Does your partner have to be as kinky as you?

[Roseboymask]

I'm wondering if a relationship won't be as fun if your partner isn't kinky too, or maybe I'm wrong and just over thinking this. 

What do you think?

[un****]

she doesn’t have to be extremely kinky however completely vanilla is a dealbreaker in relationships like if its casual sex whatever i don’t expect kinky shit from a hookup but a relationship won’t last long if she isn’t at least a bit kinky

[Stepfubk4]

Yeah, have to agree with that. Completely vanilla does not work for me. I've had partners that were pretty much completely vanilla and it was pretty short lived. My guys have be into at least some kind of kink or fetish.

[Br****]

Not necessarily, as long as we are compatible in some ways kink wise. But then again my partner and I are poly so we don’t have a problem with each other finding other play partners

[Ba****]

For me, I couldn't be in a relationship with a vanilla person again. I couldn't be who I am, I couldn't do what I enjoy. He would have to have similar kinks that I do. I couldn't be with someone that share the main ones that I enjoy. Some can be different, of course. Our interests just have to be somewhat similar.

[Deleted Member]

My lifelong partner is so vanilla but she lets me explore and play to fulfill my kinks as long as I'm safe. But open and adult about it and everyone's happy.

[ey****]

I think if we had a kink-o-meter : finding someone at the exact level as you for the exact kinks is grossly unlikely

there's always gonna be some give and take

[Nocturne]

Personally, while I wouldn't specifically seek out relationships and sort them by kinkiness, I won't be very interested if there's no kink. Generally, the way that people have become interested in me, has been through developing the kind of friendship dynamic that can develop into a D/s dynamic. Many of the people I talk to in person are kinky, so the times when I did turn people down on the basis of kink it was due to them telling me that despite me being a Dom and unwilling to submit, that they could convince me otherwise. 

On the other hand, though most of the people I've engaged with have been kinky, there have been times where some of the kinks that are important to me have been unavailable, given no one that I'm with in the polycule at the time would be into a particular kink that I might miss. That's okay though, and while I would like to eventually see whether I can have another person that I can engage in that kink with, right now the focus is on developing the relatively new relationship that I'm in and valuing what I have. We've spoken about the potential of me having another partner at some point in the future and agreed that we want to focus on each other before I'd consider that further, but that we are comfortable with polyamory.

[Sc****]

I let my partner know about my kinks that I knew she wasn't into but now that I have because she has an open mind our sex has improved quite a bit since then