Lack on Fetish.com

Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this somewhat long post. I am attempting to establish minimum compatibility prior to spending an extensive amount of time chatting. your honesty with yourself, who you are, and what you want is paramount.
My ultimate goal is to find a partner in life with whom I can be Myself without . My descriptions and requirements below are in many cases goals, though they need to be acceptable to you as anything said or written is considered an acknowledgement and soft-commitment; honesty and transparency are important to Me.
Obviously, there will be discussions surrounding basic life goals and desires as well as the items below, so don't get scared away thinking you and your feelings are not being considered. Part of being a Daddy is concern for My girl and her well being.
you will use My use of capitalization in written communications.
The lists below are in no particular order, hence bullets, not numbers, mostly just a stream of consciousness.
I very much look forward to starting a dialogue with you, so reach out soon.
About Me
I am an Owner/Daddy who has had one submissive 30 years ago and the same one again recently for a total of about 2 years. That relationship is completely over now.
The hiatus between was when I pushed the kinkier side of Me down and lived a vanilla life. I am at the point I no longer want to ignore my kinks and fetishes and I would like to have another sub/slave with a cervix to join Me.
• I have a low body count and prefer you to have the same, if possible, though this is not a hard requirement. Corrupting you is one of my fetishes.
• I want to create a relationship of trust and safety where we both can express our desires without judgement.
• Assuming compatibility, marriage is possible/probable though regardless you will be collared.
• I have an extensive list of kinks and fetishes, some of which may be considered extreme.
• I have sadistic tendencies.
• I am well educated.
• I have a felony conviction for negligent homicide as part of a traffic collision. No or alcohol were involved.
• I am white.
• I have a penis about 80% of average.
• I am currently overweight (200 lb), though I am working to improve Myself. My goal is 150 to 160 lb.
• My known limits are no or play.
About you
• you may have from previous relationship(s).
• you are open to being pregnant (once again) as I would like to have a child. This is not a hard requirement as long as you are accept another carrying the child.
• your commitment to me will be unshakeable regardless of our activities.
• you will put Me before yourself.
• you will never lie or deceive Me in any way as this would erode and/or threaten the safe environment.
• Preferably, you are similar in your experiences and lack thereof, and have my kinks and fetishes you have repressed and want to experience.
• you understand that I will most likely be open to or already have any fetish or kink you desire.
• your kinks/fetishes may concern or scare you because you the repercussions (not a requirement) as getting you to do those things is part of my desire. The safe environment I am seeking to build should help assuage many of your concerns.
o you will perform My fetishes and kinks even when they are not fully your own.
o you will be having sex with women. Whether you enjoy it to start is not relevant, though you will be expected to obey and participate enthusiastically.
• you will be expected to address Me as Sir at most times. Other pet names are acceptable as long as they are respectful.
• you will be collared once compatibility and long-term commitment has been established.
• you have masochistic tendencies.
• you swallow.
• you may be given an SLRN (this can be discussed).
• you will keep a tidy house and provide healthy meals (similar to TradWife).
• Preferably, you are similar in your experiences and lack thereof, and have many kinks/fetishes you have repressed and want to experience.
• Preferably, you are similar to Me in your experiences and lack thereof, and have many kinks/fetishes you have repressed and want to experience.

ABOUT ME:

Warning: I don't reply to low energy chats/messages.

I don't suffer fools gladly. So, if you're going to come at me, have personality, character, rapier wit, a sense of humour and thick skin. If you don’t have all five you'll be lucky to last a minute with me. I'll eat you alive.

Impress me.

Extra points if you're crazy. By crazy I mean Harley Quinn or Drusilla ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer" crazy.

Crazy is linked to genuine and creativity, which is why I naturally gravitate towards it.

Normal is boring. I'm not normal so I'm certainly not looking for normal.

If you're a pretty face with nothing under the hood I won't be interested.

About me: (Vanilla)

I'm a writer and future (hopefully) author.

I define myself as a sapiosexual, demisexual as well as a romantic, in the same vain as the romantic poets (Shelley, Byron, Burns).

I'd even credit Edgar Allan Poe as a romantic. Yes, he's gothic and dark and wistful and bleak, etc, but he's also ethereal and morbidly erotic.

Poe has always had an intrinsic way of quickening my heart and warming my , much in the same way as any of the aforementioned romantic poets.

Words are erotic to me. It doesn't even have to be sexual. It's more about the emotion behind those words.

It's the notion that every passing second of our time is a second that's gone, never to be relived

The idea that someone has spent their precious time, and spent unknown amount of firing neurons in order to communicate with you, and only you, in a private and an intimate manner.... it's highly, highly erotic.

Especially the written word.

It's why I snub instant messaging and exclusively patronise .

In terms of the sapiosexual and demisexual go. Intelligence is erotic to me. And so is forming a spiritual as well as a mental bond, as rare as it is.

There are many types of intelligence: linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrsonal, naturalistic, existential, creative, collaborative, practical intelligence, humour, etc

One of my main passions is cooking. I have a natural love and a flair for
cooking. I spend a large portion of my life in the kitchen.

I briefly trained as a chef. Then I didn't.

Cooking has always been intuitive and really natural to me. I can't bake worth a damn, though.

