Shilo66 Posted March 7 Posted March 7 2 minutes ago, maryioni said: Don't listen to those narrow minded and judgemental people who have issues with others being overweight. You're beautiful and you're doing great. You try your best and that's all that matter. Absolutely... very well said.
me**** Posted March 7 Author Posted March 7 So this thread was mostly to see what people’s options were on if they were in a relationship (new or old) would that partner help (regardless of what) if they couldn’t do something. Now I know people who say “they can’t do it” but in reality they just lazy and don’t want to do it. That’s not ok!!! I’ve been single for 3 years now and if I end up ever getting into a relationship (and I haven’t gotten down to the weight I need to be so I can do this on my own), I’m wondering how I will even approach this topic with that partner unless I find someone to do this for me and then I end up being with them. I NEVER want to be a burden to someone ever! I love doing things all by myself or for myself without anyone’s help becuase I don’t want to be indebted to them becuase they did this for me if that makes sense. Thank you guys for all your input and I greatly appreciate all yalls time and effort! I hope yall have an awesome upcoming weekend!
me**** Posted March 7 Author Posted March 7 10 minutes ago, maryioni said: Don't listen to those narrow minded and judgemental people who have issues with others being overweight. You're beautiful and you're doing great. You try your best and that's all that matter. Thank you for your kind words! You are phenomenal!
GL**** Posted March 7 Posted March 7 There really isn’t enough information to determine a truly helpful answer. I can only give my perspective of how I would handle things in similar situations. Some of the situation seems to talk about weight so I will start there. My mom went up and down 100-150 pounds in weight 10 times over her lifetime. A few of the times I helped her. The biggest thing when you love someone is to not enable them to keep their bad habits whether it be overeating or lack of exercise. Sometimes you have to give a little tough love. Keyword in that is love. You can’t be hard on someone without showing them love too. Food is an addiction just like *** or any other addiction. Not just anyone can help someone with an addiction. Don’t take on someone with an addiction, disease or disability unless you are prepared yourself mentally and physically to accept the challenge. It takes you educating yourself and probably assisting help of others who love them or are more knowledgeable then you to get them through it. Not every person is meant to be skinny. You just want them to be healthy enough to enjoy life. This is not for the faint at heart. Should they do it without negativity? Sometimes being the one helping can be hard asf! As the person being taken care of you have a responsibility to understand them as well and nurture them through negative moments. As far as responsibilities go in general, It should be a partnership. The goal is to be a betterment in both each other’s lives. Learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I feel it’s my responsibility as a man and dom to help motivate, nurture and hold my person accountable to reach their goals and dreams. In return the person does the same for me to the best of our abilities. I don’t want to write a novel here but I will give you an example… I dated someone quite a bit younger than me during Covid. She was doing nothing with her life other than being a sexy beach bum, living off her ex boyfriend for *** and her parents for a place to stay for her and her cats. She did have a part time job as a nanny so she wasn’t completely screwing up. When we met we talked about all kinds of different things. The woman was brilliant underneath the sometimes drugged out sexy beach bum appearance. She also did deal with being bipolar, depressed and had some unresolved trauma. Long story short. First thing I did was figure out what her goals and dreams were by providing a safe environment and atmosphere for her to be herself completely in. Next I convinced her to take her parents up on paying for her to go to therapy. She loved being a Nanny so I convinced her to enroll back into college and take a few classes geared towards that. She decided because of medication from her therapist and school, she would quit using ***. The adventures we had gave her similar feelings without ***. She in returned showed me how I should be appreciated and loved in away I didn’t realize I needed. Inspired me to add to things I do in the lifestyle. Gave me reason to travel more. We lived 300 miles apart but met up as often as we could with doing adventures that broaden both our minds. She added to who I am as a man and a dom in more ways than I can explain on here. The point is it’s got to be a give and take. Sometimes scarifies have to be made on both sides. If you aren’t bettering each other than you are probably bringing each other down. No matter the role our dynamic, it should be beneficial for both people. Dealing with some with disease, disability or addiction takes a ton of time and effort to truly help someone. If you aren’t really prepared for that, don’t lie to yourself and do it. You will only be hurting each other. I hope I was helpful to anyone reading this.
