what to do

[Se****]

My ex-girlfriend of 3 years was only a Domme for her husband, and I was the only one who successfully earned the position of being her Dom, so I feel I may be able to weigh in on this. There's a difference between insecurity and incompatibility, two valid reasons why someone would stop pursuit of a relationship/dynamic.

Insecurity: People don't like the unknown. Why try something if the outcome is not guaranteed? He could have lacked the confidence or experience to be comfortable in that kind of situation, or deemed that the investment of time and effort wasn't worth it. Also, if he failed, it would be a big shot at his ego and may hurt his confidence moving forward. Nobody likes failing at something they believe they're good at.

Incompatibility: This comes down to alignment of goals and desires moving forward. Maybe attraction wasn't there; maybe it was a lack of common kinks among the two of you; perhaps he wanted a fling and you wanted long-term. No matter the case, you two were incompatible.

Personally, I am 0% switch, so I have no desire to be dominated in the slightest. That means that if I were to date a switch, they would be deprived of the capability to dominate so long as we were together, or they would have to look elsewhere. This may create an issue of incompatibility, and someone who is extremely interested in me may look elsewhere, or conversely, I may not see someone who tries to push that agenda on me despite their level of submissiveness.

Short answer: Yes, for some Doms it can scare or dissuade them from pursuing a dynamic/relationship if a Domme is looking to submit.

[Si****]

I would love to be your slave 🥰

[kimutu72]

1 hour ago, SensationDom34 said:

My ex-girlfriend of 3 years was only a Domme for her husband, and I was the only one who successfully earned the position of being her Dom, so I feel I may be able to weigh in on this. There's a difference between insecurity and incompatibility, two valid reasons why someone would stop pursuit of a relationship/dynamic.

Insecurity: People don't like the unknown. Why try something if the outcome is not guaranteed? He could have lacked the confidence or experience to be comfortable in that kind of situation, or deemed that the investment of time and effort wasn't worth it. Also, if he failed, it would be a big shot at his ego and may hurt his confidence moving forward. Nobody likes failing at something they believe they're good at.

Incompatibility: This comes down to alignment of goals and desires moving forward. Maybe attraction wasn't there; maybe it was a lack of common kinks among the two of you; perhaps he wanted a fling and you wanted long-term. No matter the case, you two were incompatible.

Personally, I am 0% switch, so I have no desire to be dominated in the slightest. That means that if I were to date a switch, they would be deprived of the capability to dominate so long as we were together, or they would have to look elsewhere. This may create an issue of incompatibility, and someone who is extremely interested in me may look elsewhere, or conversely, I may not see someone who tries to push that agenda on me despite their level of submissiveness.

Short answer: Yes, for some Doms it can scare or dissuade them from pursuing a dynamic/relationship if a Domme is looking to submit.

these were all the things we spoke about, our kinks were the same, he was definatley attracted to me as the 2nd meet he couldn keep his hands off me and we had late night convos where he ended up ringing me coz he was so excited. Maybe he changed his mind? maybe something happened in his vanilla life? who is to know 

[Si****]

Maybe you just choose shitty guys youre on a hook up site no prince charming here closest youll get is big dick bob just try to have fun i hope you’re doing good and everyone else who commented on this have an amazing day

[kimutu72]

3 minutes ago, Sirrazorbladez said:

Maybe you just choose shitty guys youre on a hook up site no prince charming here closest youll get is big dick bob just try to have fun i hope you’re doing good and everyone else who commented on this have an amazing day

Maybe we all have our types in& out of kink but I have tried going for someone different but that didn work 🤷‍♀️ Maybe the expectations of a site is too high

[Mi****]

4 hours ago, Sirrazorbladez said:

Maybe you just choose shitty guys youre on a hook up site no prince charming here closest youll get is big dick bob just try to have fun i hope you’re doing good and everyone else who commented on this have an amazing day

This is not a hook up site 😂

[Ba****]

I think this says more about him than you. For one reason or another, he isn’t interested and decided that he would blame you citing “you weren’t fully open” rather than give you the real reason. I am fortunate to have several RL friends who are pro-Dommes, and quite a few have at least one person they will submit to. Not all, but plenty.

