Knife play questions?

[ch****]

So I’m really into knife play, me and my dominant used to do it and all of a sudden it just stopped. Very recently I’ve been having an intense need for it. Is there a way to do it for yourself without someone automatically assuming you’re doing it for self harm I’m only asking because I honestly wouldn’t know and I’ve been having trying to find a way to help myself without my dominant getting involved especially because she is the one that put a stop to it and she doesn’t want to restart knife play but it’s something I feel I need

[Rena-5651]

🤔🤔🤔is there a reason you feel that you need the thrill of it again? You could used a simi sharp plastic knife and let her do it so its not actually gonna draw *** unless that's the point you want it to. Have you communicated that you needed it?? Or is this more of a want? I'm sorry to ask but I'm curious is it more of a need or a want to continue?. I definitely recommend talking with her about it and even get more details on why she stopped the play so adruptly. Tc Rena💜

[ch****]

I think i know why I have the need so bad I’m still currently awake but I’m not 100% sure
But it’s a need. Yes I’ve tried talking to her about it and I have explained. we’ve tried blunt knives and it does nothing for me. She said she just wasn’t comfortable with it anymore and she left it at that I’ve asked a few times. But tonight’s the worse the need has been in a while and she’s asleep.

[Rena-5651]

🤔🤔🤔if I may ask is she on this app? I can possibly think of maybe having you blindfolded and using an object that's like a knife but isn't actually one. I'm not acting sure on how to give advice on this one🤔🤔

[ch****]

She’s not on the app unfortunately nor does she want to be. I’ll see if that’s something she’d be willing to do but every time I bring it up she kinda shuts down I’ve tried coming up with other options. That’s one I haven’t tried yet

[Rena-5651]

She shuts down? 🤔Is there other things in the dynamic that's she shuts down? And also is she possibly in Dom drop?

[Rena-5651]

And good luck💜I wish you the best of it

[ch****]

Normally I’d think it was her dropping but as soon as the conversation is over she’s fine and acting normal again. I’ve seen her drop and helped her through them and normally she’s physically exhausted and sleeps when it’s anything remotely related to knife play she just stops talking about it. I haven’t noticed her shutting down about other things but we also haven’t had a session in a while and we haven’t talked about anything BDSM related

[GreyHog]

Knife play (from a sadist pov) is an activity that requires a lot of trust and a lot of caution. It can easily get out of hand very quickly. Your domme may be "afraid" of hurting you permanently. Also, she may not trust her skills, or want to put you through the recovery. Her unwillingness to talk about it, assuming your relationship is open and honest, tells me there is something else not being said. Either she has severe reservations or just doesn't think you will recover positively. I have done knife play with several partners, with a wide spectrum of tolerance. Some want scratches and small cuts, and one loved testing how far she could take one of my swords deep inside her holes. If you have any questions about this, feel free to chat with me. And good luck with your connection crisis.

[ch****]

She’s the one that originally got me into knife play she’s been doing it for over 12 years I’m pretty sure (I suck with time lines). I used to self harm so that may have a hand but she’d also known that before we started a relationship and it wasn’t a problem before. I’m honestly wanting to find a way for us to both get what we need if knife play isn’t that for her anymore then ok but I miss everything about knife play. And I’d be willing to private message if you are

[Li****]

Try using a vintage military bayonet. They often (but not always, so be aware) have blunt edges and are only sharp at the point. So you can run the edge of the blade over your body relatively risk free, but still feel the cold metal against your skin. Might be a slightly safer way to do it to yourself?

[ch****]

I may try that if I can get my hands on one. I’ve got a blunt sword that’s only sharp at the point but it’s too big to use for myself. I used to have a bunch of knives but they got taken

[Li****]

Try ebay, usually quite a few on there. Not usually expensive unless you go for a rareone. Just be aware of the edge sharpness.

[ch****]

My worry is because my dominant doesn’t want to do knife play and normally if you do it for yourself it’s shown as self harm

[Th****]

It sounds like maybe your communication issues might need attention before addressing anything else. 

[Deleted Member]

Did you not gift your needs to your Dominant .. that includes your need for knife play.. Maybe she sees your fascination with it detrimental to you .. Trust her, trust her her judgement on this

[ch****]

I do we talked about it and we are trying to figure something out to help