Baking is too much like chemistry to me. You require exact measurements, etc. With cooking you can riff, you can get creative and t outside the lines.

I'm a deep thinker. I'm spiritual (NOT religious) and believe in the power
of Chi. I believe in Ghosts, Vampires and Werewolves (what's life without whimsy), dimensions, multiverses, etc.

I'm interested in meditation and general self-improvement and self analysis.

Making mistakes, and owning them, is the quickest road to self-improvement.

A person who thinks that they're infallible and always right, will never grow, and they don’t think they have to.

I'm a free-thinker and tend to think independently from the masses. I naturally deviate from convention and tread the path less trodden.

"To thine ownself be true." - Shakespeare

I'm not a people person. I'm misanthropic.

I'm an introvert. I'm private. I don't like being the centre of attention. In fact, I like to keep as far back from people and the spotlight as
possible.

"The darkness is my friend." - Me.

I'm a geek. Always have been, always will be. Back in the 80s and 90s there was more chance of me being in the company of my Amiga, Spectrum, Master System, Mega Drive and Super Nintendo than a human being.

Not much has changed. Well, replace computer technology with books.

People talk about a "misspent youth." I spent my youth with celebrities such
as Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario Brothers, Donkey Kong, Link and Zelda, Ken, Ryu, Guile, etc.

I consider my youth to be spent wonderfully. I am privileged.

I'm deep, introspective, sardonic. pensive, and morose. I feel more at ease and happiest when I'm alone. I barely tolerate people.

As far as relationships go. I'm open to long distance. I'm seeking a forever TPE dynamic.

I don't really care about distance. I mean, let's be honest, the chance
of meeting a compatible soul is improbable as it is, if you use geography and location as obstacles, the "improbable" becomes the
"impossible".

Besides, it's 2025, not 1725. Distances can be bridged with the aid of heavy machinery with wings.

It takes a while to forge a strong relationship: It requires pillars of: respect, trust, honesty, compatibility, and communication. None of those things come easily or without dedication, conviction, and
time.

I'm a sapiosexual as well as a demisexual. I find intelligence very, very hot! Saying that, I'm not necessarily looking for a woman who is in MENSA. Intelligence comes in all shapes and sizes with many gradations and nuances.

There are many types of intelligence: linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrsonal, naturalistic, existential, creative, collaborative, practical intelligence, humour, etc

I require a mental, emotional, and spiritual bond before I can enter a physical relationship.

I'm not a social media person. The only social media platform I'm on is
Twitter (I'm not calling it X). I'm solely on there to contact customer
services of various companies.

I'm antisocial socially and antisocial social-medially.

My communication method of choice is s.

With s, you're able to convey mass amounts of information and details
without interruption, therefore making the "getting to know you" process quicker than short burst of texts on IM.

With s you can write chapter upon chapter.

With IM it's all immediate. IM gives you an obligation to reply instantly.

Sorry. Not for me.

I'm not saying that I'm unable to banter. Oh. I banter with the best of the. My banter skills are off the charts.

Movies: Fright Night 1 & 2, The Lost Boys, Nosferatu (1922), Interview with the Vampire, Dracula (1931), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Shadow of the Vampire? Barefoot in the park, Breakfast at Tiffany's, My Fair Lady, Casablanca, Jerry Maguire, Serendipity, Say Anything, Almost Famous,
Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's day off, Weird Science, Elvira: Mistress of the dark, Elvira: Haunted Hills, Dirty Dancing, The Big
Sick, Star Wars (The original trilogy), Firefly.

Television: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, It's Always sunny in Philadelphia, Wednesday, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Sex and the City, The Simpsons, Scrubs. South Park.

Author/Writer: Jane Austen, Edgar Allen Poe, Bram Stoker, The Bronte ***s, Emily Dickinson.

Music: The Smiths, The Cure, AC/DC, Classical music.

ABOUT ME: (Kink)

(Before I begin, I feel it incumbent upon to me to make a PSA:

If you're a new submissive (or even if you're experienced), of even a new Dominant, I want you to realize that there are a lot of men who use the pretense of being a "Dominant" in order to justify and legitimise their abusive tendencies.

Also, a submissive has as much power as a Dominant. More so, in fact, so don't be bullied and coerced into entering a toxic relationship.

A BDSM dynamic has to be built on mutual respect)

Red flag list:

1. Moving things too fast, lack of patience e.g wanting to collar you or wanting you to address them as "Master", etc, immediately after meeting them and/or being in contact with them.
   

2. Willing to collar you even if there's a lack of compatibility.
   

3. Lack of communication. A relationship ought to be based on communication and you can only learn about a person through it.
   

4. Someone who doesnt want to hear about hard limits.
   

5. Lack of respect e.g someone calling you derogatory names and/or expecting you to submit on their initial contact. Respect has to be earned, and so does disrespect.
   

6. Someone who isn't interested in you as a human being.
   

7. Someone who isn't willing or interested in connecting in an emotional level.
   

8. Easy to anger. Actually, any inclination towards anger is a red flag.
   

9. Lack of compatibility)
   
   I want a dynamic that is 24/7.
   
   I'm not into "keeping it in the bedroom/behind closed doors", as that's too much like roleplay with an on and off switch and it's way too low energy for me.
   