Someone worthy of dominating you, won’t care about your labels. They will only care about your connection and whether you can give one another what you need.

[gh****]

Hey can you unblock me please we spoke a long time ago

[Deleted Member]

I in all honesty have the same question. I have run into this situation, though with women instead of men, and have questioned it myself. I thought it was just a me situation but, and I hate to say this, I am glad that I am not the only one.

[Obispo]

A Dom who knows about Subbing, can appreciate what a Sub needs and desires.

[UK****]

10 hours ago, ghost7777 said:

Hey can you unblock me please we spoke a long time ago

I could be wrong but I suspect she blocked you for a reason.  Unless that reason has changed I suspect her decision won't have.  You need to respect that.

[RUOK]

Actually, you're not just afraid if your partner might be more experienced in something. At least I have never encountered such ***s. Neither with me nor with my counterpart. I suspect it's a personal problem that he needs to sort out with himself first. There's no point in worrying about it now unless he opens up on his own.

[kimutu72]

11 hours ago, Cissa-Mine said:

I in all honesty have the same question. I have run into this situation, though with women instead of men, and have questioned it myself. I thought it was just a me situation but, and I hate to say this, I am glad that I am not the only one.

did you find the answer

[kimutu72]

8 hours ago, Obispo said:

A Dom who knows about Subbing, can appreciate what a Sub needs and desires.

indeed thats why I wanted to try the other side of this world, but its easier said than done unfortunatley

[Ba****]

16 hours ago, ghost7777 said:

Hey can you unblock me please we spoke a long time ago

Oh I won’t be doing that.

[Co****]

Just my thoughts...........in how Dom was he really?
Did you both have that mind connection ,......forplay....... that I understand is all part of a being a Genuine Dom ?

Or was it based on physical alone......and what will be done physically??

Which kind of leads me onto also.......can a Domme really get into s Sub mindspace? or is it to experience the change in physical roles alone?

I may ask that separately x

I'm sorry he ghosted you......it's horrible.

Xx

[kimutu72]

6 hours ago, CosmicAngel said:

Just my thoughts...........in how Dom was he really?
Did you both have that mind connection ,......forplay....... that I understand is all part of a being a Genuine Dom ?

Or was it based on physical alone......and what will be done physically??

Which kind of leads me onto also.......can a Domme really get into s Sub mindspace? or is it to experience the change in physical roles alone?

I may ask that separately x

I'm sorry he ghosted you......it's horrible.

Xx

we only met for coffee I thought we had a mental connection,

we spoke alot about what we were interested in, rules, what he expected from me, What I wanted.

I honestly dnt know if I can get into the head space to be a sub, but how will I find out unless I try.

I personally think that be better a domme to experience the other side will give me a better understanding. I may be wrong.

Thank you for your opinion

 

[Co****]

You sound Lovely x

[kimutu72]

11 minutes ago, CosmicAngel said:

You sound Lovely x

lol thank you

[Si****]

Always waiting to worship You Goddess 🥰

[UK****]

On 8/31/2024 at 1:06 PM, Rev_J said:

It would be huge compliment for me (for a Domme to submit to me, and I have experienced it in the past). 

Yes, I agree.  I've only had the situation once and felt it was a great sign of trust she put in me.  I can also see how the Dom may be intimidated by the situation and perhaps ***ful that it won't work (unable to get you in the right mindset), however if that's the case then best to be honest.

[Is****]

For me , an assertive intelligent woman submitting to me is the greatest compliment she can give . Whether she is naturally inclined as domme or sub in the bedroom. And it’s a big responsibility not to fail her trust .