Lucalus Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 I’m not suggesting you recreate the events of a parents traumatic death. Seems like the response was a willfully extreme misinterpretation of my statement used to fly in with some holier than thou advice (Classic Dom move, I should have seen it coming). Gaslighting sees a lot of mileage. Would using a moth during sex make your partner feel delusional when they are in fact quite sane? Was I just gaslit with being accused of condoning gaslighting? The questions are manifold. Anyways I would like to wrap this up by explicitly stating I don’t condone the use of moths that gaslight certain individuals. I now realize it can be extremely dangerous, from a mental health perspective.
DeviantInside Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 21 minutes ago, Lucalus said: There is a traumatic event associated with moths? Anything can be a traumatic event. Seriously absolutely anything. Phobias exist for pretty much anything you can imagine. And all are equally valid. They occur from an overload of the stress bucket in the brain where the amygdala and hippocampus attribute overload to a specific thing. This can be from personal or witnessed trauma… and the brain can fixate on a specific thing not even logically associated with the event. This can come from childhood or any other time. We may not even recognise the event. Stress and overload isn’t even a one off event, it can be a build up of thing and the brain latches on to a single thing to attribute it to. The primitive brain isn’t logical or rational. This only highlights my point. If you don’t understand the potential damage steer clear of what you don’t understand. If you do understand you know you don’t want to deepen or worsen the effects.
DeviantInside Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 “Seems like the response was a willfully extreme misinterpretation of my statement used to fly in with some holier than thou advice (Classic Dom move, I should have seen it coming).” I have no idea who you were referring to here. I am trained in mental health and therapy. It’s what I do for a living. But don’t take my word for things. Take time to read, learn and understand things for yourself.
Lucalus Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 I thinks we might be crossed about my more phobia, which probably triggered a professional response. It might have been more accurate to use the word ***, but phobia implies a person specific ***. I’m sure you have some clinical definition in mind that looks something like: an intense *** of something that causes a deleterious effect on that persons life. I used the word “phobia” as a novice, to imply that the answer to the question of: what to do to cause discomfort when physical discomfort is off the table, would have to be tailored to the individual. You may be completely right in your response to the clinical definition. I’m sure your training allows you to talk circles around me when it comes to psychotherapy, if that’s what you do for a living. I would say from a novices understanding of the topic, that traumatic events brought up in safe spaces that involve pleasure can help to soften the severity, I thought that was the underpinning of all modern physic therapy. Now, wether the person who made the post is capable or qualified to provide that situation is another story. I don’t think you are wrong in pointing out that there is risk, but much of the kink world is risky, at least relative to traditional sex. I won’t back down on the holier than thou bit of the statement, on that I’m sure. But hey, you work in the field, so admiringly, have read more of the good books. My guess would be that the proselytizing isn’t only contained in what you went to school for, but I don’t know a smidge about yah!
DeviantInside Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 This is now way off OP’s topic. So not the place. If you (or anyone else) are genuinely interested by all means DM me. I am not the world expert but would like to think I have some idea what I am talking about (through good books, training, professional experience etc.). I biasedly wouldn’t like to think of myself as holier than anyone. But that’s not for me to judge. If I see potential pitfalls that I am aware of I will always point them out. Not out of desire to be seen as any authority or in any way superior. Only out of want to reduce or at the least make aware of potential risks (as you say there are always risks but we should at least be aware of what they are and what we are willing to accept, both as sub and Dom). Also as I said before I don’t expect nor would want anyone to take my say so for anything. Everyone is responsible for their own learning and understanding so should always verify things for themselves.
MasterDarcy1979 Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 Sadism isn't just about impact, etc. Of course, that's a big part of it, but you can get just as much of a sadistic *** rush by ordering and doling out commands. Refrain from yelling, though. The first rule being a Dominant is the moment you yell, that's the moment that you've lost control. A Dom/me should always be in control. So yeah, train your sub in the art of taking orders, etc. Treat them as a servant, etc. Pet play or furniture play (where you use them as a footstool, etc) are also good ones.
Chloebear Posted July 12, 2023 Posted July 12, 2023 21 hours ago, DeviantInside said: Anything can be a traumatic event. Seriously absolutely anything. Phobias exist for pretty much anything you can imagine. And all are equally valid. They occur from an overload of the stress bucket in the brain where the amygdala and hippocampus attribute overload to a specific thing. This can be from personal or witnessed trauma… and the brain can fixate on a specific thing not even logically associated with the event. This can come from childhood or any other time. We may not even recognise the event. Stress and overload isn’t even a one off event, it can be a build up of thing and the brain latches on to a single thing to attribute it to. The primitive brain isn’t logical or rational. This only highlights my point. If you don’t understand the potential damage steer clear of what you don’t understand. If you do understand you know you don’t want to deepen or worsen the effects. Think of Batman, for example.
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