   No matter where you are or what you're doing, I want our dynamic to be swimming in your veins. I want the mere thought of me to increase your flow. I want the thought of me to warm your so that there's red lava flowing to and from your heart, a heart that quickens at the thought of me. The thought that I will own you forever. The thought of me being mentor, your guide, your teacher, your protector, your Dominant.
   
   My form of Dominance is one of psychology.
   
   It's my belief that before you can control a body and before you have a right to expect to claim dominion over a body, you must first infiltrate the mind:
   
   I want to know how you think, what you love, what you like, what you
   hate, and what you dislike. I want to know about your formative years, your upbringing, your parents, your family, your hobbies, your skills, your triumphs, your failures and your dreams and aspirations.
   
   I want to know about your experience as well as your dream BDSM dynamic. I
   want to know what turns you on, what gets your engines roaring, what your limit are, what reviles and disgusts you. I want to know the dirty little secrets inside your locked closet. I want to know what kinky stuff you've done, what sordid activities you'd love to try and I want to know exactly what type of submissive/slave you see yourself as, as well as describing you as you want to be.
   
   I, as your Dominant will make it my responsibility as well as my life goal to mould and to encourage you to flourish into the very best version of yourself that you can possibly be.
   
   This dynamic will be a living, breathing organism. It'll grow and develop and mature. It will be 24/7. It'll be all consuming, and it will be a life choice. A life lived together. Forever.
   
   At work, you will be my submissive. At the supermarket and at the mall and out in public, with your family you will be owned by me. Your every breath will contain my whisper. Every thought will have my fingerprints. And you will live knowing that every facet of your mind, body, life and soul are owned by me.
   
   And you will give them willingly, as it's my responsibility to encourage you to grow and develop. I will nurture you and teach you.
   
   I will adore you.
   
   I'll listen. I'll be your coach. I'll be your teacher, your mentor, your confidant, your protector as well as your best friend.
   
   I can not stress this enough. For a D/s dynamic to work, it has to be built on friendship. There must be unbreakable trust and respect. This
   is framed with communication and honesty. Through this, trust and affection will grow.
   
   Every cylinder must be firing. Every molecule must be engaged.
   
   We will be a team. We will listen, talk, laugh, share and learn from the other. Our bond will be stronger than any metal or element known to God or to man.
   
   This isn't an easy connection to develop. It takes honesty, trust,
   communication, dedication,compability, faith and time. Come into this half-hearted, and it will not work.
   
   Edgar Allen Poe has always been my muse: A Raven, my spirit .
   
   I would enjoy a walk and a picnic in a cemetery (probably by candlelight)
   as much as normal people would would like a walk and picnic in a park.
   
   My kinks are, but not limited to:
   
   Watersports, Vampirism (Hematolagnia)
   psychological Dominance, , public , Goth, taboo, skull-fucking, , pukejobs, d puking, rough fucking, anal, free use, CNC, play, bimbofication, food
   control, body modification, behaviour modification, body writing, deepthroat, TPE, chains, leather, outfits, heels, DP (with dildos, etc), toys, edging, tasks, cages, collar and leash, CMNF, etc.
   
   Hard limits: Poly and ***.
   
   I am not a soft Dom. As you call tell from my kink list, I do like taboo and extreme kinks. Essentially, though, verything is up for negotiation and discussion.
   
   I will be as extreme as I'm allowed to be.
   
   Very little is off the table.
   
   

Never used this site before.. but here goes. Im a trans sub. I am married. My husband (Dom) wants me to try and find another women/trans to possibly get to know and eventually become a strict Domme for me. My goal is to learn how to become an obedient sexy toy for you to mold into your fun little play thing.

Im on the heavier side currently but working on it. Ive had breast implants and facial fem surgeries. Im also kinda shy around new people because I lack confidence, but I'm really hoping to change that. If you'd like to know more, im mostly an open book. Feel free to ask.

Hmu in lackawanna xtremely bored very much in the mood smoke sex repeat hmu

So this is kind of an invitation for chats and just overall discussion.
Those subs who enjoy breath play…when do you enjoy the lack of air most?
You you prefer to climax during?
Or do you prefer the play to occur on and off throughout the buildup?
Or both??

When do you DISLIKE the lack of air during play?

Young couple 32M 26F in search of a nice big cock to stretch out this Hotwife. DDF and Drama free, can be difficult to schedule at times so be patient. We were able to have some fun yesterday, but it was lack luster at best.

We are more stag and vixen, I like to watch and claim her back.

Requirements:

Photos and Video are REQUIRED

8"+ (cut preferably) BBC+++

Be clean from both *** and diseases.

If wanting to play raw; must have clean results within last 60 days. If not condoms are required.

Must be ok with Solo wife or Husband joining. (NoMM play, not Bi) We are leaning towards solo play- I will be nearby if solo.

Must be respectful and flexible with scheduling.

Be discrete, no photos or videos on personal device. We take everything on our own. Can share photos and videos after the fun if needed/
wanted. Not trying to have our entire ife out in the open.

Send Photos and description in first message. Face optional before meerinf and NSFW required before talking, no point in wasting each others time if it isnt a match. Will respond with photos if interested as well as ask additional follow up questions.

If you haven't made it this far, we are not a match.

