Fun with Forced Feminization | A BDSM Guide

BDSM isn’t just about dungeons and chains, sometimes you’re looking for sub-one covered in frilly lace, cleaning your house and pleasuring your guests… Forced feminization or sissification is something quite a few people enjoy, so we asked writer Cameryn Moore to share some tips for those untrained in forced sissification.
 

Forced Feminization Training 101

“I just want to be your little slut,” the man whimpered on the other end of the line, and I smiled and relaxed back onto my bed. It was the first time this caller had talked to me, but his behaviour—elevated vocal pitch, plea for humiliation, gendered slurs—was familiar, falling right into forced feminization territory.
 

In my eight years doing phone sex for a no-taboo company (“no taboo” meant that we would handle just about any call), such calls were relatively common, from men who wanted to be my telephone sub, with extra elements of feminization that went beyond simply trying on a pair of silky panties. So I’ve got plenty of ideas for getting into forced feminization play or sissy training.

Sissy at your service!  lust4lthr. Flickr Creative Commons license
 

Dressing him up

If your male partner likes to try on these clothes on his own, it’s just crossdressing. Forced sissification enters the picture when he has to put on something that YOU say. Dressing up one’s sissy is usually the first part of forced feminization, and the costuming also sets the scene, so it’s important that you handle this part of your dynamic seriously. Taking him with you to go shopping for his clothing, or doing it together online, is an excellent prelude.
 

If you are feeling nice/generous, you can ask him what he is drawn to; if you’re the Bitchy Queen in this relationship, don’t allow him any input at all. (If you do take him shopping and you want him to try things on, remember to be extra discreet.)

Whether you are able to have him try things on and show you, or you just have to select things and hope they fit, try to keep a steady flow of conversation going about them:

• Why you chose these clothes
• How they will look on him
• What certain colours mean

For example, I always said pink and lace were for princesses, and red was for sluts. Pretty standard Western gender stereotypes, as far as these things go, but it’s a good starting place when you’re messing around in your man’s head.

Service and submission

What you have your sissy wear will be partly informed what you want him to do.

• Do you want a purely decorative sissy, someone clad in outrageous and not-very-practical latex or lace concoctions? (You might even go the other way, strip them down to vulnerable nakedness, just a touch of lipstick for a Clothed Female Naked Male, or CFNM party!)
• Perhaps you are looking for domestic submission, e.g. housecleaning or cooking? Are you expecting intense sexual service, either for yourself or for other people of your choosing?

Whatever your goals for your partner’s submission, you will want to constantly assert the role of your sissy, both verbally and through action.This power play can have any number of emotional overlays. You may decide to play it tender and loving - praising your sissy in very specific ways for how they perform the tasks that you set to them.
 

“You did so well pouring the tea this afternoon, my dear. Not a drop spilled!”

Or you can decide to be precise and high-protocol, instructing your sissy to stand or kneel in a certain way. In this case, remember to tell them why you are giving them a position.
 

“I want to see your ass sticking out. We both know you like showing that off.”

Domination and discipline

Forced feminization isn’t really forced unless you’re pushing it somehow. And sissification or sissy training isn’t training unless there are some consequences for lapses in your sissy’s behaviour, and positive reinforcement as well for when they succeed.

You will have talked at the beginning stages of the forced feminization process about a safe word, for when your sissy might feel pushed too far. That is also the moment when you find out what the edges are that they want to dance around.

• You could make your sissy do their own makeup and shame them for the shambles they will make of it.
• You could have your sissy serve tea in higher and higher heels over time.
• You could combine forced feminization with forced bisexuality, e.g. learning how to perform fellatio or take it up the ass (with real dicks or dildos).

Whatever tasks you choose, think about what your responses will be for both successes and failures. Your responses can be very creatively matched to how you are playing with your sub. Rewards could be a new cake pan (for the domestic) or some new clothes, or in the sexual realm, giving them a chance for release (if you’ve added orgasm denial into the mix), for example. Punishments could be corporal or psychological, but make them match your domination style!
 

As you can see, forced feminization is at its base a head game, which means that you can try it out with a minimal amount of props or costume. Get the girly clothes at thrift stores and the lipstick at the drugstore. If you focus on the mental aspects, you’ll be fine!

Cameryn Moore is an award-winning playwright/performer, sex activist and educator, sidewalk pornographer, and a long-time (former) phone sex operator.

Looking for/wanting to share some tips and tricks? Head over to our forum to swap advice on sissification.

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Images: lust4lthr. Flickr Creative Commons license