Finding my bdsm community

[ha****]

I've been involved in the bdsm world for over a year now but since I split up with my partner I'm having a super hard time finding people to go to events with and munch and experience with and whatnot. I'm a switch and super friendly I just don't really know how to start that conversation. Anyo else dealing with something like that and have advice to give?

[ge****]

Why do you need a partner to go to munches with? Or for that matter events etc? Most munches are welcoming and friendly places and a good way to get to know people in your area in a social setting.
.
I went to my local Munch on my own back in October and now have a social circle of kink friends that I go to clubs and events with.

[ey****]

you don't find people to go to a munch with

you go to a munch to find people 

[Deleted Member]

I'm not sure, but I think the question isn't really how to find someone to go to events, but how to start the bdsm talk with someone ? As in you don't really just abruptly go so how do you like to be disciplined? 😅

[ey****]

1 hour ago, Naerhys said:

I'm not sure, but I think the question isn't really how to find someone to go to events, but how to start the bdsm talk with someone ? As in you don't really just abruptly go so how do you like to be disciplined? 😅

Is this BDSM talk with anyone - or someone at an event?

cos if it's with someone at an event, this is one of the beautiful things, if you're talking with someone and having a normal conversation - it's not wild to ask about their dynamic and preferences 

[De****]

Just be open. And talk. The right one will come alone

[Ja****]

I see what you’re saying with that. I think it can make anyone feel a little awkward or nervous going anywhere, whether kink or not, when they don’t know anybody. One thing you might want to keep in mind though is that you at least know of one interest you have in common with the other people there. You could even try making a joke about how you never know how to start talking to people. You could even try chatting down some random conversation starters before you go or doing some visualization.

[st****]

Why not. straight forward is the way men go. so just ask them what their into.

[Re****]

A lot of people that go have anxiety. Just sit at the bar and people will talk to you.

[Da****]

I'll be blunt. It's not difficult to find people in the Lifestyle. I've found more people through social media than ever attending a munch or going to a dungeon. You probably even have friends at this very moment who are either curious or have experimented with D/s or BDSM, that you don't Even realize. The truth is, the easiest way to find out is by creating a post on social media that is relatively benign to any (vanilla) person that reads it, while at the same time, creates an opportunity for like minded people to reach out to you and say hi. I'll even give you a "for instance."...I recently joined a group on that book that deals with faces that specifically focuses on fantasy art and came across an artist that draws shibari incredibly well, to which I enquired about a very specific knot they had drawn with incredible detail. We struck up a conversation and although they live hundreds of miles away, I found out we had the same teacher, and I was able to reconnect and through him, found out a few names to connect with in my local scene.

[mi****]

I use Discord but that's mostly for online though probably you will find people to meet as well. There are a lot of BDSM / hookup communities out there, try searching on Disboard

[me****]

Wednesday at 06:07 AM, gemini_man said:

Why do you need a partner to go to munches with? Or for that matter events etc? Most munches are welcoming and friendly places and a good way to get to know people in your area in a social setting.
.
I went to my local Munch on my own back in October and now have a social circle of kink friends that I go to clubs and events with.

That's fantastic you were able to do that! It took me many many years to be comfortable enough to go places/do things by myself. I got tired of missing out on life and the possibilities that could come from doing the things I really did want to do. Plus I got put on a new medication and was seeing an awesome therapist that helped me get to that point. There can be a lot of varying reasons of why someone might be apprehensive about going it by their self.

[me****]

Their are some fet groups on different platforms. I joined some and have been able to engage online with people near where I live. I'm still fairly new to my area so it's helpful to me to be able to talk to others and get a sense of how things go before I adventure out.

[Ri****]

I am going through the same thing have been advised to find a munch but not sure exactly how to do that

[or****]

I have a similar question. How do I find muches?

[Deleted Member]

May 12, mekomelon said:

Their are some fet groups on different platforms. I joined some and have been able to engage online with people near where I live. I'm still fairly new to my area so it's helpful to me to be able to talk to others and get a sense of how things go before I adventure out.

Great to hear I have one main place in my area but they have a COVID vaccine requirement or COVID test results. I will keep an eye out for the next event and bring my negative results with me. Connecting offline is best for me.

[Ri****]

Hi have found a couple some details are here but there is also a website call ferlife that has details and u can search

[Deleted Member]

FETLIFE has a bunch broader community; you can search by area and by the KINK.

[Ma****]

I’m trying to find a community to join but don’t know where to find one to be a part of and grow

[Do****]

I just joined the bdsm community and am looking to find my people.