I'm always shocked at the lack of nerdy heavyset men in my inbox 😮‍💨 where are the chubs, the bears, the men who's entire body jiggles with each step?

It now seems almost impossible getting a respectful and humble sub/partner lol.

Tho I am very picky, some men are almost annoying, they lack manner of approach, I don’t know what the internet is now turning into this days.
Looking foward to explore my darkest fantasy with you, I mean you 😈

Asap. Today in Oslo or Dramen. Have to be f***. Extreme measures due to long delays and lack of parts. Help

Heyy,

As the headline says, looking for a female domme to explore my souls desires and kinks with. This can be online or in person depending on how comfortable i feel getting along with you.

I’m fairly new to this though I can reassure what I lack in experience I make up for in enthusiasm.

I have a list of kinks, and can share more about myself once you message me. I value openness, compassion, and building connection between one another 😁

Looking for those ladies, married or single in an intimacy lacking rut. Especially if you have a taste for chocolate. Also, if discretion is needed, that would be easy to provide.

SUGGESTIONS IF YOU'RE NEW TO THE COMMUNITY:

PRIVACY & PERSONAL SAFETY: Many things we do can be used against us. People have Lost Friends, Spouses, Jobs & even Custody of their Kids. In rare cases, people have lost their Freedom & put in Jail simply because they were a bit Kinky. We have made some strides in the “Vanilla World” to become a little more accepted, but Don’t Take Unnecessary Risks! Keep Personal Information Private! Better Safe Than Sorry. Down the road, if you have a 'falling out' with someone, you don't want them to have any private info to use against you. You never know who is listening or what their real intent is.

KEEP YOUR PRIVATE MATTERS & INFO TO YOURSELF: ie… your Real Name, Address, Phone #, Employer, Finances, or anything about your Family. (If you do talk on the phone, USE # BLOCKING) Double-check any Accounts You Use & Make Sure Your LAST NAME IS NOT INCLUDED Anywhere, & it can not be traced back to you! NEVER! GIVE ANYONE ACCESS TO YOUR FINANCIAL INFORMATION, Credit Cards, Checks etc!!! NEVER LOAN ANYONE !!! EVER!!! USE A SCENE NAME. It could be your middle name, nickname, internet “handle,” or any other name you want to be called. Sometimes, a scene name indicates whether you are Top or bottom, etc.(Sir Noble, Master Savage, or subbie-girl) If you Do use your Real 1st name, NEVER USE YOUR LAST NAME! KEEP ALL YOUR KINK MATTERS SEPARATE FROM YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNTS ON YOUR COMPUTER BY GETTING A Yahoo, Hotmail, etc. Account using that New Scene Name. This will help keep Personal Information Private.

START WITH A LOCAL MUNCH!!! What is a Munch? A MUNCH is a Discrete, Informal, Meeting at a Safe Public Place, (usually a restaurant). It is for people who just happen to Share a similar Interest, in BDSM & other Alternate Lifestyles. We get together in a NON-threatening manner & get to know one another. We have a few laughs, discuss whatever topics might come up, & in general, have a good time. It’s a great place to start Meeting people in your local Kinky Community, sharing ideas, & Giving & Get Support from people who Understand! Very Friendly, Very Casual! Most Munches even have a website you can go to, so you can chat & get to know people before you even get there. To find a Munch near you, please tell me what part of Atlanta you live in, and I'll let you know a few munches that might be interesting.

Why start there? It’s MUNCH SAFER since it is in Public, and you have Witnesses who actually Understand what’s going on. Usually, people know each other and can tell you who to trust or stay away from. A BDSM Community creates Accountability for the group since anyone who repeatedly Disrespects or Endangers others is Chastised or Shut down.

Some Munches have Optional Private "PLAY PARTIES" or "DUNGEONS" afterward. There should be NO PRESSURE TO ACTUALLY PLAY. You can visit with people further, or enjoy watching some of the action. What kind of action? All sorts of kinky things go on. It depends on the Rules of the Dungeon. In Atlanta, the Rumors pop-up dungeon doesn't allow actual intercourse, but the A51 Group pop-up dungeon does allow intercourse. There will probably be lots of kneeling, crawling, pinching, clamping, bondage & spanking. In some cases, there is also probing and pricking, among other things. There are plenty of people around, so Safety shouldn't be so much of an issue. Go slow and get to know a group one person at a time.

BEFORE MEETING SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME:

LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS! If they seem crazy, they probably are. Think twice! USE COMMON SENSE! Think with your Head, NOT Your Emotions or Libido. Be realistic. Keep your wits about you and AVOID TAKING ANY UNNECESSARY RISKS. GO SLOW! GET TO KNOW THEM! Take lots of TIME to Ask lots of QUESTIONS! Don’t be afraid to ask. If they are unwilling to answer, Beware! Listen for any suspicious answers or excuses.

WATCH FOR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE or EXPERIENCE on the subject. If they don’t know much about BDSM, even if they mean well, they MAY ACCIDENTALLY HURT YOU (in a Bad way) because they don’t know any better! Don’t be their guinea pig! Let them learn at a Local Dungeon, Club, or Play Party where they can be Monitored & Mentored.

