li**** Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 3 hours ago, saphy said: What misconceptions are there surrounding submissive women??? Easy!.....and something that seems to be a recurring hackle raiser (even for the most submissive of us!) We are not 'told' what to do because we are incapable in ourselves to determine what we should or should not be doing. We merely follow our D's instructions to be pleasing to Him/Her. We do NOT live or are part of an abusive relationship. We consensually agree to participating in activities that in turn will heighten our sensual desires to ultimately find pleasure in play/scenes that aren't otherwise considered 'vanilla'. We are completely in control of our situations and are respected beyond reason. We are NOT weak individuals. An established D/s dynamic or BDSM relationship is nurturing, fulfilling and satisfying toward the needs of those involved. Similar in comparison to a 'vanilla' marriage. The emotional attachments that are formed and the bond that is created between the individuals is of a much deeper state than the aforementioned. We are NOT doormats to abusive partners! These are only a few of the most prominant definitions of being submissive according to the 'outside world', which understandably (as a submissive) gets you wanting to jump on your soapbox and right the wrongs of many. Hopefully one day the eyes of the world will be opened and people won't be so closed minded and judgemental and the submissive world will be seen and recognised for the beautiful lifestyle it is. 😊 Two words perfectly put!!!!!! 😍😍
li**** Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 7 minutes ago, Jed said: Submission=strength. Submissives aren't doormat's, they deserve respect and equality, they are bestowing a gift that deserves the utmost reverence, and it infuriates me to hear the lack of respect that's given in many cases. We live in a world where information is bountiful and relevant, yet too many fail to self educate and willfully neglect their so called position for nothing other than selfish greed. I cherish what I Have, it's taken time and effort...she deserves nothing less, and the rewards are plentiful, but knowing I have her trust, respect and commitment within the boundaries we have set together means so much more. Education is key, if more and more of these topics are brought to the floor the stronger we all are. I might add that the post could have been non specific on gender, men are no doubt experiencing the same ill educated views, would be good too hear their view points too. Great topic keep them coming. This has made my heart jump and given me love heart eyes 💓😍 I've watched you and saphy grow together in your dynamic and relationship and it's been beautiful to watch. Since I came back on here two years ago nearly 🤯😱 you guys were two of the first to talk to me in the lobby and I'll always remember that. And I agree education is a must in this world of BDSM!!!
Wo**** Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 14 minutes ago, Jed said: Submission=strength. Submissives aren't doormat's, they deserve respect and equality, they are bestowing a gift that deserves the utmost reverence, and it infuriates me to hear the lack of respect that's given in many cases. We live in a world where information is bountiful and relevant, yet too many fail to self educate and willfully neglect their so called position for nothing other than selfish greed. I cherish what I Have, it's taken time and effort...she deserves nothing less, and the rewards are plentiful, but knowing I have her trust, respect and commitment within the boundaries we have set together means so much more. Education is key, if more and more of these topics are brought to the floor the stronger we all are. I might add that the post could have been non specific on gender, men are no doubt experiencing the same ill educated views, would be good too hear their view points too. Great topic keep them coming. Beautiful post.
Deleted Member Posted January 8, 2020 Author Posted January 8, 2020 3 hours ago, saphy said: An established D/s dynamic or BDSM relationship is nurturing, fulfilling and satisfying toward the needs of those involved. Similar in comparison to a 'vanilla' marriage. The emotional attachments that are formed and the bond that is created between the individuals is of a much deeper state than the aforementioned. THIS. The emotional attachments that are formed in a BDSM relationship. I think this is so important to remember.
Wo**** Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 It's about trust, honesty and communication. Pirate takes me along to a club sometimes, we do some impact play, we get watched. People ask questions... apparently someone commented that they'd not seen anyone go into subspace so fast. I am very, very emotional. Pirate isn't (by his own admission) yet he and i share something, something special. We have the things above. Trust, honesty and communication. Oh, and respect.
li**** Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 1 hour ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: It's about trust, honesty and communication. Pirate takes me along to a club sometimes, we do some impact play, we get watched. People ask questions... apparently someone commented that they'd not seen anyone go into subspace so fast. I am very, very emotional. Pirate isn't (by his own admission) yet he and i share something, something special. We have the things above. Trust, honesty and communication. Oh, and respect. Those are the main four foundations to a good D/s relationship trust, honesty (which needs to be ***ful sometimes) communication and respect to me is the Biggie I have so much respect for Liam and he does me too that it shines through when we play ect. I too am very emotional and will cry at the drop of a hat!! Liam is very understanding of my past experiences and my past abusive relationship and was and is still very patient with me as I'm sure Pirate is with you hun?
Wo**** Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 Oh my god! Patient doesn't even begin to cover it... I constantly bombard him with questions. He encourages me to tell hjm anything, any niggles i have and then spends hour after hour reassuring me, understanding how i feel and explaining everything until it finally sinks in that it's ok to feel how i do. Through him i believe in myself because he values me x
Wo**** Posted January 8, 2020 Posted January 8, 2020 And.... He shows me that i can, and should, and do, believe in myself. I am his submissive, slut, and friend. He is my Dominant, my protector, mentor and friend.
