who's advising another of rules, (jump-er being a mod). 

I've seen both instances happen. 

From the mods I know of in chat i can say 4 I've seen have done great. 2 others need to go. No mod should be tackling anyone who's advising on chat rules, it's their job yeh, but if they lurk and don't do anything, why just wait til someone does speak up, then have a go at them. Then they ignore the aggression in chat and just focus on those trying to en*** rules with the 689th person whos came in seeking. It shouldn't be happening. It's gross. (I could go on but that is a whole different topic)..

Some mods imo need gone. I've seen one or two newer ones lately who seem fab and the tone is much better in there whether they're visible or not. 

 

❤️

 

As for those newbies jumping on regulars, yes it's the same thing. No bullying name calling and insults. Should literally be covered by every member on this site, for every and any instance in that room. So what I have seen, and feel you mean, you tell someone "check rules as no seeking". Person gets defensive, lashes back. 

Ok. So?? Rightly let them kick off. Everyone else needs to maintain their calm and report that/those comments and ignore any aggression and move the conversation on. Let the mod or admin team deal with them. 

Instead when someone comes in and someone is aggressive after being told a rule, they lash back and every other Tom Dick and Harry (regular or not) jump on that person and the whole thing escalates and is prolonged. This is what I am referring to in a couple of those points. 

No one should come in and lash at anyone for advising on rules. No one should lash at someone who is retaliating due to not know rules/the room. And as I said, doesn't help some mods don't act on the drama, only when rules are being en***d or advice given. It's just sad, but 🤷😫

Perhaps if Fet had a different way to make the rules more clear it could prevent all this. On my phone browser its just chat rules in bold. 

No pop up, if it's underlined its not noticeable enough and is lost in some other text around it. People wont bother looking at that. 

Perhaps a pop up that you manually have to scroll down to accept can be introduced before you enter chat. 

Perhaps one that is there once a week or month. Honestly it'll help the flow. 

Edited April 25, 2023 by Finally_Jen
Typos

[Je****]

6 minutes ago, ThatsHard said:

If more people started reading on this app, it would be a big step forward. The next step would logically be reading comprehension.

If people read on this site id probably have fallen for someone else a lot quicker by now 😬🤣🤣

[Chloebear]

Yea it’s the escalation, I guess it’s that people act on their own pre-existing dislike of others to pile on with any excuse…. 
 

Agree, one of the new mods in particular was very good the other day and very supportive. 

[Ch****]

The thing is how many people actually look at profiles. I do as I need to know were people live . No I'm not a stalker I just have personal reasons.

But not every one does. So nothing wrong in asking were a person lives it's just like asking what food do.you like. 

 

Yes you get people abusing that asking the question.  But you get people who come in the room an go straight to the I need 2 fu k thing with out even a hi how are you all 

 

There's also never enough mods about in the night uk time witch happens to be day time in other countries. 

 

There should be permanent mods that are checking the chat rooms regular. I used to ues a different chat site an they always had a mod or even 2 that was always checking the different rooms on the site.  This 1 had 10 chat rooms so it can be done.  I know because I was a mod on this site many years ago. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say it's name in case it's classed as advertising. But it's still about now. It was a vanila site. But in fact it was were I meet my 1st kinkster. 

[Je****]

3 hours ago, Charms said:

The thing is how many people actually look at profiles. I do as I need to know were people live . No I'm not a stalker I just have personal reasons.

But not every one does. So nothing wrong in asking were a person lives it's just like asking what food do.you like. 

 

Yes you get people abusing that asking the question.  But you get people who come in the room an go straight to the I need 2 fu k thing with out even a hi how are you all 

 

There's also never enough mods about in the night uk time witch happens to be day time in other countries. 

 

There should be permanent mods that are checking the chat rooms regular. I used to ues a different chat site an they always had a mod or even 2 that was always checking the different rooms on the site.  This 1 had 10 chat rooms so it can be done.  I know because I was a mod on this site many years ago. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say it's name in case it's classed as advertising. But it's still about now. It was a vanila site. But in fact it was were I meet my 1st kinkster. 

How many people actually look at profiles? That for me, in the most respectful way, is their problem. EVERY profile on here has a location set. Albeit from it where theyve set it to just outside their personal area, to ones that have the gps location thing specific. 

If someone was to come in for personal reasons, such as "***ing someone is too close", "friends" or otherwise, all they need to do is click the profiles and see. That's what this site is about. Sadly there is like 1% of people who actually really care for local friends. The rest, it is seeking. There is absolutely no way in heck its for any other reason. Those who want friends or local munch and venue advice usually say when they ask, those are the genuine ones, but again, it rarely is that. It's not our job in chat to tell someone every single time they come in where we are. It happens maybe 30 times a day "anyone in Nashville?", "anyone in Scotland?" and so on... It's seeking. 

I know you have your personal reasons for asking, I also know you in person and you are a genuine human being on here looking to connect with friends and events, and that to me is fabulous. It's a shame people aren't always looking for reasons such as yourself really,, but again it's their job to look at their filters and newsfeed and check profiles themselves, otherwise chat would clog up.

 

The people who come in asking who's horny or who's here to fuck, are a whole different problem and possibly 95% of those who are coming in, which is sad. The other 4% are people who have actually read rules, who want to chat generally and learn and those people become part of the regular community. We have even tried directing the "want to fuck" people to the *** site here Fuck.com. But they can't be bothered a lot of the time, hurl *** then leave. Perhaps if they seen the rules and had to scroll through them, there's at least a small chance something on there will catch their eye and they'll think, "ahh I won't bother" or "oh this is what this is about, I'll go check it out". Would save so much hassle in that room lol. 

 

As for Mods, I feel the new one has done a fab job and upon my lurking, I've watched them interact and the vibe of the room is fantastic. Honestly hats off to Fet on that one. One other mod who I see there regular I would also say is good at enforcing rules and maintaining the flow. Imo the others aren't necessary. They don't really do much tbh. 

 

Yes there should really be a Mod in all times tbh, I am usually sleeping so I have no idea what the night time chat is like now, but I feel it can be a bit hard as it's usually a USA crowd at night due to the timezone and most Mods I have seen are UK/Europe. So it's unfair of them being over here so to speak, monitoring something all through the night. Perhaps some USA mods, or from that region will join their team and help things that way. Up to the Fetlords haha.

[4R****]

Something to be aware of is that Fetish have different mods for different reasons. you could have 3 mods online but all of them be Forum mods. So when you’re hitting the “call mod” button, they won’t see it because they are not “chat” mods and this can make them appear ineffective. 
 

You can see a list of the mods and their roles if you dig into the depths of the “about fetish” pages.

[Je****]

4 minutes ago, 4RCH said:

Something to be aware of is that Fetish have different mods for different reasons. you could have 3 mods online but all of them be Forum mods. So when you’re hitting the “call mod” button, they won’t see it because they are not “chat” mods and this can make them appear ineffective. 
 

You can see a list of the mods and their roles if you dig into the depths of the “about fetish” pages.

In understand this. This is not what I was meaning if you are replying to me. My noticing has been much deeper x

[4R****]

32 minutes ago, Finally_Jen said:

In understand this. This is not what I was meaning if you are replying to me. My noticing has been much deeper x

I wasn't replying to you specifically - more of a general comment.