Also, it is a sign that this May Be A WAY OF GETTING YOU ALONE or INTO THEIR BED. There are many creeps online who have figured out that presenting themselves as a Top is a quick, easy doorway to getting a lot of attention from women who are eager to fulfill their fantasies & desires.

WATCH FOR LACK OF RESPECT, CARE, or CONCERN! A GOOD TOP TAKES CARE OF HIS “TOYS” & Wants them to be safe! If they seem Not to Respect Your Health, Safety, Comfort, Or Limits, or if they constantly TRY TO PRESSURE, RUSH, or GUILT you (Verbally, Mentally, Or Physically), then STAY AWAY! If they GET ANGRY at your Cautiousness or Questions, too bad! Better to have them angry than you are Battered, Sexually Violated, or Dead!

DON’T BE PRESSURED (BULLIED, GUILTED, TRICKED or RUSHED). DON’T FALL FOR EXCUSES, LIES, MANIPULATION, OR B.S.! Predatory Tops/Doms often use these strategies to take advantage of naïve & desperate bottoms/subs. Be Careful of the EGO RESUME’, ie. "I've been doing this for 10 years, so I know what I'm doing". Maybe they have, but older is NOT always wiser! Experience does not excuse them from respecting your need for safety & comfort! Watch out for Guilt & Manipulations such as: “If You Were A TRUE Submissive/Slave, Then You Would Do It.“ There is NO such thing as a TRUE anything! People are not Robots! Everyone is Different! Your Personal Skills, Needs, & Limitations WILL be Different from others. That does NOT make you a lousy sub! Submission is a very special & potentially a DANGEROUS gift to give so freely. Please do NOT Give it away Frivolously! Be very careful who you give it to! It could SAVE your LIFE!

ASK FOR REFERENCES! & ACTUALLY CHECK THEM OUT!
Some people figure you won’t actually call and give you a fake name or Number as a reference. If they can't give you any references, beware!

ACTUALLY MEETING SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME:

ON THE FIRST TIME: ALWAYS MEET IN PUBLIC & STAY IN PUBLIC. If possible, meet at a Local Munch, Play Party, BDSM Event or Club. Otherwise, meet in a WELL-POPULATED PUBLIC AREA like a restaurant or coffee shop, and NEVER anywhere Secluded like a park or parking lot. STAY IN PUBLIC. Do Not go anywhere private on the 1st meeting Ever! Meet Publicly Several times until you completely trust them. GO SLOW! You can always do more next time. If there’s no next time, you just saved yourself Headache, Heartache, & maybe your LIFE! Don’t be afraid to call a halt if you are uncomfortable in any way.

HAVE HIM COME TO YOUR TERRITORY FIRST! If a male player wants to meet you. Once you get on the plane & you're far from all your resources, you are completely to what may happen. That’s Sexist! - Yep! That’s reality! Males are generally bigger, stronger & more aggressive than girls. Play the odds!

HAVE A 'SAFE PERSON'. A Safe Person is someone you trust to be reliable in a crisis. It is best if it is a friend from the scene or at least knows about the Lifestyle. If you don’t want to tell someone about your kink, tell them it is a Blind Date from the internet or something.

A] GIVE THE SAFE PERSON AS MUCH INFORMATION AS POSSIBLE: at least His Name, Address & Phone Number – VERIFY IT by directly reading it off his driver’s license BEFORE leaving the safety of a public place. Then add CAR TAGS, descriptions, etc. Verify the address when you get there.

B] HAVE A SAFE CALL. Tell the safe person that you will call them at regular intervals & when you are safely home. If they do not receive the call, have them call you or even drop in wherever you meet. Make it clear to your friend that if you do not call & do not answer when they call, you Really Want Them To CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY & explain that you asked them to do so. If there is some mistake, the police will no doubt give you a hard time, but it is much better than the alternative of not getting help. Always have a safe call, even if you are meeting this person locally. If they tell you you don't need one, then RUN! ... because they have something more up their sleeve.

C] HAVE A pre-determined SECRET WORD or Phrase that Signals that they need to Call The Police! Pick something Common that you won’t say accidentally. Such as mentioning going shopping at a particular store the next day or feeding a dog when they know you don’t have one. Maybe you think this is overkill, & you won’t need it. However, simply having it in place is a great deterrent, & it gives you the confidence to deal with things if difficulty arises. After all, what kind of idiot would try anything non-consensual if you warn them a friend will pass their details to the police if you have not heard from them soon?

D] Also, HAVE A PRE-EXISTING EXCUSE TO LEAVE if you do not get along. Tell the new prospect at the beginning of the evening that you have to visit a relative later or check in on a friend. If things are going wonderfully, you can always appear to make a quick phone call to cancel.

DO NOT PLAY OR GO ANYWHERE PRIVATE THE FIRST TIME!!

If it's your first meeting TAKE IT SLOW. You can always do more next time, You Can NEVER GO BACK & DO LESS!

BEFORE PLAYING WITH SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME:

1) KNOW & SHARE YOUR DESIRES & FANTASIES WITH YOUR LIMITS, CONCERNS & HEALTH ISSUES! TOPS ARE NOT MIND-READERS! Do not fall for the myth “If they are a true Top, then they’ll just Know what to do!” Every person is different! What may make one girl Melt? It may send you to therapy! So, write out what you want and enjoy, along with your limitations, concerns, and health issues, in an , letter, or story. It may be a little uncomfortable or embarrassing, but it is not as uncomfortable as Tears, Hysteria, Scars, and Therapy. Tops, INSIST ON COMMUNICATION to learn a bottom's needs!

