Length of time from initial massage until you message back?

[Deleted Member]

I'm just curious as it seems to be different for each app. How long from when you read the initial message that's sent to you sending a reply?

What type of message do you get that typically makes you want to message over ignoring it?

Do you favor aggressive message introductions or more conventional?

For me, it seems to be more aggressive messages that work more on this app versus others. I seem to have to send things I wouldn't dare say initially on other apps. When I send more conventional messages, they generally are always ignored.

Generally, I get a message back rather quickly after they are online or not at all as well. Very few times, it has taken a couple of days to get an initial reply.

I usually will wait about a week from when I sent it initially and check if they've logged on. If they have I send a not interested and hide auto reply. Otherwise, I'll let it sit if they haven't logged on yet.

[Deleted Member]

Ngl I reply when I can even after the message was just sent I also use to do message introductions when dming people for the first time but it mostly got me nowhere and called weird for doing so. And as far as how long I wait for said person to reply depends on if they’ve explained they’d be not active and busy. I also know and understand the notifications on here are terrible but I’ll usually wait a week and a half before sending them a not interested message.

[Deleted Member]

Interesting topic. I tend to write more vanilla introductions and keep them short. I’m impatient and lose interest after a few days of waiting. I’ve learned from other dating sites that women get inundated with new messages. So if there’s not an initial interest, it’s likely that I’ve been filtered out with all the others.

It’s been my experience that if a woman is interested she’ll reply rather quickly. But it’s all so been my experience that interest wanes rapidly and if we can’t come to some agreement about meeting for coffee or doing some activity together, conversations quickly drop off and die.

[un****]

i’ve been messaged first on occasion and it really depends on how the profile is set up i don’t mind no profile picture but if your bio doesn’t spark my interest i won’t reply because i like to know who i’m talking to at least personality wise someone can always show what they look like at a later date however preferably within a few days to a week at max

[Co****]

Hi......what do you mean by ' aggressive message introductions '? 

I don't respond to Sexual demands or requests at all.

Nor just hello how are you.

Time is precious for all of us, for me its the interesting first message.

Or humerous, and someone who is intelligent and making an effort to engage me.

Then I ll respond reasonably quickly............

I guess its just boils down to who does doesn't appeal.

Attraction and all that x

[Deleted Member]

I respond to respectful and interesting messages. If I don’t respond right away I’m not responding.

[th****]

This app : rare to never 🤣🤣

[Deleted Member]

I personally like something that actually inspires engagement (usually questions) hey and hello are a bit boring but aren’t annoying like leading with what you want me to do to you or vice versa. A compliment is 50/50 and will usually depend on the profile for me.

[Deleted Member]

My biggest continuing issue is when their bios says networking, and friends but the I dm them but their not even interested in me like wtf

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, CosmicAngel said:

Hi......what do you mean by ' aggressive message introductions '? 

I don't respond to Sexual demands or requests at all.

Nor just hello how are you.

Time is precious for all of us, for me its the interesting first message.

Or humerous, and someone who is intelligent and making an effort to engage me.

Then I ll respond reasonably quickly............

I guess its just boils down to who does doesn't appeal.

Attraction and all that x

Don't send d**k pics, lol.

Usually if the profile states something specific or a graphic request then I'll play off of it.

Without going into too many details I've had good experience with going into graphic details on what I'd want to do to/with them. How I'd do it and other things...

As I said, if I send a "Hi, how are you?" or similar it is ignored. It's the complete opposite of my experience on most of apps.

You said time is precious so do you state in your profile that you won't respond to simple introductions? I haven't checked it so I'm not certain. If it didn't say anything I wouldn't say it's fair to ignore someone because their introduction doesn't live up to a standard you never shared.

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, MN_Travel4Fun said:

Don't send dick pics, lol.

Usually if the profile states something specific or a graphic request then I'll play off of it.

Without going into too many details I've had good experience with going into graphic details on what I'd want to do to/with them. How I'd do it and other things...

As I said, if I send a "Hi, how are you?" or similar it is ignored. It's the complete opposite of my experience on most of apps.

You said time is precious so do you state in your profile that you won't respond to simple introductions? I haven't checked it so I'm not certain. If it didn't say anything I wouldn't say it's fair to ignore someone because their introduction doesn't live up to a standard you never shared.

Standard that wasn't disclosed. You very well could be missing out on some amazing sex or whatever it is you're looking for.

[Th****]

Most of my messages are "hiya, hello, or hey how are you doing? 👋" I'm not very good at social interaction so I'm pretty dry at first. Once I've chatted a bit I tend to open up more, but getting that reply is the hard part for me personally. I'm also in the same boat of "how do I not cross any boundaries but also open the dialogue with something interesting? Do I flirt? One liner? Comment on something they had worn or shown in a picture?" This app to me does a good job with making sure you can't spam someone with messages, but you can't do a follow up either.

[Deleted Member]

46 minutes ago, undeaddom said:

i’ve been messaged first on occasion and it really depends on how the profile is set up i don’t mind no profile picture but if your bio doesn’t spark my interest i won’t reply because i like to know who i’m talking to at least personality wise someone can always show what they look like at a later date however preferably within a few days to a week at max

Thanks for the comment. Is there a specific reason you don't even send the not interested auto reply?