me**** Posted March 7 Author Posted March 7 9 minutes ago, SINrzDream said: There really isn’t enough information to determine a truly helpful answer. I can only give my perspective of how I would handle things in similar situations. Some of the situation seems to talk about weight so I will start there. My mom went up and down 100-150 pounds in weight 10 times over her lifetime. A few of the times I helped her. The biggest thing when you love someone is to not enable them to keep their bad habits whether it be overeating or lack of exercise. Sometimes you have to give a little tough love. Keyword in that is love. You can’t be hard on someone without showing them love too. Food is an addiction just like *** or any other addiction. Not just anyone can help someone with an addiction. Don’t take on someone with an addiction, disease or disability unless you are prepared yourself mentally and physically to accept the challenge. It takes you educating yourself and probably assisting help of others who love them or are more knowledgeable then you to get them through it. Not every person is meant to be skinny. You just want them to be healthy enough to enjoy life. This is not for the faint at heart. Should they do it without negativity? Sometimes being the one helping can be hard asf! As the person being taken care of you have a responsibility to understand them as well and nurture them through negative moments. As far as responsibilities go in general, It should be a partnership. The goal is to be a betterment in both each other’s lives. Learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I feel it’s my responsibility as a man and dom to help motivate, nurture and hold my person accountable to reach their goals and dreams. In return the person does the same for me to the best of our abilities. I don’t want to write a novel here but I will give you an example… I dated someone quite a bit younger than me during Covid. She was doing nothing with her life other than being a sexy beach bum, living off her ex boyfriend for *** and her parents for a place to stay for her and her cats. She did have a part time job as a nanny so she wasn’t completely screwing up. When we met we talked about all kinds of different things. The woman was brilliant underneath the sometimes drugged out sexy beach bum appearance. She also did deal with being bipolar, depressed and had some unresolved trauma. Long story short. First thing I did was figure out what her goals and dreams were by providing a safe environment and atmosphere for her to be herself completely in. Next I convinced her to take her parents up on paying for her to go to therapy. She loved being a Nanny so I convinced her to enroll back into college and take a few classes geared towards that. She decided because of medication from her therapist and school, she would quit using ***. The adventures we had gave her similar feelings without ***. She in returned showed me how I should be appreciated and loved in away I didn’t realize I needed. Inspired me to add to things I do in the lifestyle. Gave me reason to travel more. We lived 300 miles apart but met up as often as we could with doing adventures that broaden both our minds. She added to who I am as a man and a dom in more ways than I can explain on here. The point is it’s got to be a give and take. Sometimes scarifies have to be made on both sides. If you aren’t bettering each other than you are probably bringing each other down. No matter the role our dynamic, it should be beneficial for both people. Dealing with some with disease, disability or addiction takes a ton of time and effort to truly help someone. If you aren’t really prepared for that, don’t lie to yourself and do it. You will only be hurting each other. I hope I was helpful to anyone reading this. Perfectly said! Thank you!
la**** Posted March 8 Posted March 8 Easy too say but hard to do... I've had to care for disabled family members in the past and I didn't mind taking on the responsibility. With that being said, it can be very tiresome if I'm having to help every couple of hours for someone else. I applaud those who know it before starting a relationship and still choose to pursue that commitment.
Ki**** Posted March 8 Posted March 8 I think that they should discuss it. We all have things that we think a partner should do in our idealized version of a relationship. But we shouldn’t expect them to read our minds or necessarily feel the same way. Partners should have frank and open conversations about what their expectations are. Both should be understanding that they may not have the same ones.
Ch**** Posted March 12 Posted March 12 I refused to date my master duevto having fibromailger. Although i wanted to i said we could only ever be fwb . i refused to date anyone. Master then spent weeks learning all he coukd and asking questions. He then said his eyes were wide open and he had big shoulders an still wanted to date me. I got diagnosed with trigerminal nurolga while iv been dating master and i told him it was over as i was getting worse medically and it was not fair on him. Master got angry and said i could not pick for him what he wanted. He didnt care i was getting worse he new i was from hospital trips and things. I could not tell him what to think . he told me he didnt care he loved me and we would deal with it together. There's been times were masters had to look after me as iv been ill but you would do it for anyone you love. Master and myself have been threw so much over the last 7 years that have made us stronger . Yes wed be lost with out each other.
Br**** Posted March 12 Posted March 12 Communication is key - expecting that without discussion is just as bad as assuming they won’t without discussion. Be open and honest with what you want and either they will or they won’t.
Fa**** Posted March 19 Posted March 19 On 3/7/2024 at 6:39 PM, mermaidkat1990 said: Thank you guys for all your input. I wasn’t trying to start anything negative with anyone I just wanted a good rant. Everyone had extremely valid points. I made this post to read people’s opinions on the matter more than anything else. With the regard to the weight, I am not a small gal but the last 3 years I have been on an extremely aggressive diet and workout plan. Changed to organic, no sugar, minimal salt, minimal carbs, no fast food, no soda, very minimal alcohol (4 times a year), no red meat and so much more. I work out 2 hours daily 7 days a week. I walk 3-9 miles a day every day and I workout at home with weights and such. But in 3 years I’ve only been able to drop 100 pounds. Every single day I push myself to be a healthier, thinner happier person. I joined this community to find someone who would shave me. I had someone for 3 years do it once a month because I physically can’t do it. I have tried and becuase I have loose skin and still not small, I have cut myself, gotten cysts and had to get them lanced when I tried doing it myself and other issues. I’m also the type of woman who NEVER asks for anything unless I physically just cant do it. And even then asking for help it makes me feel less than and not good enough because I can’t do this basic thing. I can empathise with your feelings regarding this but (and I don’t mean this flippantly) could you not see a professional to get this done? Waxing, lasering or any other form of hair removal is something that is offered in lots and lots of places. Then you’re not “asking for help” but you’re paying for a service. With regards to previous comments whether people should, could, would help a partner there is no right or wrong answer per se and until one has been in the situation of caring for a loved one it is a huge unknown as to how you will act or react.