2) NEGOTIATE ALL LIMITS & BOUNDARIES BEFOREHAND! Also, make sure that, in any agreement, the action will stop when either player uses safe words or safe signals. Save all this information. Be sure to MENTION ALL Mental, Emotional, or Physical HEALTH CONDITIONS, limitations, problems, or concerns. Include EVERYTHING! Physical (Allergies, Medications, Sugar issues, Seizers), Emotional (Triggers), Mental (Depression, PTSD, Bi-Polar)

3) HAVE SAFE WORDS/signals. In most places, the word 'YELLOW' means slow down, and 'RED' means stop. Putting your hand on a Top’s ankle means you’re hitting Too Hard, please Lighten Up. Other people have different words.

ACTUALLY USE YOUR SAFE WORDS. DON'T BE TOO SHY TO USE THEM. Don’t worry about ‘Impressing the Top’ at the expense of your happiness. If in doubt, use YELLOW (since it just slows things down, there is no reason to worry about disappointing a Top.) Either Tops or bottoms may want to call a halt to the action. Even when the words (or signals) are negotiated, it's wise for a Top to be aware that a new bottom often hesitates to use them. They may be too Anxious, Shocked, or Deep In Subspace to communicate clearly. Until you're sure, they will use safe words & signals, read body language & pay attention. If a Top says you don’t need safe words, this is a BIG RED FLAG!!! Do NOT play with that person! Period!

LIMIT BONDAGE! Until you have played with them a few times & COMPLETELY TRUST THEM to respect Safewords & Limits, it is worth limiting how much bondage play you use. After all, in an emergency, you want to be able to get up & run!

This does not mean you can not use bondage, keep it lighter. Cuffs you can quickly let yourself out of, let you play with the image, but leave you able to get free. Ankle cuffs & spreader bars are less of an issue as, so long as you have your hands free, you can always free your ankles yourself - just DO NOT LET THEM LOCK YOU INTO ANYTHING.

Try Using MENTAL BONDAGE, SYMBOLIC BONDAGE, & perhaps even BLINDFOLDS instead. They can all add incredible levels of intensity without ever actually making it impossible to leave.

NO GAGS! 1) Because if they try to abduct you, then you are TO CALL OUT FOR HELP. 2) Because even if they are a well-meaning Top, YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE & USE SAFEWORDS. Until they have played with you a few times & gotten to know your Limits & Desires, Only use Mental Gags & Voice Restrictions.

RED FLAGS! WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR!

IF THEY TELL YOU DON'T NEED SAFE WORDS, SAFE CALLS or LIMITS, then RUN! ... They have something up their sleeve. BIG RED FLAG!

WATCH FOR a LACK OF RESPECT, CARE, OR CONCERN for your well-being!
If they DO NOT RESPECT your Health, Safety Or Limits in any way.
If they try to PRESSURE, RUSH, or BULLY you Verbally, Mentally, Or Physically.
If they GET ANGRY or Annoyed at your Cautiousness or Questions. Beware!
If they are UNWILLING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS or Give Suspicious Answers Or Excuses. THESE ARE BIG RED FLAGS!

If a male player REFUSES TO GIVE their REAL INFO, SHOW his DRIVER’S LICENSE or REFUSES TO COME TO YOUR TERRITORY FIRST.

If they HAVE NO REFERENCES.

If they EXPRESS ANGER, , RESENTMENT, or any other Negative Emotions ABOUT YOU TALKING TO OTHERS, then you have a warning that something is fishy if they TRY TO SECLUDE YOU from the outside world.

If they seem to Have A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE on the subject. It may mean this is just A WAY OF GETTING YOU ALONE OR GETTING YOU INTO THEIR BED. Also, they MAY ACCIDENTALLY HURT YOU because they don’t know what they are doing!

If they INSIST ON SEX. 'Do they ever play non-sexually?'

If they WANT or FINANCIAL INFORMATION. RUN! NEVER, EVER, Give Anyone Access To Your Financial Info, Credit Cards, Checks etc!!! NEVER LOAN ANYONE ***!!! EVER!!!

If your potential partner SAYS ANY OF THE FOLLOWING, RUN!:
• “IF YOU WERE A TRUE SUBMISSIVE/SLAVE THEN YOU WOULD DO THIS. “
• “DON’T EVER QUESTION ME! I've been doing this for 10 years. I know what I'm doing, “
• “I DON'T WANT YOU TO TALK TO ANYONE ELSE ABOUT ME. You Have NO RIGHT TO ASK OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT ME“
• “IF I find out YOU TALKED TO OTHERS ABOUT ME, I'LL NEVER have anything to do WITH YOU AGAIN “
• “You Should ONLY TRUST WHAT I TELL YOU & NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE ELSE. EVERYTHING OTHER PEOPLE SAID ABOUT ME IS A LIE”
• “YES, WHAT THEY TOLD YOU WAS TRUE, BUT I AM A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW “
• If there's a PICTURE OF THEIR GENITALS, BUT NOT THEIR FACE in their profile.