Deleted Member Posted January 8, 2020 Author Posted January 8, 2020 3 hours ago, Jed said: Submission=strength. Submissives aren't doormat's, they deserve respect and equality, they are bestowing a gift that deserves the utmost reverence, and it infuriates me to hear the lack of respect that's given in many cases. We live in a world where information is bountiful and relevant, yet too many fail to self educate and willfully neglect their so called position for nothing other than selfish greed. I cherish what I Have, it's taken time and effort...she deserves nothing less, and the rewards are plentiful, but knowing I have her trust, respect and commitment within the boundaries we have set together means so much more. Education is key, if more and more of these topics are brought to the floor the stronger we all are. I might add that the post could have been non specific on gender, men are no doubt experiencing the same ill educated views, would be good too hear their view points too. Great topic keep them coming. Thank you Jed. With regards to gender specifics, I try to be inclusive, but I can't speak very much to the experience of male subs as I've not had these discussions with them, only with female submissive friends. But I do welcome any male subs who can bring their opinions to the discussion, too.
Deleted Member Posted January 8, 2020 Author Posted January 8, 2020 I think point 3 is so true and so important. My last long term relationship really tested and explored new limits, but it was because we loved each other so much and had trust and felt comfortable that we could do the things we did. A mutual friend called us intimate perverts, we got so kinky because we were so close. It's more than just slapping.
Carnelian2 Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 8 hours ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: Oh my god! Patient doesn't even begin to cover it... I constantly bombard him with questions. He encourages me to tell hjm anything, any niggles i have and then spends hour after hour reassuring me, understanding how i feel and explaining everything until it finally sinks in that it's ok to feel how i do. Through him i believe in myself because he values me x That is beautiful
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 My post got pinned and made into a thing. I didn't know that happens. Huh.
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 9 hours ago, Knocker said: I think point 3 is so true and so important. My last long term relationship really tested and explored new limits, but it was because we loved each other so much and had trust and felt comfortable that we could do the things we did. A mutual friend called us intimate perverts, we got so kinky because we were so close. It's more than just slapping. I love that description: intimate perverts. When that trust is there, you can do so much and really push your boundaries, exciting each other and growing together. It's pretty fucking awesome.
MrSteph300 Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 On 1/7/2020 at 11:18 PM, white_rose said: Thank you. I don't think anyone can deny that porn has had a huge influence on BDSM and vanilla sex but it troubles me that it has become considered a source of knowledge. There are some great, older-style BDSM videos around, if you know where to find them. Where could you find them?
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 21 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said: Ha ha ha have you even read any of this???Ffs and here is a perfect example of the problem. Ha ha ha is he talking to me? I have no idea.
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 great post and I hope its only a tiny part of our community who are affected by the negative experiences. I think your bullet points could easily relate to the vanilla world. Men who want to become a Dom need to know women first! Boys watch porn far too early and think thats women want and behave in bed. I cant imagine how scary young girls must feel! Most of young subs I have talked to or had D/s rl with , already experienced some kinky play with bf! its kind of shock me that so young they can practice some rough act without understand it. So I could see why there are some young Dom finding fetish site and thinking its treasure island with all these women advertising for kinky sex, not reading at all their profiles, trying to communicate or understand the life of bdsm. All they see and experienced so far is some women like to be slap around. But there is also the way round when some subs think we are Dom on tap, seeking attention, sending pics to attract them, feeding their egos for few weeks then stop to chat with them to jump onto another one. Its a very complex world, with no real rules. One need to know why is coming here and learn maybe form mistake but also with all the knowledge tools on this site or from some reliable fellow kinksters.
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 8 minutes ago, white_rose said: Ha ha ha is he talking to me? I have no idea. I think it aimed at any female possible.I can see it now with such a thought out introduction.All the lasses are going to be in a frenzy to message this Casanova with a view to instant submission.How can you resist such charm
Wo**** Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 Erm... Why is it a UK dialling code when his profile says he's in the US? Anyway ladies, i may have spoilt your fun. I reported the post.
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 8 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: Erm... Why is it a UK dialling code when his profile says he's in the US? Anyway ladies, i may have spoilt your fun. I reported the post. Fake profile??You can say your from wherever and it is impossible to check but your completely right.Thats a UK phone number
Sissy4unow Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 Hey I just wanted to say what a wonderful little article that I thoroughly agree with and I applaud you chic. Thank you for sharing x
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 14 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: Just call me Philippa Marlowe 😆 You're a woman 😂
Wo**** Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 1 minute ago, Donnykinkster said: You're a woman 😂 Lol, yes hence Philippa not Philip 😆
Deleted Member Posted January 9, 2020 Author Posted January 9, 2020 15 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said: Lol, yes hence Philippa not Philip 😆 I meant women can make good detectives as I have found out to my cost in the past 😂😂
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