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mydarkpassenger

First session as dom

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mydarkpassenger
Posted

Yesterday I completed my first session ever as a dom and it seemed to go very well.  I had her blindfolded laying down on my large ottoman while I used a riding crop, paddle, ice and a Wartenberg Pinwheel on her.  I played with her for over an hour and had her legs shaking nicely by the end. I cuddled with her afterwards (read a bit on AfterCare) and today she wrote me a few times today to tell me how much she enjoyed it.  I would like to be the best dom I can be so I was curious what are the best books/resources out there for new doms or if anyone has any suggestions?  The hardest part I'm having is giving direct instructions when she was here.  Felt like I kept confusing her since I was being more vague and I'm not sure how to direct situations well yet. I told her that I will get her a collar after 10 sessions and after she has completed some goals I set for her.  I feel it will be something for her to work towards plus we both think collars are sexy.  I also ordered her a remote controlled vibrator where I will take her to public locations to use it and one of her goals will be going to somewhere like a Walmart where I control it and make her interact with people while I have it going off. P.S. I don't live with her and she's not into taking any photos so I don't see much point in having her do tasks since I can't see them and they don't benefit me.  

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Posted

Some subs doesnt like photos and I think you should respect this. Second its about trust so if you give her a task to do and she said shes done it, you should believed her, this is some kind of mutual respect. Third, its not all about your benefit.

There are no book recipes about being a dom/sub, its about experience between you two, conversations before and after sessions. If your dynamic is only oriented sexually, maybe try to understand her body reaction, not only with spanking and pain but also, sensually with massage, rubbing, soft pinching, candle wax, warm scented oil even knitting wool.

 If you need some ideas, there are many bdsm video online, try to reproduced it with your own touch, its all about being personal and intime with your sub. 

Posted
im glad you did after care. not all knew doms know about it. after care is very important to subs. be it snack an a drink or a cuddle or al 3
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