This was diligently compiled & lovingly plagiarized by Sting-ATL from every source I could find.

Went through some rough stuff at 19 that just turned me off from sex. Nothing health wise. Will leave it at that. Have been open to it lately. Tired of doing it myself. Pretty good looking guy. Could go to a bar, just not a drinker. Not looking for a relationship or anything serious. Just wanna release this tension!!! I’ve genuinely developed anger issues from the lack of sex in my life. Don’t believe in paying for sex. Just goes against my morals and I don’t need the trouble.
Pretty chill guy. Like to talk, like to explore. Meet new people and make friends. Am into music and make music. Looking to make new friends more than anything. Had a restart of life at 20 and my social life has been non existent.
Either way, if u wanna hmu to chat feel free to! Not a dry guy!

It's been a fair bit of time since I've last written an add, though I think it's about time I put out my feelers and see what/who I can find.

A Bit About Me.

My Day To Day Side


I have been active as a dom for more or less all of my adult life, both online and offline and have had many long lasting dynamics over this time as well as many more short term arrangements. Some have been simple scratching of one another's itches, filling a desire for a time before parting whilst others have been much more intimate, with me recently parting with someone on sad but mutual terms. I am a very geeky person, I love to share this nerdiness with those I can, I am an avid gamer, I love to read (and have a more recent infatuation with audiobooks), I like to write, I have a passion for dnd (sadly a forever dm, though given I like to write I do enjoy it quite a bit).
You don't not need to get to know the day to day side of me if you do not wish, I know some simply prefer to focus on the dynamic and that is fine, just be sure to make this intention clear early on.

The Dom I Am


I am an exceedingly patient person, I always have been and try my best to be this way. That being said, I'm not the sort of person to accept poor excuses and if someone shows a lack of effort, I will move on and part ways. I see a dom/sub ect. style of dynamic being made from mutual respect, regardless of if you wish to be treated as an object and dejected to constant I will still hold you're best interests at heart and hold you back from making choices I believe you would regret later. I respect peoples boundaries greatly, though will probe to find the limits of those boundaries quite early on, I like to use the traffic light safe word system, it's simple, easy to remember and clear in it's intent... assuming the other party is at least somewhat familiar with traveling by car. I will never be disappointed by something we are engaging in being stopped due to this so never push yourself beyond your comfort zone.
I like to use a mixture of live sessions and set tasks with set living rules for those who serve me, though I can adjust this to fit a potential applicant, at the end of this is a series of questions, answer them honestly instead of just in a way that pushes your buttons.
I will never share anything sent to me without your consent. Even then, I will verify with you about it. Trust is important to me and you feeling safe is important. You will be revealing the self you hide from the world to me and make yourself , even if that self likes to be talked to like a piece of dirt under my shoe you should be able to feel safe still whilst you explore your desires.


A Bit About You


I expect you to be honest, more then anything else I have always found this to be the single most important building block to any dynamic. Breaking a rule may result in an unpleasant punishment but it does mean you earn my trust.
You are not expected to be interested in everything I list, just be honest with what interests you and we can work around that.
Your level of experience doesn't matter, you can be brand new and don't nothing more then watch some porn of scenarios and want guidance or you could of been active for the last 20 years, everyone is different and it just changes the starting point simply.
If you are trans or other, please specify when it comes to the questions at what stage you are are, it can effect the potential tasks I can set after all.
Do not worry about your age (as long as you are 20+), many of my best subs have had up to 20 years on me, you would have just as much chance of being taken on as anyone else. I have been told people have been unsure about applying in the past due to this type of age difference, only to find we get along extremely well.
I expect you to know some of your boundaries out of the gate and to be up front about them. It's important to know what is too much, even if that too much is just the simple limits of not doing anything illegal ect.
You should answer the questions at the end of this add to the best of your ability, the more information I have to work with the more smoothly things can begin, as well as it's just handy to have a solid reference point as I get to know you.
You will not be expected to fit all potential criteria listed in this add, there is a good chance you will only hit on 1 or 2 points I mention and that is perfectly fine, every dynamic is different and I am happy to work within my subs boundaries/interests. For instance, you may love to try live sessions but find it hard to follow tasks or rules when your dom is not around, be honest about this at the start or as it becomes apparent so we can work around this.
I will expect frequent communication from you, even if its just a few messages a day to keep in touch, it helps me to more quickly get a grasp on your day to day affairs and how I can best work around them as well as just generally helps cement our dynamic.
You have a life, likely family, a job, a social life, I wont be taking any of this away with this dynamic, it's important that this dynamic adds to your life, that it doesn't interrupt it.
If you want something to become more serious, I would only consider it if you where at least within the uk, this is simply for practicalities sake, if I was to get that close to someone, I'd want to be able to wrap my arms around them.
Be sure to mention cookies somewhere in your response, so I know you've read everything.