me**** Posted March 19 Author Posted March 19 1 hour ago, FatefulDestiny said: Apologies, I appear to have posted the same thing multiple times. Tech issue 🤦🏼♀️ So prices are to high I can’t afford getting waxed every 5-6 weeks it’s $70 each time
Deleted Member Posted March 19 Posted March 19 A kink partner should always be empathatic and support
Fa**** Posted March 19 Posted March 19 35 minutes ago, mermaidkat1990 said: So prices are to high I can’t afford getting waxed every 5-6 weeks it’s $70 each time Ouch, that is a lot 😢
Deleted Member Posted March 19 Posted March 19 3 minutes ago, FatefulDestiny said: Ouch, that is a lot 😢 That is a lot
me**** Posted March 19 Author Posted March 19 4 hours ago, FatefulDestiny said: Ouch, that is a lot 😢 Yeah!! I have to use “special wax” because my skin is so sensitive and the only place that offers it is 45-55 min away and $70 before tip
Fa**** Posted March 19 Posted March 19 1 hour ago, mermaidkat1990 said: Yeah!! I have to use “special wax” because my skin is so sensitive and the only place that offers it is 45-55 min away and $70 before tip Is there such a thing as “special wax”? Not something I’ve ever heard of. Maybe things are different in US
me**** Posted March 19 Author Posted March 19 10 minutes ago, FatefulDestiny said: Is there such a thing as “special wax”? Not something I’ve ever heard of. Maybe things are different in US Yes it has to be a soy based wax with no chemicals added into it. The USA uses a lottt of chemicals
ba**** Posted March 24 Posted March 24 Tbh I feel like if u are my partner my problems are urs and urs are mine it should be =and if it’s not then they aren’t for u
BadJokesNRopes Posted March 27 Posted March 27 I do think it is a good thing to do, caring for your partner in some way. I think it also depends when the disability occured. If it happened prior to the relationship and they knew about it going in then yes to some extent i feel like they should help. However if it happened during the relationship then it is important to remember that they dont owe you that care and they might not have signed up for this. If the disability is too much for them to handle they do have the right to say that and end things. This is coming from a guy who had to learn how to walk again in my early 20s. It does cause strain and that can be too much for some.
me**** Posted March 27 Author Posted March 27 1 hour ago, BadJokesNRopes said: I do think it is a good thing to do, caring for your partner in some way. I think it also depends when the disability occured. If it happened prior to the relationship and they knew about it going in then yes to some extent i feel like they should help. However if it happened during the relationship then it is important to remember that they dont owe you that care and they might not have signed up for this. If the disability is too much for them to handle they do have the right to say that and end things. This is coming from a guy who had to learn how to walk again in my early 20s. It does cause strain and that can be too much for some. You are completely right! I agree entirely to you about this!
Deleted Member Posted March 27 Posted March 27 On 3/7/2024 at 6:39 PM, mermaidkat1990 said: Thank you guys for all your input. I wasn’t trying to start anything negative with anyone I just wanted a good rant. Everyone had extremely valid points. I made this post to read people’s opinions on the matter more than anything else. With the regard to the weight, I am not a small gal but the last 3 years I have been on an extremely aggressive diet and workout plan. Changed to organic, no sugar, minimal salt, minimal carbs, no fast food, no soda, very minimal alcohol (4 times a year), no red meat and so much more. I work out 2 hours daily 7 days a week. I walk 3-9 miles a day every day and I workout at home with weights and such. But in 3 years I’ve only been able to drop 100 pounds. Every single day I push myself to be a healthier, thinner happier person. I joined this community to find someone who would shave me. I had someone for 3 years do it once a month because I physically can’t do it. I have tried and becuase I have loose skin and still not small, I have cut myself, gotten cysts and had to get them lanced when I tried doing it myself and other issues. I’m also the type of woman who NEVER asks for anything unless I physically just cant do it. And even then asking for help it makes me feel less than and not good enough because I can’t do this basic thing. Brilliant discussion thank you
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