In genuinely curious as this app seems to be the only one that does have that. It's a good feature because it let's them know you're not interested and shuts the conversation down from continuing.

On the other hand, when you message someone do you typically get a response or ignored?

Again, thank you for your reply.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, SFswitch said:

Interesting topic. I tend to write more vanilla introductions and keep them short. I’m impatient and lose interest after a few days of waiting. I’ve learned from other dating sites that women get inundated with new messages. So if there’s not an initial interest, it’s likely that I’ve been filtered out with all the others.

It’s been my experience that if a woman is interested she’ll reply rather quickly. But it’s all so been my experience that interest wanes rapidly and if we can’t come to some agreement about meeting for coffee or doing some activity together, conversations quickly drop off and die.

Thanks for the response. I agree on the quick fade. I'm all for chatting and getting to know people but if they only seem to want attention through this or another app then I really don't have any interest in chatting long term.

I'm chat if there's discussing of meeting but if not then I'll entertain them for a bit but will usually end it as it seems to be mostly one sided. So they want the attention and affection yet have no interest in reciprocating nor meeting.

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for your reply. This app definitely has its quirks. I've noticed as well regarding the introductions.

[Fa****]

If I’m interested I reply quickly with more than one word or something that engages flow of conversation.

My one word or thank you or that’s kind responses are for when I’m not interested but someone has been nice in their opening message.

What grabs my attention however, is a well thought out message that tells me a little about the person, isn’t derogatory and doesn’t make assumptions of me.

[Mr****]

Idk… I’ve messaged a bunch of people on here and gotten zero response. There’s also only 3 people within 200km of me on this app which kind of sucks, and those three people are either not my type or have been dormant for 6+ months or both.

[Deleted Member]

If they're close enough, I reply normally right away

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, michellemagnolia said:

If they're close enough, I reply normally right away

Thanks for the reply. You brought up a good point. I guess a question that seems to be needing answered is distance. I do see that some people have filters enabled. I wonder if there's a way to get the developers to add must be within x miles from me. That would certainly keep your inbox emptier and not waste others time in messaging you if you wouldn't be interested.

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, MrT550 said:

Idk… I’ve messaged a bunch of people on here and gotten zero response. There’s also only 3 people within 200km of me on this app which kind of sucks, and those three people are either not my type or have been dormant for 6+ months or both.

Thank you for responding. Another woman brought up the point that she only messages people within a certain distance of her. I wonder if you are running head first into the other side of that with people you message?

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Theunbothered said:

Most of my messages are "hiya, hello, or hey how are you doing? 👋" I'm not very good at social interaction so I'm pretty dry at first. Once I've chatted a bit I tend to open up more, but getting that reply is the hard part for me personally. I'm also in the same boat of "how do I not cross any boundaries but also open the dialogue with something interesting? Do I flirt? One liner? Comment on something they had worn or shown in a picture?" This app to me does a good job with making sure you can't spam someone with messages, but you can't do a follow up either.

I agree on the messaging restrictions. It seems to be that once they've read the message it locks the conversation until they reply. I've been able to message a few times on some before it locked.

I could be completely wrong though on that assumption.

[un****]

1 hour ago, MN_Travel4Fun said:

Thanks for the comment. Is there a specific reason you don't even send the not interested auto reply?

In genuinely curious as this app seems to be the only one that does have that. It's a good feature because it let's them know you're not interested and shuts the conversation down from continuing.

On the other hand, when you message someone do you typically get a response or ignored?

Again, thank you for your reply.

Quite honestly its because i regularly forget the feature even exists and as for stats if i had to guess its under 40% of the time i get a response i’m not particularly great at starting a conversation i can keep one going but starting one is difficult for me

[bu****]

I don't respond to boring messages or people way to far away from me. 

I have sent messages. It usually because I like something on their bio and I will say so. 

I have met with 6 people off this app in real life in the past 4 months I've been on it. Some encounters better than others. I make it clear in my profile I'm not interested in online or long distance relationships. So if I'm interested in meeting someone irl, I will tell them. If they beat around the bush or make excuses, I walk. I don't want pen pals. 

[Deleted Member]

12 minutes ago, buckley887 said:

I don't respond to boring messages or people way to far away from me. 

I have sent messages. It usually because I like something on their bio and I will say so. 

I have met with 6 people off this app in real life in the past 4 months I've been on it. Some encounters better than others. I make it clear in my profile I'm not interested in online or long distance relationships. So if I'm interested in meeting someone irl, I will tell them. If they beat around the bush or make excuses, I walk. I don't want pen pals. 

It doesn’t hurt anyone to be social with people ur not romantically interested in or not near you that’s the whole point of the app and social media in general lol

[Mr****]

41 minutes ago, MN_Travel4Fun said:

Thank you for responding. Another woman brought up the point that she only messages people within a certain distance of her. I wonder if you are running head first into the other side of that with people you message?

Quite possibly. It’s a little frustrating though, as I’m not comfortable enough with attending hosted events (2.5hrs away) but I am actively looking for a partner that checks my boxes as well.