Alpha- submissive masochist-Independent, self reliant, educated, attractive, woman seeking mature, male counterpart.
If you are 'Married, In a relationship, it's complicated'
NEED NOT APPLY.
I am seeking a relationship, companionship, a friend- not drama.
I am extremely open to most adventures. Limits are few.
My pic will be reciprocated upon request.
Looks- - I'm attractive, not the 'built like Barbie' type by any means, but not obese.; What I lack in form, I make up for in class and subservience.
I am D &D free and WILL stay that way and can/will provide documentation to that and expect the same from you.
I am seeking someone with the same needs as I...
A Romantic, Friendship relationship, etc.
A respectful friendship and to be seduced, romanced, courted.
Please only apply if you are someone very charismatic & assertive, but not in an arrogant way but more of a charismatic character..
I am an educated business professional & independent.
I spend allday being the dominant personality in a male dominated profession and need to relax that on my off time and just be a girl.
I am not looking for one nighters. If that is what you are looking for, i am not she. As i said, i am seeking long-term & not long distance relationship.
If you are 'He', please contact me.
I'm no looking for anyone to complete me, just a potential start if a loving friendship\relationship with Ds dynamic.
Ds experience and appreciation a must

Cincy/ NKy Alpha- submissive masochist-Independent, self reliant, educated, attractive, woman seeking mature, male counterpart.
If you are 'Married, In a relationship, it's complicated'
NEED NOT APPLY.
I am seeking a relationship, companionship, a friend- not drama.
I am extremely open to most adventures. Limits are few.
My pic will be reciprocated upon request.
Looks- - I'm attractive, not the 'built like Barbie' type by any means, but not obese.; What I lack in form, I make up for in class and subservience.
I am D &D free and WILL stay that way and can/will provide documentation to that and expect the same from you.
I am seeking someone with the same needs as I...
A Romantic, Friendship relationship, etc.
A respectful friendship and to be seduced, romanced, courted.
Please only apply if you are someone very charismatic & assertive, but not in an arrogant way but more of a charismatic character..
I am an educated business professional & independent.
I spend allday being the dominant personality in a male dominated profession and need to relax that on my off time and just be a girl.
I am not looking for one nighters. If that is what you are looking for, i am not she. As i said, i am seeking long-term & not long distance relationship.
If you are 'He', please contact me.
I'm no looking for anyone to complete me, just a potential start if a loving friendship\relationship with Ds dynamic.
Ds experience and appreciation a must

I'm looking for an adult store in the Chicago area that specializes in more extreme lifestyles like huge anal play as in massive plugs, dildo, fisting/gaping toys... any recommendations? Lovers Lane lacks in that department and only cater to vanilla people.

Humans are creatures of comfort and familiarity.
I see you. The married woman browsing this app, dreaming of what could have been. The younger woman desperately seeking acceptance and acknowledgment in an ever growing world of options. The lonely woman pretending to be content living alone and having meaningless flings to fill the void.
Each story is different but tragically the same.
You lack the willpower to leave your narcissistic partner. You lack the courage to begin a journey if the path isn't already known. Day and night, you dream of the perfect partner, a Dominant that fits all of your criteria, to swoop in and rescue you from monotony.
Be honest with yourself. If happiness requires sacrifice, are you willing to take the step? Trust your instinct. Your heart knows what you want.
You just need to have faith in it. You are the reason you are searching. You are the reason you are lonely. You allow distance to hinder your happiness, yet planes exist. You allow your beliefs to cement your feet, yet don't take the time to understand another's.

A BDSM, D/s, DDIg, M/s dynamic is substantially more difficult than a vanilla relationship. Why make it more difficult with excuses. Trusting another enough to be completely *** is one of the most difficult things you can do.
Women/woman/girls, let your heart escape mediocrity. You only have a brief moment of existence on this ball of earth and water. Will you look back and smile at the life you had because you took a chance at happiness?

Hi😅 I'm Rory, I'm a sub/bottom/brat/pet/prey/little
That feels like a lot but might as well list it all
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In search of a dom/trainer, please understand i do have one partner currently but they're not very kinky and we are in a polyamorous relationship. They don't have to be included but if yall find eachother attractive im not against it.
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Message me for more info?
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Sorry if this post is lacking, it's my first time on this app

I’m a healthy 45 year old man with a clean body and dirty mind. I wish I could meet 50+year olds. Let’s have dinner parties, karaoke, trivia night, travel, 80’s parties, and play parties?

If you think I’m a perv then walk away BUT, if you are tired of lonely nights, solitary nights, and feeling like something is lacking then hit me up. Tired of watching porn and living restrained and frustrated? Then let’s meet up, get to know each other, and start living our best lives, being less than ordinary.

Nothing is too tame and nothing is off the table. Let’s play your game by your rules.

Hey there! I'm exploring kink, and looking for other pup-oriented folks to either befriend or flirt with (or both!) or maybe even play with if the vibes click.

I'm discovering my top side, as I recently made the discovery that I am definitely a top. In terms of dominant vs submissive, I'm not sure and I don't really want to label myself yet because I have a lack of experience.

But if you want to be called good boy or some version thereof, I'm your guy!

At the very least, I want to chat about puppy related things with other pup-oriented people. Maybe share cool art or something.

If you're interested, feel free to DM me!

Looking for a regular proper relationship but where I’m the sub/ lackey/ simp

Its hard being a switch sometimes, two halves of yourself wanting 2 very different vibes. Im open to both. I want both. And im not lacking in either, yet at the same time it feels as if finding both is almost an impossibility.