Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I was pondering obedience and subs who rarely, if ever, make errors. Do most Doms/Dommes find that to be a sense of joy and pride...or in this new age, is a well behaved and obedient sub considered boring? I'm not referring to one who lacks personality - rather, of their lack of ever needing to be corrected. Curious as to what the D-types think. As an s-type, I would think they would be proud they did so well in their training. 🤔
Ha**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 You'd be absolutely correct. Training is the most satisfying part and when they finally get it all right its like you achieved the perfect submissive.
Ma**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I don’t think “too submissive” is a thing. At least not in my perspective. Because I view a submissives obedience being a reflecting of her/his Dom/me. So I become so so proud when the submissiveness reaches a stage of where they go in to subspace, purely based on the psychological aspect and having not had physical touch yet. But with that comes a sense of responsibility that the submissive doesn’t lose herself in that pure blind obedience either and you allow her to get reminded that she’s also a person still. Depending of course if you’re not going down the M/s route.
Mi**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 As a gentle Dom, I definitely would be very proud of my sub being that obedient. They would get a lot of rewards! And being rewarded will rein*** the positive behavior. That is always my goal.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 Not to my knoweledge. The more submissive the better.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 No. They cannot be too submissive. First of all because there is ALWAYS room for improvement. And also because being "too" submissive is an error in itself as it implies that the Dom is not satisfied.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 The first thought that came to mind reading your question was the dynamic that's called 'taken in hand'. That is one where the woman or the sub relinquishes all control and literally thought for. That would not work for me as I don't want to think for you. I'm sure it's a question that could be debated in circles. It's relative to those involved. My experience has been all my subs have been very successful and actuated women in their daily lives. They chose to submit to a specific man and were able to communicate their thoughts, desires, ***s, etc. One of the issues I've seen today is we have a plethora of Beta males wanting to play a Dom. You either are or you aren't. Unfortunately most of the innate qualities that society is currently trying to null and void do exist in this lifestyle. And when 'Dom's' lack balls and a backbone and has to post questions on a public forum on how to get advice to get control back...Just please be careful. But you are asking very good questions
On**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Yes. As a foundation based dom i work to correct all my subs shortcomings.
AProperDom Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Hi Serenity, I don't think that Subs can be too submissive. You would still have to train the person as to how you expect things to be done. I have been told that I'm stricter than previous Doms so there is always work to do. I like a cheeky personality in a sub, but I find Brats too annoying.
Bart48 Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I guess this is personal. For some subs punishment is a reward if they are into severe masochism. Making it that no punishment is a sort of punishment. For others the threat of the whip is enough…
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 I prefer the more intense side of the spectrum. I prefer the total power exchange. I love
GreyHog Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 When I'm training, and my sub keeps easily meeting my expectations, I will keep adding steps or levels of difficulty to continue to test them. The escalation is slow but challenging, keeping both of us engaged. It can create a sense of accomplishment while also providing chances for punishments.
Shilo66 Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 (edited) In short, no is the answer to does it get boring for Doms... well, for me anyway. There's still lots of things you can do to keep your Subs on their toes and to keep the spice in the relationship. For example, regularly scheduled maintenance spankings - these are actually a practical necessity. They help to keep your Sub's mind and body conditioned for impact play and, also help to increase their tolerances for when you want to use more severe implements - obviously all within a CNC agreement first. It's also fun to revisit and practice old training rituals and drills with them. Afterall practise makes perfect. For example, anyone here who has ever been in the military, will know that one of the things they love to do, is exactly this, revisiting old training and drills so that skills and how to do certain tasks are never forgotten. There's loads more stuff I can mention, but these will suffice for now. Edited July 9, 2023 by Shilo66
Ge**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 I don't really have a brat dynamic with my sub. We are easygoing people. When we start playing, the kink unfolds naturally. I call it a gentleman/sweetheart dynamic, vs. a bratting dynamic. There are really good reasons for people to want a brat dynamic, so I am certainly not knocking it. I was coming out of a 20-year marriage with a covert narcissist when I met my sub, so I was kind of done with a brat dynamic at that point.
ey**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 a lot comes down to the context of the relationship the whole "I will train you to be the perfect sub; and will punish you for every slip up" is a totally valid dynamic but one that doesn't work for everyone. The aim in that dynamic is a often a perfect well trained sub. Though this comes with it's own problems, sometimes. For some Dominants - whoop - they now have their perfect sub of their dreams. But, I've seen many who've found the problem they have is their Dominant gets bored, and so then seeks out another sub to "train" But that still comes down to the Dominant. I guess a question when entering that type of dynamic is to ask the question of "so then what? if I give you x of my life becoming your perfect sub, then what happens?" and some would be content, some not. But also, the playing up to get punished can also get very tedious and tiresome to some Dominants, especially outside of a brat dynamic. So, generally - I think - a lot is about just playing your relationship naturally the way you enjoy it - but managing each others expectations. But that also, while the whole training/correction is a dynamic enjoyed by many - don't let someone get carried away over unnecessary corrections.
Fl**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 If you’re teaching your sub or challenging your sub, your sub will make mistakes, as a part of the learning process, our subs must grow to be better people, I take no pride in punishing myself, it doesn’t sexually turn me on, it’s just discipline, I’ve never seen a sub like what you’re explaining about. It’s a whole new lifestyle to learn.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 1 hour ago, BullCity1 said: The first thought that came to mind reading your question was the dynamic that's called 'taken in hand'. That is one where the woman or the sub relinquishes all control and literally thought for. That would not work for me as I don't want to think for you. I'm sure it's a question that could be debated in circles. It's relative to those involved. My experience has been all my subs have been very successful and actuated women in their daily lives. They chose to submit to a specific man and were able to communicate their thoughts, desires, ***s, etc. One of the issues I've seen today is we have a plethora of Beta males wanting to play a Dom. You either are or you aren't. Unfortunately most of the innate qualities that society is currently trying to null and void do exist in this lifestyle. And when 'Dom's' lack balls and a backbone and has to post questions on a public forum on how to get advice to get control back...Just please be careful. But you are asking very good questions Word to the “we have a plethora of betas…” 😂. From what I have gathered in my correspondences, this is a huge problem. Mostly bc they are giving real Doms a bad rep and setting up incorrect perceptions about what it’s all about. Wankers. . To answer the original thread question, the only issue with being too submissive is when subs stop providing feedback to the Dom when it’s needed. A breakdown in the communication loop might create problems.
Je**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 As a bitch who is devoted to goddess worship I aspire to be perfect. And even when I am a perfect bitch I still require my goddess to train me. What I reject is the old concept of discipline when I am bad and reward when I am good. My goddess should have the freedom to do what she wishes to me without those ridiculous constraints. Some of the best ass beatings I ever received from my goddess had nothing to do with discipline but rather her desire to burn off extra energy and wanting to see my ass turn purple, the color my ass turns after bright red.
ha**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 A well trained sub who makes little to no errors that’s a sign of pride and joy nothing boring about a sub that does exactly what they’re told when they are told
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 3 hours ago, OneForMyBaby said: Yes. As a foundation based dom i work to correct all my subs shortcomings. You misunderstood the query. Point was when there are no shortcomings.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 2 hours ago, Bart48 said: I guess this is personal. For some subs punishment is a reward if they are into severe masochism. Making it that no punishment is a sort of punishment. For others the threat of the whip is enough… A submissive wants to submit and does not want to be punished. Punishment and play are not the same thing and masochists can get their needs met in other ways. Punishment is not for fun or reward.
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